If blogging was an Olympic sport, I’d be … well, I’d be in a lot of events.
This week, I’ve made my way to Carrots Over Cake, Beth’s awesome blog that focuses on nutrition.
I left the Nilla wafers in the Pontiac (where they belong) and I wrote a post about what it’s meant to me to coach my three girls in a sport I knew little about when I first took it up.
I also got to take part in an Advent calendar Tamara put together on her blog, Confessions of a Part-Time Working Mom, for a friend to many bloggers – Karen, of Baking in a Tornado. (All this name dropping!)
I told a story about a cold winter night that includes a couple of Star Wars figures and my dad making it in time to join my birthday party.
So now I’m home again, ready to answer the kids’ questions for the week.
1. Where are the next Olympics?
Not in Davos, Switzerland; Karachi, Pakistan; or Statesville, N.C. (Well, Statesville’s never actually bid … )
Sochi, Russia, is host to the next Olympic games. The opening ceremony is just 63 days away. Russian cosmonauts have already taken the Olympic torch into space. I don’t think the Games’ mascots (below) would last more than one chase scene in Ice Age: The Meltdown, two, tops. Way too friendly.
2. What’s the Atlanta Falcons mascot’s name?
It’s not Poe (Ravens), Chomps (Browns) or even Sourdough Sam (49ers).
He’s Freddie, and he’s not the only Freddie Falcon in the phone book. Mascots for the ECHL’s Fresno Falcons and Bowling Green State University are also named Freddie. He’s also on Twitter, and makes the rounds at charity events.
His inflatable alter ego lost his religion (and his air) on the court during a timeout of an Atlanta Hawks basketball game.
3. Can you buy the whole chunk of lunch meat?
This thought has crossed my mind twice – once, when I was hungry in college, and again, when I realized the portions I once used to feed my girls adequately no longer kept the hungry fiends at bay.
OK, so maybe it was more than once in college.
Membership warehouses and meat shops (they must smell delicious inside) sell 5- and 10-pound chunks of meat. I’d love to make roast beef in the crockpot, let the whole house smell like it, and slice off one delicious slice after another, put them each on a slice of toasted Panini, with melted Havarti cheese, herbed mayo, hot au jus …
Give me a minute before the next question …
4. How do they tag sharks?
Back in the day, you could bait a shark with chum, lure him to the tagging vessel, then sling him up and get him tagged.
Massachusetts Fisheries scientist Greg Skomal does things differently in New England. He harpoons the shark with a tagging tool instead. His boat is outfitted with a ‘s 20-foot pulpit for a brave tagger to get close enough to the shark, without spooking him. As if the shark should be the one spooked.
This ought to be an Olympic sport.
You know, these aren’t the first questions you girls have asked me about lunch meat and sharks. Who needs a DNA test? You’re definitely my kids.
5. Why does a batter wear his shin guards on the inside?
They wear them to protect against an angry tagged shark, no doubt.
Unlike you loveys, a baseball batter wears shin guards to protect against foul balls, not foul opponents. Former slugger Barry Bonds used to wear so much armor on his elbow and leg that he looked like a harlequin knight. He’d also lean way in over the plate because of all the protection in place.
That twisted shin guard is hit or miss, though.
As Kung Fu Panda found out in this video, sometimes, the ball finds you where it hurts. And sometimes, there just isn’t enough protection on God’s green earth. I’d almost rather take my chances with the shark.