This is What a Post-Super Bowl Rant Looks Like (I Need a Rum & Coke Zero)


photo credit: BOSSoNe0013 via photopin cc
photo credit: BOSSoNe0013 via photopin cc

Few things hurt like a Super Bowl.

I’m an optimist. But a realist. I’m writing this draft at halftime, with Denver down 22-0. This is a familiar feeling. Denver lost four Super Bowls before they won two. Do you know what it’s like to lose a Super Bowl?

Imagine leaving a tooth for the tooth fairy – and getting a scorpion.

Imagine going to bed on Christmas Eve with visions of sugarplums – and waking up to a bobcat with rabies in your stocking.

Imagine getting a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day – and discovering 2/3 of the way through the box that they’re actually laxatives.

With habanero peppers. And little spiky things.

There’s the elevated pulse, the shortness of breath, followed by a tightening in between your shoulder blades matched only by the tightening in your chest. It’s watching the first half standing up, then sitting down as the points pile up.

But your pulse still races.

IΒ hate this feeling.

So, I’ll follow through with hate. It’s the theme of the day. I know you’ll forgive me. This angst has to go somewhere, and it beats random acts of violence.

Inspired by a friend’s question recently, I compiled a list of five things that are just plain dumb. I added one, for good measure. For the first time since Coach Daddy’s inception, I’m posting while angry. You’re probably not supposed to.

Six things that are just plain dumb:

1. Meth

photo credit: pescatello via photopin cc
photo credit: pescatello via photopin cc

Who thought this would be a good idea?

Not me.

If you’re lucky enough that your kitchen doesn’t explode when you bake it, you’ll live long enough to get strung out and see your teeth fall out. No thanks.

Can you imagine if we replaced all meth with barbecue? What a world we’d live in.

2. NFL statistics

photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc
photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc

This one is a bit intricate.

Let’s say Reggie Bush gets the ball on 1st and 10 at the Detroit 20, and is tackled a couple of yards later. The referee places the ball between the 22 and 23.

Technically, this is a 3-yard gain for the Lions, even though he didn’t reach the 23. HOWEVER, it’s different at the goal line. If the ball is at the 1, and Bush is stopped, and the ball is placed inside the 1, it’s considered no gain, because a 1-yard gain would mean he scored, which he didn’t.

I know, so minute in the grand scheme of the universe, but still unbelievably dumb.

3. People who run a stop sign to get in front of you

photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc
photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc

They do this even though there’s no one behind you, and they’d have plenty of space to get in if they just complied with the law and came to a stop.

What’s worse?Β When they slow down in front of you so they can put on their seat belt. Safety first! Well, right after rudeness, law-breaking and overall stupidity.

4. Traffic cops

photo credit: John Carleton via photopin cc
photo credit: John Carleton via photopin cc

They cause more trouble than they alleviate. And what’s with not letting me make a left turn out of my kid’s school if NO ONE else is coming?

Left to nature and our own devices, I think we motorists could manage to get in and out of a school without a dictator, thank you.

This is America.

5. Songs with a lot of noises in them

Not all. For instance, Journey’s “Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’” is just classic, even with 2 minutes of “na na na na na … na na na na nahs,” but Maroon 5’s “The Man Who Never Lied“? Annoying.

Otis Redding whistling in “Dock of the Bay“? Contemplative and meaningful.

Katy Perry Oh Oh Ohing in “Roar“? Makes me want to pierce my own ear drums.

6. Many dad bloggers

No he didn’t.

Yes he did.

photo credit: Darwin Bell via photopin cc
photo credit: Darwin Bell via photopin cc

I’ve tried to read some of them. Honestly. I won’t call anyone out by name, but I wonder if they wear dresses as they write. Where are the men who blog? (You fellas on my list know you’re good).

I was lucky enough to appear on a list of dads who blog on another site recently.

One dude had been left out. So he commented … and i quote …

“What about little ol’ me?”

Just … no.

One guy had more pictures of himself on his home page than a Millenial girl has selfies on Instagram. Others would be golden if the were trying for a Google rank on the keywordsΒ my wife says …

When a man writes, he need not check his testicles at the door. To navigate an environment rightly dominated by some of the most talented and creative moms who blog should not require we men to write in drag and forget one thing.

We are men.

