It’s a fair question. Vanity? Narcissism? Book-deal dreams? Some bloggers speak of an end game we must have when we hit publish for the first time. For some, it’s their toy box, full of everything from LEGO to Barbie shoes to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
We write blogs to learn. And we blog to share.
It might take me a while, but I read blogs of every single person who comments on my posts. And, I pick out some of the people who commented on their blogs. It’s a referral of sorts. I’ve discovered all kinds of awesome that way.
The blog world is like this awesome literary pantry that people stuff with all kinds of outrageously good snacks.
And it never runs out. You just have to bring your best snacks, too. Hardly ever do the crappy snacks get in. I feed on that. So, what did the Pacheco girls ask about this week?
1. What conference is UNC Charlotte in?
My alma mater plays in Conference USA.
When I was in school, the 49ers were in three conferences. This has as much to do with their transient nature as it does the fact I had two junior years. The football team will join Conference USA, with East Carolina, Florida Atlantic, and Old Dominion, in 2015.
I’m sure East Carolina will emerge as our main rival eventually.
UNC Charlotte was the only school I applied to. It was that, or enlist in the Air Force. This was just before the first Gulf War. Many dudes I went to high school with fought in that war.
UNC Charlotte is one of those schools that will never win a national championship. But, they could possibly make some noise against someone who could. I like that sentiment. I kind of live it. So maybe UNCC was a good fit for your dad.
Conference USA’s geographic footprint looks like Shaquille O’Neal’s. It spans west to El Paso, Texas; east to Greenville, N.C.; north to Huntington, W.Va.; and south to Miami.
2. Are any octopuses that big?
As big as Conference USA? Only in sci-fi!
The Pacific octopus is the world’s largest. The record specimen checked in at 30 feet long. It weighed more than 600 pounds. That’s a lot of calamari. I heard they like to eat children who swim in the ocean farther than their dad says they should.
There are no Octopuses as mascots in Conference USA, though.
But the Miami Marlins had a pitcher with six fingers on this throwing hand named Antonio Alfonseca. His nickname? El Pulpo, or “the octopus.”
3. Isn’t “Jump On It” the song by those guys who wear their clothes backward?
So close. But that’s The Sugar Hill Gang.
You’re thinking of Kris Kross’ “Jump.”
Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly and Chris “Daddy Mac” Smith were so hot back in the day they even toured with Michael Jackson. Sugar Hill Gang’s song gets played during daddy/daughter dances and weddings. It’s called “Apache (Jump On It).”
Kris Kross’ song came out in 1992. That was while I was at UNC Charlotte. I did not wear anything backward, on purpose. Except for my baseball cap.
4. If you’re writing a novel, and you get information from the Internet, do you have to cite it?
I’m the wrong dude to ask this about. I got it backward back in high school.
I wrote my 11th-grade term paper on Italian humanist Niccolo Machiavelli. It was brilliant, yet verbose. Not the stuff of a Hispanic kid from an under-performing East Charlotte high school. Not the stuff of anything believable, either. Mrs. Spence gave me a zero on it.
This was before you could check content against the Internet. There was no internet.
I hadn’t cited a bit of it. No notecards, no MLA handbook. She thought I’d copied it.
It was mine all mine, I promise.
So I had to take English in summer school. If I ever write a book, I’m going to dedicate it to Mrs. Spence, in related news.
Citing your research on a bibliography page is enough in a novel. It’s not a research paper, Mrs. Spence. I mean, Elise. When you chop through some good fiction, the last thing you want is those little floating numbers above things.
5. Has anyone in our family had heart surgery?
I thought I would when I found out I got a zero on that English paper.
Your family tree has branched out both directions without a single scalpeled heart. We’ve had voice boxes and catheters installed. We’ve undergone chemo and emergency treatment for yellow-jacket stings. And we’ve had to have our lower leg set after fracturing it in a fall on an icy stairway.
And that was just my dad, those last three things!
Babies have heart surgery all the time. I can’t imagine. We had one kid come out blue and not breathing (Marie) and another who emerged in childbirth looking like she’d gone nine rounds with Sugar Ray Leonard (Grace). But a little oxygen turned Marie brilliant pink and a little time under a warmer that looked like the one that keeps Big Macs fresh at McDonald’s seemed to cook up Grace where she needed to be.
Heart surgery? I’d rather not have any of you go through that.
I’d even go to summer school at East Carolina with an octopus than do that.
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