The scoop of questions we serve up for Go Ask Daddy Five for Fridays offers a snapshot into our lives. Bad words and holiday traditions. Skunk recipes and Hail Mary passes.
This also applies this week.
I’m a bit behind – as you can tell when holiday questions get answered in the spring – so it’s more like an archeological dig into what’s on these girls’ minds. We’ve nearly forgotten about Lance Armstrong, honestly. And it was weeks ago that we watched “The Avengers.” (Heck, I’m just tonight making my St. Patrick’s Day cookies.)
Don’t even ask about the lice.
Wait, is there some justice in that we’ll start with America’s favorite disgraced cyclist and end with tiny bugs that make you itch?
1. Did Lance Armstrong cheat?
Yes. He used performance-enhancing drugs when he won seven Tour de France titles.
I’ve separated Lance the cancer survivor/inspiration from Lance the doping cyclist. Many will say many cheat in this sport. They’re right. But it doesn’t excuse him. If we snuck Elise onto Marie’s team and won a trophy, have we really won anything?
I’d rather lose with what we have than win with what we shouldn’t.
I’d do it wearing a little yellow bracelet, though. That part I believe in.
2. How did they come up with the game “Can’t Beat Cassiday?”
The Queen City’s Queen of Pop Culture rarely ever loses a match.
The contest, on KISS 95.1’s Drex and Maney morning show in Charlotte, pits a listener against co-host Cassiday Proctor. You have to get more answers right out of five questions than Cassiday.
As of April 4, she was 168-3. That’s, like, as good as the Rockies are bad.
Cassiday offered this email explanation of how the show got started:
I’m basically like a walking encyclopedia of useless pop culture knowledge. I know way too many things about reality TV and celebrity news, so we decided to see if the listeners of Charlotte were as knowledgeable as me. I’ve been beat, and it shames me to say so! I feel like if I have the memory for all this stuff, I should win all the time, ha!
Check out a behind-the-scenes look at the show here.
3. What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
Finally – food.
Check this out:
JELLY | Jelly makers crush fruit, then strain out all solid material. They then boil this juice, and add sugar and pectin. Pectin reacts with sugar and heat for a thick consistency, which belongs spread all over my toast.
JAM | Jam makers leave that crushed fruit in, even the seeds. You don’t need to add pectin, a gelatinous polysaccharide that ripe fruit contains anyway. The crushed fruit lends itself to adequate spreadability, which looks equally as marvelous spread all over my toast.
Now I’m hungry.
Kidding. I was hungry already.
4. Does Hawkeye have a movie? How about Black Widow?
I thought you meant Pierce, at first, from M*A*S*H*. Played by Alan Alda. He’s been in Tower Heist, Manhattan Murder Mystery and Canadian Bacon.
But you mean Hawkeye from the Avengers, AKA Clint Baron, the villain turned hero and master archer who actually has no super powers.
And by Black Widow, you don’t mean the female pint-sized MMA beast featured in ESPN The Magazine, but the Russian femme fatale dressed in black who can kick incredible amounts of butt even while tied to a chair.
Screenrant.com reported last year that both would get solo films. Jeremy Renner, who plays Hawkeye, would probably leap at the chance to eclipse his role in “Hansel and Gretel.”
Scarlett Johansson, who plays Black Widow, reportedly feels a solo film would catapult her to the top of my Top 10 list, past Laura Linney, Amy Adams and Brenda Epperson.
5. Do lice bite?
I don’t know kids – you tell me.
I won’t disclose which two of the girls have had the creepy crawlies. They do bite. Anything that eats bites, old-school dads will tell you.
(Did you now dads don’t freak out like moms over lice? It’s like bedtime or good nutrition. Just not on dad radar).
While lice burrow in your tender little curls, they get bored just hanging around, so they’ll bite you. When it comes down to it, lice don’t carry disease or do any real harm – like most dads, actually.
But, a louse is a louse. Whether he’s on your scalp.
Or a bike.