I am thoughtful, soulful, and love each and every person who leaves me a comment. I also listen to 3oh!3, foster hate for my teams’ rivals, and yeah, when Lizzy O’Leary hosts Marketplace on NPR, I listen. HARD.

You can be a man and be all these things. Just as a woman can be sensitive and nurturing and still kick your ass in tennis and out-write you. I read blogs of several of you, and I’m proud to work with many women just like that. Strong.

I’m pissed about the Super Bowl. It hurts to lose that way. I chucked my Rockies cap early in the second half and said a bad word, and nothing was hurt, not even the odd Russian Santas I sent sprawling (who knows where they came from?)

And I just ripped potentially some of your favorite dad bloggers.

You know what though? I’m still a Broncos fan. I’m still a dude who writes. And in the end … I’m still a guy.

Friends, please – join me in this rant? Even if you’re not a Broncos fan. Even if you’re not a guy. Even if you’re a traffic cop! Please vent with me. Some of you have already, and as you know, misery loves company.

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113 thoughts on “This is What a Post-Super Bowl Rant Looks Like (I Need a Rum & Coke Zero)

  1. HA! I don’t even have any words for this post- it’s both hilarious and brilliant both in its right. Does that make sense at ALL? I had too many rum and cokes…. my fave btw.

    Yeah- I hear the game was a bust. Uh, sorry about that! (says a woman who doesn’t really follow or care to turn the tv on when any football is playing…)

    But hey- your points about all that jazz that needn’t be happening in this world? TRUE DAT.

    Thanks for making me laugh- the way only “Eli wit” can do… πŸ˜‰

    CHEERS!! (To what? I don’t know…. you name it.)

    1. Thanks Chris! When I woke up this morning, I hoped the game was a nightmare (well, it was, but one in real life). Then, I realized I’d posted while angry.

      So to have your comment first to see … whew.

      And that my rant made you laugh? It made my morning (and I just busted my yoke on my over-easy eggs, so I was off to a great start).

      Cheers to, how about, little girls who want to wear the Broncos shirt the grandfather they never knew wore for the big game. And who decorated the house in blue and orange. And kids who give you long, hard hugs before bed because … of course.

  2. I’ll see your rant and say I can’t identify with most mom-blogs. I did not fit in with the team moms or room moms in real life, and online it seems to be the same.

    Rock on if that is what works for them… There are plenty of other places to explore online still. I just don’t fit in still, but now it’s ok.

    Meth is horrible and has ruined many lives of people I know. Journey just sucks though :-\ Sorry for your team’s loss, but at least yours got that far this year.

    1. I consider you a mom who blogs – and you do it brilliantly.

      You definitely fit in my tribe.

      I will, at some point, appreciate my team being in the Super Bowl. Right now? Pretty much hate. And desire to eat something chocolate.

      1. Thank you for the compliment, hope you found some chocolate to get you through the day. πŸ™‚

  3. I hear your pain. I was on the boat of “Anyone EXCEPT the Seahawks” to win the Super Bowl, so it felt like getting punched in the gut, the shin and in the chest for me! There are no children in my house so there was a lot of spicy language flying out aloud this afternoon. At least it felt good to yell.
    In the end, I took it out on my least favorite chore – doing the laundry. I got 4 loads done.
    Also, I voted Doritos not to air the commercial with the little girl riding on the back of a dog – this is so wrong! Never ever should anyone (even a baby) ride a dog. Dogs’ backs are not meant to be ridden no matter how large the dog.
    I will go to bed now. Tomorrow is another day and I have 4 loads worth of clean laundry.

    1. Junko – so glad you chimed in! I thought about you as I hoped for a Denver-San Francisco Super Bowl. Elise said during the game, “How do you think this would go if San Francisco had made it?”

      “Denver would be rolling,” I said. Of course.

      I restrained myself a bit, but I did let a little spice fly.

      The ads were as disappointing as Denver’s offense. That Dorito’s ad was especially strange. That’s how the kids described it all – weird.

      And you’re right – that should NEVER happen.

  4. Eli… it was awful, it was like watching your dog getting beaten and you could do nothing about it. In the third or fourth quarter, they showed a shot of Eli Manning watching and he had the same pained expression on his face. It was awful to watch. My streak is at four Super Bowl losses, I’ll keep watching, because that’s what guys do… can’t wait for baseball to begin or Nascar.

