Moneybags, that’s what they call me.
Well, not literally. But the kids, they think pops is loaded. Filthy rich. Not just filthy. I suppose when you’re a kid, $20 is a fortune. Even kids today. What they don’t know is that Bank of America, All-State and Duke Energy draw lots for the bulk of my take-home.
The rest goes to Food Lion and Aldi. And the local dollar-menu joint. (Just doing my part.)
Grace asked how much money I make, and when I told her (note: this won’t be an answer on Go Ask Daddy), she acted like she’d just won the Showcase Showdown. The scheming 8-year-old mind never rests.
“Daddy,” she said. “You should give one paycheck every year to me, and to Elise, and to Marie.”
“To spend on whatever you want?” I asked. Yes! Oh, Lord. So, what would you buy, girls, if you each had one of daddy’s (not so) hefty paychecks?
Elise’s list (Age 15)
- Gift card for more expensive stores
- i-Tunes gift cards
- Jewelry
- Guitar
- Paint and other stuff for my room
- Art supplies
- Soccer gear
- Dog
- Boarding school for Marie
Let’s discuss this list …
More expensive stores? Kohl’s is pretty expensive, you know.
No, like, Hollister.
What kind of dog?
Something big. I hate tiny dogs.
Where are you going to send my Marie?
(evil smirk) Someplace like China.
Marie’s list (age 12)
- Clothes
- i-Pod
- i-Pod Touch
- Shoes (boots)
- Straightener
- Bags
- Wallet
- Games
- Earrings
- Jewelry
- Guitar
- Phone
- Art stuff
- Wii games
- Soccer stuff
- Uniform clothes
- A dog
Let’s discuss this list …
What kind of earrings?
I don’t know! Dangly ones.
Why do you need an iPod and an iPod Touch?
The iPod is for music. The iPod Touch is for other things, dad.
Well, excuse me. So, what kind of dog, then?
A husky. They’re so pretty.
Just like dad?
[silence]
Grace’s List (age 8)
- Pig
- Guitar
- Jeans
- Boots
- DSI and games
- Dresser
- Wii games
- Jewelry
- Bracelet
- Gift card to Target
- Clothes
Let’s discuss this list …
Can you even play guitar?
Yes! Well, just a ukulele. But it’s the same!
You don’t want games like Grand Theft Auto, do you?
Yes! A boy at school has it. You steal cars!
Uh …
OK, what about this pig?
I’ll name him Bacon, or Charlie, and I’ll make a little bed for him in my room. Marie said they know how to go in a litter box. Wait, what if he’s a girl?
I think Bacon is equally insensitive for a girl pig as it is for a boy pig, Grace.
Cool.
Just a dad ... 
Oh I just love this!!!! SO adorable and your girls are just hilarious with their lists!!! Can I add to the list too?? I would buy a babysitter. For as many days as possible, if only you would reveal your fat paycheck amount…I could be more specific on the length of time. I would like this babysitter to come stay for say a week (maybe more? CHA CHING) while my hubs and I go on a long awaited and desperately wanted trip somewhere…..anywhere…away…. Number 2: A kohls card, starbucks card and perhaps any pizza gift card would do. YAY! Let me know if you end up doing this great deed for your kids! I just might tag along for the ride! 😉
My check could definitely get you and the hubs most of a dinner and a movie out, if you eat on the way and don’t mind missing the final 30 minutes of the movie.
Maybe I’ll just eliminate the middle-women (you and the girls) and get myself a mess of pizza gift cards.
Thanks Chris!
You are set to have quite a few pets if their plan pans out! I wonder how dogs and pigs get along. I have an extra flat iron for Marie which may save you a few dollars. I understand the want of straight hair completely! It’s a girl thing.
I know! We’ll be overrun with critters. I already consider the kids to be critters. If the dog and pig don’t hit it off, at least I’ll have a blog post. I might need that flat iron to keep the peace around here.
It must be a girl thing. I spend exactly 4.5 seconds each day fixing my hair. I don’t know how you do it.
Oh, this is SO funny! I love the unexpected addition of the pig (perhaps he could be named “Husky” and therefore, somehow count for both lists….). You and your girls have the best conversations 🙂
So, you’ll appreciate this one, then, Letizia. I told Elise, age 15, I’d seen an old snapshot of us snuggling on the floor recently. “Your little legs barely went down to my knees!” I told her.
“Now,” she answered, without missing a beat, “YOUR little legs barely go down to MY knees!”
🙂 too funny!
I named my cat “mouse” and my fish “sushi” – does that make me insensitive too? I think Bacon is a perfect name for a piggie! 🙂
Yes, it’s amazing how they want to spend your money on the things they want!
If only there weren’t any bills …
My kids used to want pets like pigs and chickens and bunnies. My response to them worked out well. You can have them as long as you give them food names because eventually they will be dinner. So naming a pig Bacon seems very appropriate to me.
I kind of like that idea. You have a menu and a pet. My luck, the kids will want frogs as pets if I institute that rule.
Your little ladies know what they like! Love this idea and almost want to see what my 3-yr-old would say. I kinda also now want a pig named Bacon. 🙂
They have some ideas, that’s for sure. If only the entire paycheck could go for stuff like this, and not boring things like utilities and mortgages.
A pig named Bacon would be guaranteed not to get eaten, right? We’ll have to name a fish “Filet” and a chicken “Nugget” next.