‘What Had Happened Was …’


Baby flying squirrels instinctively know how to fly when the time’s right. A baby viper? He’ll coil up and strike at a young age.

And kids know how to spin a story so hard they hope you’ll forget the original question. It’s like, they’re ready for Capitol Hill.

Dad’s question: Grace, how did your curtain rod get bent?

I’d noticed it at bedtime, crimped and sagged yet still holding up the drapes in their room.

Did I get a simple answer?

This would be the shortest blog I’d ever posted if I did.

No, it went a little like this …

Grace: So, Marie and I play this game, when it’s time to clean up.

We each have to sit our chairs. But, we have to sit upside down, and all twisted up.

When I say go, we have to get out of the chair and get untangled, and find something on the floor, and put it back where it’s supposed to go. Then, we have to get back in the chair, upside down, and tangled up the way we were at the beginning. And be the first one back.

Just one thing?

Yeah, but when we go again, we try to get more stuff. Every time, we have to go back to the chair and get upside down and all twisted up.

Is that what sounds like rhinos playing full-contact Chinese checkers from downstairs?

(churlish giggle) This gets kinda violent and noisy, dad.

Why?

Because when there’s only a few things left, you fight for them. And the bigger the toy is, the more stuff it’s worth.

So, the bigger the fight?

Yeah!

This must have been a big toy behind the curtain, then, right?

Um … yeah.

Let me guess – you went for the toy, and yanked the curtain.

Yes! I mean, no! Marie did!

And who won the game?

I did!

Might have to check this story with Marie …

Marie, so how did this curtain rod get bent?

Marie:I don’t know.

Hmm.

Maybe the adolescent flying squirrel gets better distance.

The tween viper, a more deadly bite.

Apparently, though, in the realm of ‘what had happened was … ‘ …

Nobody beats a baby.

What about you? What yarn did your kid spin to you recently?

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