    1. Glad you got in on this early, Clay. That’s an apt description. I think it’s easier to absorb a loss when I’m coaching a big match, than watching my team, because of that hopelessness.

      Did you see Eli Manning? He looked pained, too.

      We guys do this don’t we? We come back for more abuse. Yes, I’m waiting for pitchers and catchers to report to spring training. Peyton Manning officially handed the club to Carlos Gonzalez to beat me with as a sports fan.

  5. Big hugs. I have to tell you though, I am a New Englander, so I have a special kind of hate for Payton Manning. All of us massholes do. Oh yeah, that’s a real word. Give it a google. πŸ™‚

    I didn’t watch the game, but I’m glad he was blown up by the Seahawks.

    But because I love sports, I also know what it feels like when your team blows it and doesn’t even really show up. And you’re right, it hurts like all of those things above.

    I’m glad you’ve found your tribe. I don’t read any other dad blogs except yours. Mostly because they all seem like tools.

    1. Thanks NJ. I understand your hate for Peyton Manning. As a Broncos fan, I would have loved to see this sort of ass-whooping befall Tom Brady. I know you wear the Massholes label proudly (I’ve seen it on bumper stickers!)

      Winning, I’ll always believe, is simply relief from this pain.

      I definitely have found my tribe, and I’m glad you’re a part of it. Thank you, too, for the affirmation about the daddy blog pool. I pretty much just pissed in it!

      I don’t think many of them read me anyway. They’re probably at book club or pushing carts around in Garden Ridge on Super Bowl Sunday.

    1. That was awesome, Ann. I don’t often get angry, but maybe I should! Honestly, I just wanted to be honest … I could have written about the sadness and this being my first Broncos Super Bowl without my dad, or that Grace wore my dad’s Broncos shirt, all that sweet stuff, but the overriding emotion was hate – so why hide it?

      Thank you so much Ann. You wrote an awesome post-birthday post (Happy late birthday, by the way). I’m including the link here because it was just that awesome:

      http://annkoplow.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/day-399-what-i-wanted-for-my-birthday/

  6. I needed this last night during the last quarter of the game. My friends and I watched the clock slowly ticking down, mocking us with each second that expired… We were trying to come up a comparison for what we were experiencing. Rabid bobcat in our stockings INDEED! It was almost physically painful! Oh well! Here’s to next year?!?!?!

    1. Right about that time, I was typing it and really pounding the keys, lips pursed. I didn’t give up hope until it hit 36 points. I hope none of us ever finds that Christmas bobcat.

      A Super Bowl loss is painful enough.

      Yes, next year … and baseball, coming up.

      More heartbreak.

      Where do I sign up?

  7. You had me laughing about Katy Perry’s Roar, because my youngest absolutely loves that song. they played at the soccer field in the summer when she was playing and now she always refers to it as the soccer song and requests I play it on my iPad all the time. So, I guess she doesn’t think it is annoying, but I will admit after hearing it for the 100th time, it is indeed just a bit annoying! but seriously, you already know how I feel about you as a dad blogger and please do keep on blogging, because yes I love you and your blog, too πŸ™‚

    1. Everyone loves that song. But me. For Marie during one great season, “I’m Coming Out” was the soccer song. I love the idea of having a soccer song! And really, there are worse Katy Perry songs (for content anyway) to pick.

      I appreciate your love, Janine. It’s an honor to have you in my tribe and as such a revered advocate. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

  8. Angry Eli should hit the keyboard more often. This rant is off the hook awesome. Meth sucks, bad drivers suck, and, as NJ so eloquently put it, a lot of daddy bloggers are tools. My condolences for the Bronco’s loss. Now we have to listen to the analysts (a bunch of grown men who want to relive their glorious youth) go on and on about Peyton’s legacy. Blah blah blah. Just remember, it’s five o’clock somewhere, so drown your sorrows one rum & Coke Zero at a time. You’ve earned it.

    1. P.S. The pain you experienced? Try training months for a marathon only to come up injured 5 days before race day. When you can’t even hobble around the track one time, you admit defeat. And end up bawling your eyes out to the orthopedic doc. Then you have to stew in your agony for months of rehab & PT. Physical pain, yes. Mental anguish, even worse. So, yeah, I feel ya.

