There are approximately 3,436 questions in my Go Ask Daddy Google Keep file.
One question stands alone as the best quote I’ve had from my kids in quite a while. Not because it asks about the meaning of life, or for dada to sum up Jesus’ gospels, or even to explain why Pluto can be a mouse’s dog but no longer a planet.
It’s not even to ask why Clint Black is white and Barry White was black.
“Dad,” Grace asked, “can you say sh*t on your blog, or do you have to use those little star thingys?”
I’m leaving the answer for another day.
Katy from Experienced Bad Mom, though, is taking on some of the best quotes her kids have tossed out at her lately. She’s not just a bad mom. She’s an experienced bad mom. And those of us who read her benefit from this.
But she’ll also stand in line for hours and endure Disney trivia to get her kids in tight with Anna and Elsa from Frozen.
Welcome Katy today, and enjoy the show here on the CD.
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Eli asked me to share 5 quotable things my kids have said. I’m happy to oblige. Don’t you think that the things our kids say are one of the best things about parenthood? Kids can crack you up, make you think, and hammer home how brilliant they are–and how dumb you are–all at the same time. Let’s see what mine said:
1. The “she didn’t say it, but I thought it” quote
“What rhymes with brick?” asked my then five-year-old daughter.
My mind went ONE PLACE.
“Come on,” she urged.
“Chick!” I exclaimed.
“Nooooooo,” said my daughter. “There’s one more I’m thinking of.”
Well, yeah, kid, there’s one more I’m thinking of, too! But I’m not telling!
“One more…” she encouraged.
“Flick!” I shouted like some crazed contestant on a game show.
“That’s not it,” she said seriously.
It can’t be? She’s not thinking what I’m thinking?
“Stick!” she proclaimed. “Stick and brick!”
2. The School Daze quote
“Mom, I spent today in Pre-K!” my then four-year-old son told me. He was transitioning from the preschool room to Pre-kindergarten. I was so pleased he’d had a good visit.
“And I didn’t eat my boogers!” he finished triumphantly.
I was so proud, I tell you. So proud.
3. The ‘Got Milk’ quote
When my son was four, he got a chocolate milk at the bookstore.
“Milk comes from cows, right?” he asked.
“Right,” I answered.
“They have a lot of penises and when you squirt them, milk comes out, right?”
Note to self: set him straight by the time he’s in high school!
4. The International Hair quote
I put French braids in my daughter’s hair. She was three at the time and her hair was barely chin length. Thus, the French braids were definitely a work in progress.
She was not impressed.
“I want Japanese braids. Or Chinese braids!” she demanded.
5. The Undergarment quote
Sydney was hanging out in my bedroom while I was changing my clothes. Seriously, does any mom or dad get privacy these days?
“Will I wear a bra one day?” she asked.
“Yup,” I replied.
“Which day? Saturday?”
There you have it, folks. Some funny things my kids said, all of which cracked me up or made me feel like an idiot (a common occurrence in my house, I’m afraid.) I invite you to come on over to ExperiencedBadMom.com and laugh some more. I’m also on Twitter a lot, Facebook often, and sometimes even Pinterest and Instagram.