1. kathyatkissingthefrog says:

    You’re such a great dad. I’m going to email you some of the questions my boys ask me. I love your technical, fact-based stance. I get too emotional and flustered.

    1. I just have awesome kids – I feel like Chucky Brown winning an NBA title because of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.

      How about you send me five questions your kids have asked, and I’ll do a guest post Go Ask Daddy?

      I try to balance the facts with a good bit of bluster, so that the kids don’t think it’s like school.

  2. Ilene Evans says:

    I would agree that the reason why nudity sells comes from the same machine that makes us want super size fries. My kids will fight each other to the floor over the last candy bar in the house since that’s sort of the forbidden fruit in my neck of the woods. And salt..don’t even get me started on salt. I’d put salt on everything, if I could. Even Jake’s pizza.

    Thank you for not calling my beloved Yankees average. That would have hurt. Especially after yesterday.

    And sorry about your wallet. That’s no fun. That’s worse than the corrosive leaves covering your golf discs. Way worse.

    1. It’s the animal gluttony gene – I think it’s also responsible for us playing music too loud and wearing sweatpants with words across the butt.

      I think I might sell candy bars to your kids for $5 a pop. Hey, where there’s demand …

      There are a lot of things I’d call your beloved yankees. Average isn’t one of them. This *is* a family blog. (We’ll see how they fare against my first-place Rockies in May, won’t we?)

      I found the wallet! I put it on a saucer in the bedroom. Right where it belongs.

      As long as I don’t lose my wallet in the corrosive leaves, we’re good.

  3. Leslie says:

    I’ve been to Normal more than an average number of times.

    1. That, in itself, makes it an above-average city. Time for a new average city. How about Nashville, Ill.?

  4. laketranslations says:

    Always so fun to read!

    1. Thanks for dropping by!

  5. Why have I never thought of making a blog post out of my children’s questions? Brilliant! Not to mention fun to read. 😀

    1. Because I have the idea patented. Kidding. You should definitely do this! I’m amazed I haven’t had more reproduction and poop questions.


  6. LOVE this. You are my Friday joy. Meanwhile, as I’m reading blogs, I’ve been getting SPAMMed all day — as someone hacked into my Facebook account. So my big question is: Why am I STILL on Facebook when it is clearly out to get me?

    1. Thanks Renee! Pizza Friday is actually *my* Friday joy.

      Facebook is quickly becoming that run-down mall no one wants to go to anymore because everyone there is smarmy. If I get any posts for cheap pharmaceuticals from you, I’ll know what time it is.

  7. Chris Carter says:

    AH…. I just love soaking in your words!!!! You never cease to entertain me and educate me all at the same time. Love that about you! You always tie it all together in a perfect clever bow. I have pissy days too… where I lose my wallet and throw my freak on a bad driver and can’t for the life of me muster up a clear thought. I used to think it was hormones, but clearly if it happens to you- estrogen is not the reason. I dunno. 😉

    1. Thank you Chris! 5 for Friday isn’t educational enough to be school, not entertaining enough to be entertainment, but we’ve found that spot smack dab in the middle. You’re sweet, but I don’t wrap up anything in a perfect bow. You should see my hair. And I get a lot of freak thrown on me by angry drivers. It helps to think they might be a lot like you.

      I get really ticked off once every 17 months or so. I yell at soccer practice – really yell – once every two or three seasons. I can get raw if I need to!

  8. Good answers, good answers! Have a great weekend!

    1. Thank you thank you Jamie – when my girls ask about valances and area rugs, I’m definitely turning to you.

  9. Tricia says:

    It’s just never fair when that kind of day happens on a Friday. Hope the day ended on a high note and that you find your wallet! Awesome questions – I especially love the one about fall leaves:)

    1. Luckily, the crappy day didn’t see the light of lunchtime. Honestly, I wonder how many of my bad days get chased away by a good lunch …

      I did find my wallet! After I cancelled my debit card, of course.

      At least it’ll keep me from spending freely on Nilla Wafers and Coke Zero.

  10. Word Wabbit says:

    Cool dads are awesome. Good job. 🙂

    1. And awesome dads are cool. I just hope I can have 10 percent of both.

      1. Word Wabbit says:

        Ugh. Sorry, I meant that “good” dads are awesome.

        And very important to girls in a society that insists on reducing women to objects, valuing them primarily for how pleasing they are to the eye. This continues to be a problem as girls grow up and have to decide what kind of women they will be. And then of course, later in life as they age, they must be able to draw upon a sense of self that is unrelated to exterior beauty—as many in our culture give us a shelf life of about 30 years.

        “Cool” is a loaded word that can be interpreted in various ways, and in this case, maybe wasn’t what I meant. Cool isn’t always good.

        Such are the downfalls of the short message.

        Maybe it wasn’t necessary to clarify all that. But, I do appreciate that you are doing a good job, and my admiration goes out to you.


      2. I think we dads want to be cool, but, there’s a whole different blog in what that word should mean.

        I’ve seen dads who think wearing all the stickers their kid put on their ball cap was cool.

        I’ve seen dads who think they’re too cool for their kids.

        One’s endearing. One’s a problem.

        The issue you bring up with image could be a blog in itself! It’s an issue that hasn’t really come into play with my girls. They think they’re pretty because I tell them they are; I tell them more often their smart and strong and athletic and funny.

        Dads have a unique role in shaping how our daughters see themselves, and also how they see other women. I hope dads are aware of this.

        Love that you came back to clarify. You add to the post so much when you do that.

  11. Rorybore says:

    no naked girl magazines in this house.
    but, I have drank a margarita by the pool in a martini glass.
    salt AND glass.
    Such a rebel.

    1. I think I have a Playboy with Melissa Joan Hart on the cover tucked in a drawer somewhere. But I’d never put mud flaps with those little naked ladies on them on my car.

      (I even told the girls never to date a boy who had naked ladies on his mud flaps.)

      You ARE a rebel. You didn’t even try to hide it in a water bottle or anything. Hard-core.

  12. Wait. Your fall leaves disappear? I’m still raking those darn things out of my garden. That’s what I get for living in a state where it starts to snow before you can properly get rid of those suckers. They, however, make a nice mulch.

    1. Oh yeah. Here in the Carolinas, we get lots of warm weather for soccer and disc golf during and after the fall. It’s all goodly God-made fertilizer and mulch by now – well, most of it. There’s still plenty to cover my golf discs.

      And hide snakes. It’s an adventure.

  13. Rosey says:

    I hope you found your wallet!

    Great post, like always. And I see that you did integrate food into it, w/the mention of pizza…which is not bad, I like pizza. I’m just saying. 🙂

    1. I did! It was on a saucer in the bedroom. Perfect place for it! I should look for anything that is missing near an empty plate. There’s an 88 percent chance that’s where it is.

      If I didn’t integrate food into my post, would you worry about me?

  14. Nooooooo, now I have “Signs, Signs Everywhere Are Signs” going through my mind. OK it’s a short journey but still! Great post. I’m looking forward to following.

    1. Thanks Nelson! There are far worse songs to have in your head, you know. Nine out of 10 that my kids like to listen to on the local hit station, for instance. Let’s both think of something by Roy Orbison if “Signs” isn’t a good fit!

  15. Teri says:

    I’m seeing a pattern with you and ham sandwiches beginning to develop after reading this and the baby duck post. Both posts are great, by the way.

    PS….I hate the “Signs, Signs” song. Much.

    1. I could start a ham sandwich category, for sure. Now I’m hungry.

      P.S. “Do this, don’t do that … can’t you read the siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiign??”

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