      1. Wow, that sounds like what criminals must feel like when they’re incarcerated wrongly. But, it drives you, right? It drives you to blow up Richmond even with a few setbacks.

    2. Angry Eli feels like a menace to society! Glad it came out OK … it was the second thing that crossed my mind when I woke up (right after, “man, I had a nightmare Denver lost by 752 points in the Super Bowl!”)

      I don’t suspect any of these tool bloggers uses meth, but I’d bet my half-drunk bottle of rum they don’t stop at stop signs.

      I tried not to listen to the talking heads for two weeks, and especially today. You know I love sports – I hate ESPN. It should have made this list.

      Peyton’s legacy is set. And I think he’ll have another shot at a Super Bowl win.

      Not sure when my next rum & coke zero will come, but I can guarantee you I won’t replace it with a drink with an umbrella in it.

  9. I always say, speak your truth (with compassion). And you know what? This was the best rant ever. If everyone could was as thoughtful in speaking their truth as you have been here, can you imagine the difference in our world? Nicely done, Eli. By the way I was right there with you. I really wanted that win for the Broncos. OK – on to basketball, and then my favorite – BASEBALL!!! Go Orioles!

    1. It was a relief to see how this has been received. I had to be honest and post what I felt at the time. I did wake up with a little regret for hitting publish, but that went away fast.

      Thank you for the support!

      Yes, baseball time … Orioles and Rockies in the World Series? I’d take it. We’d have to bet.

      1. I’ll bet there’s a story there. I was just there Saturday for the Annual Fan Fest and Clubhouse tour. So much fun!!

      2. I snagged a piece on a stadium tour, and probably would have gone to prison. It didn’t survive the trip home. My dream is to have ivy from Camden Yards and Wrigley Field growing on my desk.

    1. Glad you can relate, Launna, and welcome. The World Series is drama on every pitch. Well, the way I remember when Colorado was there 442 years ago.

      don’t you miss the misery?

  10. Sorry for your loss, Eli, but I’m glad you chose to draft your post while angry. It made for an excellent read! Since I lived in Denver briefly years ago I was hoping the Broncos would win, but didn’t have the same kind of skin in the game, because the Redskins and the Ravens are my NFL teams. I felt your pain when my Hokies lost to Florida State in the 1999 National Championship game…

    1. Thanks Deb, for the condolences and endorsement of angry writing! It felt true, and I hoped it would come across that way. I’m in the same group you’re in now – just wait until next year.

      So what if the Ravens and Redskins made it to the Super Bowl?

      We all definitely have a championship pain story, don’t we? I imagine Nicole will chime in on this one.

      1. If the Redskins played the Ravens in the Super Bowl, I’d have two shirts and change as needed! HaHa! πŸ™‚ I cheer for the Redskins because they’re our local team; and I cheer for the Ravens because my husband took my oldest son to one of their first home games, and he’s been a huge Ravens fan ever since (so I joined the bandwagon). However, my only true football love would be my Hokies! I would be bummed if the Redskins or Ravens were in the SB and lost, but I wouldn’t be numb like I would be if VT made it back to a National Championship and lost again.

    2. Debbie, I was at the 99 National Championship game! Did you know I was a FSU student that year and transferred to VT my sophomore year? My now-husband was a Hokie, and we sat in the VT section. It was an incredible game. The Hokies hung with the Noles for the first half, but FSU’s depth and the Peter Warrick extravaganza were just too much. When I left Tallahassee a few months later, I embraced Hokie Nation with my heart & soul and never looked back. Would love to see Beamer hoist the trophy before he retires!

  11. I’m sorry about that game. My brother is a huge Denver fan and was just crushed by it. I feel the same way when the Penguins are knocked out of the playoffs or the Stanley Cup Finals (when we occasionally make it there). Few things hurt more than your team just not getting it together to do what you know they can. And few things irritate me than driving in the snow surrounded by people who don’t know how. I’m slipping and sliding with the rest of you, but even I can handle going at least 15 miles an hour. If you can’t and insist on going five, stay home till the roads are clear. Just a danger to everyone behind you sliding when they have to constantly brake because you aren’t going anywhere near the speed limit

    1. Me too. Nothing crushes like a Super Bowl – I think it’s worse than getting broken up with. Stanley Cup playoffs are so grueling, and you give so much to get there … it’s almost like punishment when you move on.

