There’s a lot of stuff I wouldn’t think much about if it weren’t for these three kiddos who like to mill around and ask stuff.
Quicksand. Piranhas. The strongest dude in the world. Stuff about Jennifer Lawrence movies. (OK, so I might think about that one sometimes).
I swear, though, if I had to come up with these questions every Friday, they’d excite you like a certified public accountant annual regional convention gala dinner might. They’d make plain vanilla taste like Neopolitan with cookie dough, cake icing and sprinkles.
And chocolate syrup.
In a waffle cone.
In fact, even though the local and national new casts include dastardly deeds in quick succession, it’s interesting to see what questions are spawned by natural disasters and political messes.
And the news hasn’t given them nightmares. Yet.
1. Do stores have places to go if there’s a tornado?
Some stores you walk into make you feel like you’ve been in a tornado. You lose your wallet, your house, many of your possessions …
Stores, especially where we live, don’t have storm shelters. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration advises us not to panic, watch for others, and move quickly to an interior bathroom, storage room or other small enclosed area, away from windows.
One former employer told us that if a tornado hit, we should sit with our backs to the base of an exterior wall.
And pray – hard – presumably.
2. How long does it take to put together a mattress?
Grace asked this as we hacked at a twin mattress with screwdrivers, hammers and box cutters.
Not for sport, although it was fun. It’s the only way it would fit in the trash can. MattressesMade4U.com says they’ll have your custom-made mattress ready the day you order it. I find that hard to believe, given all the staples and nails and fasteners Grace and I had to pluck and hammer and cut through.
Although, I bet the two of us could destroy a dozen or so by lunch time.
3. What should the government spend money on?
After a particularly active day for my debit card, I exhaled and said to no one in particular (but in the presence of my kids), “we’re spending like Democrats today!”
As a beneficiary of EBT under both George W. Bush and Barack Obama, I bought mostly staples and generics under one, and could afford (although it’s shameful to admit) crab legs and steak under the other. That’s my barometer for government spending.
What should government spend on? I’ll always favor programs that emphasis job training, assistance with resume building and interview skills, and helping those who want to reach for a higher rung on the ladder when they look for work to achieve their goals.
For that, I’d gladly pass on surf and turf and settle for a block of government cheese.
4. Do animals care if bugs bite them?
They don’t complain a lot, do they? Not even the primates.
You’d think it’d be hard to find a spot to bite on a furry (or feathery) creature, but it happens. Dogs especially, with their noses everywhere they shouldn’t be, find bugs all too eager to get their bite on. Ticks especially seem to love a dog or a cat, and because dogs and cats can’t easily operate tweezers, they stay until they’re good and plump.
I wonder if bugs bite other bugs.
5. Where does space end?
This one’s cosmic.
I’ve always considered space infinite, but if Buzz Lightyear says “to infinity, and beyond!”, doesn’t that imply there’s another something to the universe?
Is there an edge to it, outside of which exists a vacuum, or possibly the capacity to expand space as we know it? Is space growing, or is it shrinking?
Where does space end?
My best guess is it ends somewhere just beyond government spending.
But only slightly.