Ever since I was a boy, the “what if” questions got me thinking.
Especially if thinking got me out of chores or homework. So when Amanda at the Miss Zippy blog postulated this week with “what if everyone ran?” it got me thinking. And avoiding chores.
What if everyone in the world decided to become runners? What if you had to wait in line at the greenway or the treadmill? What if you couldn’t swing a skinny trail runner without hitting fierce mama and her bobbing ponytail? Would we all be fit?
Would we all have shin splints?
Would the wait at Little Caesar’s for hot-and-ready pizzas decrease?
I’m glad not everyone runs. Because if we did, I couldn’t embark on the couch to 5K again this summer to prep for a fall 5K. If we did, there’d be fewer comeback stories. I love comeback stories. And underdogs. I love underdogs.
If everyone runs, we’ll lose a good percentage of our underdogs.
And underdogs are heroes to me. This kid, for instance.
Speaking of heroes … here’s what my girls were askin’.
1. Are UFOs real?
What if …
everyone believed in UFOs?
I do. You know the story.
As part of the No Sleep Club on a company trip two years ago, I vowed to stay awake to see the sun rise on our last night in the Dominican Republic. Only three of us went the distance in this branch of the NSC.
Between the three of us … there wasn’t all that much rum in our blood. A couple of hours before sunrise, E.T. paid a visit.
Five rhombus-shaped lights appeared above the palm trees – three on top, two on bottom. They were steel blue. The rows switched place six times, and zipped out of sight. All told, my close encounter lasted 4 seconds.
It took us all longer to utter “what the @#$! Was that??” in unison.
I don’t know what we saw that night. But it was something.
2. Why are the Carolina Panthers not the Charlotte Panthers?
The Carolina Panthers are kind of like your ol’ dad, all over the two states.
I live in North Carolina. I work in South Carolina. The Panthers play home games in North Carolina. They have training camp in South Carolina. They also played their first season in Clemson, S.C., at Death Valley. Your dad’s first writing assignment out of college at UNC Charlotte was to cover those games.
My favorite Panthers player of all time? Quarterback Jake Delhomme (right).
Charlotte’s right in the middle of the Carolinas, and the shape of the Panthers’ head is roughly the same outline as the two Carolinas. It also kind of looks like a slice of cake. Or maybe I’m just ready for dessert.
3. How big is a horseshoe crab?
Bigger than a Panther-sized slice of cake.
Horseshoe crabs are at least 300 million years old. Way older than me. They measure 7-12 inches across their back. Boys are about 2 pounds, and girls are 5. They’re a little sensitive to that, so be careful.
Like dads, horseshoe crabs will eat just about anything.
Horseshoe crabs are closer related to spiders and scorpions than crabs, and have 10 extra eyes that help them see UV light.
What if everyone could see UV light?
4. Does soda stain?
This is the sort of question a kid will ask only after they’ve spilled soda.
You did, didn’t you?
It could be worse.
Here are 10 questions you could have asked that could have been worse.
10. What happens if you hang up after dialing 911?
9. How long can a cat stay underwater?
8. How long can a sister stay underwater?
7. How many years of bad luck for breaking a mirror?
6. How about two mirrors and a TV screen?
5. Where’s the plunger?
4. Do we have flood insurance?
3. Will chocolate chips dissolve in the fish tank?
2. How long can a Wii controller stay underwater?
1. How about in a pitcher of Kool-aid, with a cat?
Oh, to answer your question: No, it doesn’t. If you lick it up right away.
5. Does the minus mean the battery goes in facing down?
Like, the minus inside the device?
If you see the minus inside the device, you stick the battery in bottom first. That’s the negative contact. It’s usually the one with the spring. And the other side, the nipple side? That goes where the plus is. Sometimes, it’s a metal flap. Confused? Look for that hard-to-see battery diagram inside the device.
Or just switch it around and shove it in the other way if it doesn’t work.
After you pull it out of the Kool-aid, of course.