      It feels helpless, just watching. At least on teams I coach, I feel like if we lose, I tried to do something about it.

      This is why I like snow days. I’ll just stay home and work and eat waffles.

  12. Response to all your points:
    1. Last week we found out we had a guy in the neighbourhood whose house was searched for child porn and in the search the cops discovered meth, too. I’m not sure which is worse, but I have to say that up until then, meth has not been one of New England’s many top problems. Thanks, Guy in the Neighbourhood.

    2. I couldn’t even read that point. If you say the word “statistics” (unless you’re talking about blogging ones) or even the word “number” in a sentence, my brain goes into automatic shut-down. Sometimes I curl up in the fetal position, too.

    3. Yep. Stupid.

    4. They’re kinda helpful anywhere that there are Mass-holes driving (like, for example, Massachusetts). (Incidentally, if they’re Mass-holes, they consider it a compliment.)

    5. Hmm . . . yeah, maybe. I follow some great blogs by some cool men, but most of them are not specifically DAD blogs.

    I probably have some peeves of my own, but I got kinda distracted by yours, and now I really need to go do some homework.

    1. 1. What a tool. There’s a special place in prison for you, guy.

      2. I’m glad you were able to get out of the fetal position. I should have listed that one last!

      3. Enough said.

      4. I wish someone would blog about Mass-holes.

      5. I include guys like Laurie and Toby and Clay as great dude bloggers. The ones who fall into the daddy category, they sometimes are confused about their gender.

      Homework is my pet peeve.

      1. Aw shucks. I was hoping I could palm my homework off on you.

        Sometimes I think I should blog about Mass-holes, but . . . my mom reads my blog, and probably not my comments on YOUR blog. Plus, if I accidentally said the wrong thing, I’m surrounded by them, and it could be not-pretty.

      2. Well, we both talk exactly the same, so our coolness is probably equal–although are personalities are actually quite different. So, we’re equally, but differently, cool. πŸ˜‰

      3. So nice of you. I probably COULD block her shot in basketball–but not because I’m any good at basketball. πŸ˜‰ (You have to take this out of the sports realm, I’m afraid, my sports-fan friend. Although . . . then she probably REALLY could best me.)

  13. Sorry for your loss. My condolences.

    Toby, The Fearless Leader, is the SHIZNITZ when it comes to men bloggers. You and Toby are about the only men I read.

    And I’m guessing you can’t stomach Hungry Like the Wolf and it’s horrific DO DO DO DO, DO DO DO, DO DO DO, DO DO DO, DO DO.

    I hate that song with the fiery heat of 10,000 suns, and I’m a huge Duranie.

    1. Thanks Teri. I’m dealing with it.

      Toby is awesome. He knows that. He’s a dad who blogs, not a daddy blogger. I’m beginning to notice the difference.

      I can dig Hungry Like the Wolf … I don’t know what the criteria is, but it makes it.

  14. I feel you. I actually think you should blog when angry more often b/c this made A LOT of sense to me. I watched the game with my brother and he’s a big Bronocs fan. I think it was better that I was with him but still…
    When Rihanna sings “Umbrella ella ella ella” I want to stab my ears out.

    1. I like singing along with those songs because it makes the teenagers I work with feel awkward and then they realise that the song is actually as lame as I personally think it is . . . and I don’t even have to lecture them about it. πŸ™‚

    2. Thanks Allie. My fears were unfounded, it seems. I hardly ever get too angry, but when I do, I’d better post! He’s probably glad you were there with him – I know it helped to have loved ones around.

      It’s just a game, but it’s THE game.

      I wonder what these singers think when they’re writing this … hey, let’s repeat part of this word over and over, and see how that goes. Or do they write in, “let’s have people make weird noises for several bars starting … now.”?

  15. I enjoyed your rant, Eli. And as I didn’t have a team in the Superbowl and don’t care that much when I don’t, I’m sorry the outcome was so bad. When the Ravens lose games they should win, I avoid my husband and son for the rest of the day. As for male bloggers, I only read a few, and I read because they are men and have a different perspective than women.

    1. Thanks Dana. And I’ll go easy on your Ravens – your support of them should elevate them from the dregs where pittsburgh and oakland live.

      There are some really good men who blog out there, don’t get me wrong. Toby, Laurie, Clay, those are three of my faves. I think I align more closely to you and other moms who write than most daddy bloggers, though.

  16. First, I think you are the only male/Dad blogger that I’ve ever read more than once.
    And, sorry about the game – it wasn’t very pretty – you needed to rant a bit!!!

  17. I don’t know why, but I loved this post so. You know the phrase, “You won’t like me when I’m angry!” For you, it’s different. I like you when you’re angry.
    That said. Meth. I had to buy Sudafed last month when I was strangely sick. And to buy Sudafed, you have to surrender your driver’s license like some kind of criminal. I honestly haven’t a clue what meth is. And I certainly don’t have time to make any.
    Also, I was rooting for the Broncos. I don’t really know a thing about anything but my very good friend has Down Syndrome and belongs to a special needs church. A member of her community is VERY ill and his life dream was to meet the Broncos. The priest made a call and on the day before the Superbowl, what happened? The entire team had breakfast with this boy in Jersey City. And they kept telling me what an honor it was to meet HIM.
    That’s class.

    1. It wasn’t a proud dad moment, no. I’m glad you like me when I’m angry. It’s not often – it’s like Richard Sherman saying something intelligent.

      I think I said bake meth, but maybe you cook it. I’m not sure. I’m on my company computer, so there will be no Google search. And right, who has time?

      It’s not like you can probably go to a neighbor for a cup of Sudafed, like you can for an egg or a cup of flour, if you’re missing out on a recipe ingredient.

      I am still trying to avoid Super Bowl coverage. It’s still awful. The story about the Broncos’ breakfast though? Makes me awful proud to call them my team.

  18. And the “I don’t know why, but I loved this post so” comment looks more rude than I intend it to be! Of course I know why I like this post. It’s just funny that I like rants so much. I do.

  19. eli, and what a rant it was! sorry about your broncos but at least joe namath is still around and doing what he does. thought the game was so boring i couldn’t believe it, even if my team didn’t win, i’m just happy to have a bit of excitement in the game –

    1. thanks beth. joe namath is picking up right where mark sanchez wishes he was leaving off. i would rather have a boring game with denver up by 37, quite honestly. i could deal with that.

  20. I’m not a huge football fan and didn’t really care who won this particular game, but I know how awful it feels when your team loses. Blogging is about expressing yourself, so I think it’s o.k. to blog when you’re angry. And, I can’t stand Roar!

    1. Second place really stinks. And I’d have lived a lie had I written that night about my cats or something. I like Katy Perry’s earlier songs … they had more words and stuff.

    1. That song was definitely in my mind with all the angry keystrokes. We’re right there, Caroline. As a Rockies fan too, I’m quite familiar with the concept of “maybe next year.”

  21. I was thinking of you Eli. I don’t follow sport but sometimes get insights and thought how pissed off you were going to be. I first saw the Green Bay Packers play in 1971 when I was in Vietnam, it was my first view of US football. In 1996 I heard about the superbowl with the Packers playing New England and had a strong feeling they would win. I rang my sister in South Carolina, her husband was a big footy fan and told her to put what she could on the packers. She laughed and of course they won. Better luck next year Eli.

      1. You have a deal there Eli. I had a run on picking winners in the Melbourne Cup for awhile. I’d dream it the night before, usually a cryptic dream about the horse or jockey.

  22. Rant. There’s a verb I need to use for a blog post. Soon. I posted my 10 things I hate list, so that is pretty close. As for angry writing, well done, you. I hope you feel a little better with that off of your chest. I didn’t have a fave in this one, as I mentioned it was between Good Luck Charlie and iCarly in our world, as the girl child said. But I totally get the high emotion that comes out on that field and when things are going well, it is awesome and when it is not, I can totally feel their pain. To get to the big dance and then trip, … just shouldn’t have to happen to anybody. After a while, I couldn’t watch anymore and went to the kitchen to do something I rarely do. Cook. A new recipe. Quinoa and kale patties. About 20 minutes later, we had to open all of the windows as I had filled the living room with smoke. I blame the coconut oil and high heat. And trying to still watch the game from the kitchen at the same time.

    1. Hate. There’s another one, and you really nailed it on your post. But yes, try rant, too, it fits. Sunday was just a Groundhog Day of hate, apparently.

      Thanks for the props. I did feel better, after I woke up and saw that I didn’t have a litany of hate comments and dropped subscriptions.

      I’d have fought back, though.

      To have to choose between Good Luck Charlie and iCarly to me would have been like having to choose between the raiders and steelers – evil vs. evil.

      I think Jesus was trying to tell you you should have made buffalo wings, not quinoa.

  23. Well, there’s always next year, I guess. Based on your statistics, Denver should win the Super Bowl in 2018? It was a tough loss to watch. I had to witness my son lose his faith in the All Mighty Peyton on Sunday. And he just kept saying “Peyton! Bring the OMAHA!”.

    For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’ve brought your cajones with you on your writing journey.

    1. I think “there’s always next year” is the first word out of the mouths of babies in Kansas City Chiefs fans. I hope the forecast is a bit sooner, say, 2015?

      Kids in my daughter’s third-grade class blessed me with a little game recap today at lunch, including reminders of the final score. As if they’re not scarred on my heart.

      Omaha would not have worked on this Sunday.

      I will never, ever write without cajones. That’s my promise.

      I love your idea about googly-eye bombing on your post today. I encourage everyone to check it out!

  24. Sorry, I didn’t watch the game — there was a Walking Dead marathon on. but from what I am hearing, kinda sounds like the same thing.
    I rather like angry you Eli. it’s kinda hot, I don’t mind saying.
    I should not get riled up though. Someone was being a FaceBitch to me this weekend, my hubby is on nights so I am single mom, I am PMSing like a mad hornet….and I just ran out of chocolate.
    I’m normally a nice little Canadian, but I am getting cabin fever from all this snow too, and the bitch switch can get flipped Real Fast.
    Was that a lot of noise? It felt like a lot of noise.

    1. We could have used a zombie or two to help the cause, Rory. Or a game with only three downs like you play up there.

      Angry Eli gets better reviews than even-keeled Eli – you make it official.

      It was noise, and it was all glorious noise, Rory. I feel like the warning shot for Hurricane Rory has just been fired. Someone get that girl some chocolate.

      Angry Eli thinks not, though – he’d kind of like to see what hellstorm brews if we keep the chocolate at arm’s length.

  25. Good rant, man! Heck of a lot better than the one I had in public as I watched the game. I said many, many, many bad words and am still not quite over it. I have always thought of Peyton Manning as the second quarter Superman, I’ve seen him pull out a lot of wins after half-time. But this time, I just knew.
    I can’t comment on the dad bloggers since you’re the only one I follow. You’re a cool, dude, Eli! Even in the midst of a rant!

    1. Thanks, Sandy. Mostly, I stewed in my own juices on gameday, and bit the inside of my mouth. I changed my blog background to black in mourning, actually.

      I kept thinking, Peyton will find a way. I still think he’ll find a way to beat them.

      Thanks Sandy – I must be cool to be your only dad blogger. Hey, you’re not missing anything, and there’s always snacks around.

  26. sorry I can’t rant. I am too busy (as a Pat’s fan) rejoicing. 1. that Peyton got spanked and 2. that Brady wasn’t. I even offered, in my joy, to help one of Boo’s therapist burn her Manning shirt she wore to taunt me. As far as dad bloggers, I wonder if they are like authors of the 19th century. You know ladies writing in pants πŸ™‚

    1. I completely understand. Don’t think for a minute when it got dicey that I thought, “I could enjoy watching this happen to Tom Brady instead.”

      There shall be no Manning jersey burning – Archie’s kid has another year for redemption (even though the NFL will again send the Broncos to Foxboro for a regular season game for the 437th straight season).

      I think those ladies writing in pants in the 19th century were less girly than some of the dad bloggers of the 20-teens!

  27. I am so glad I came back to read this. Oh my goodness, you are hilarious. I had a draft of an angry driver post which has since been lost in my hard drive debacle but seeing your comments here makes me want to try to re-write it. I had two people do the stop sign thing yesterday. TWO! Maybe I’ll grab a bottle of rum and get writing – I can only hope to be this funny!

    1. I’m glad you came back, too. Thanks Stephanie – I usually write for my Monday post on Sunday night, and especially on Super Bowl Sunday, I wasn’t feeling anything but rant-worthy.

      A proper rant should never live in a drafts folder.

      I’d encourage you to file your next rant as it happens. Nothing held back! Funny is a side effect. Be true to your rant!

  28. Pingback: I Believe … VI

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