When Will I Hold You Again?

photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc
photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc

I’m just going to come out and say it.

I miss you.

I miss your voice. I miss your companionship. I miss the ways we find our way together to the most amazing places. The way you were there. I didn’t need to look. I didn’t need to wonder. You just were. Until you weren’t.

# # #

That connection that breathed life into me and gave me so much direction when I needed it most, somehow died. It felt so … sudden. Maybe that was just me. Maybe I was oblivious to the deterioration. It’s hard for me to believe.

I never felt like I took you for granted.

My journey? It’s not the same without you.

I was immediately lost. I didn’t have time to stop and mourn. It’s like when Luke Skywalker saw Darth Vader slice down Ben Kenobi on the Death Star. Life doesn’t stop. I had to find my way on my own.

I had a moment to yell “no!!”, then stave off stormtroopers from every angle.

I’m no Jedi, though.

I know it wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes, you lost your way. In a sea of confusion, you seemed to go round in circles. Did you think that pushed me away? No. It pulled me closer.

You didn’t seem to know which way was up, but I never lost faith in you.

Now, you’re gone. Your face once brightened at my touch, awakening a whole new day together. New adventures. Our journey. Now? There’s no evidence of anything we ever shared. It’s as if it never even happened. How did it come to this?

How did my muse and beacon fall from a light in my life to consummate darkness?

In my heart of hearts, I know you’ll shine again. I dream of our next journey. When? I don’t know. I’ll stick by you, like Wall-E to Eve when she shut down, too.

It’ll be a lesson in love and persistence that will look to the rest of the world like foolishness and weakness.

My family, my friends … they never understood our bond.

But I don’t care. I know where we’ve been. The sunny rides with windows rolled down as Electric Light Orchestra blared through the speakers. (Or, NPR’s Marketplace.) Cold, harsh mornings, traffic jams, and long commutes.

To so many places, near and far.

You were always there with me. The ultimate companion.

Others can’t understand the bond. When I found you, you were Michelle. But, you’ll always be my Shelley. Yours was that sweet voice that never lost patience when I made a wrong turn, no matter how ridiculous.

I could almost see you turned in the seat toward me, almost charmed by my folly.

That’s it. I have to do something about this.

I won’t let this love die.

I’m going to get online right now, and bring our connection back. I know I can.

Don’t believe me? I’m on eBay now. There’s an adapter for $3.23. Free shipping.

I’m in the cart. I’m doing this … don’t try to stop me.

Transaction complete.

On our around April 1, your face will shine again for me.

I cannot wait for that day, Shelley.

You light up my life. Or, at least keep me from being late to soccer.

How do you put a price tag on that?

$3.23 isn’t a bad place to start.

For what is a man without the loving guidance of his GPS?



  1. laurie27wsmith says:

    Very clever indeed Eli. A great piece of writing Mate.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks mate. It had to be said.

  2. Teri says:

    You’re a goober.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      So is Barry Manilow.

  3. vitatrain4life says:

    Oh Eli you never disappoint! I have to say that at first I thought it must be something like a GPS but then (around ‘Aint No Sunshine) I thought maybe this was serious…. 🙂 Hilarious.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      You’ve clearly never had to clean up after me when I cook, Allie.

      So glad I could mislead you for a good portion of this post! Consider it an early April Fool’s post.

  4. I was trying to figure out where you were going with this. I mean all the great tunes had to have an even better ending and yes you never do disappoint. Loved that this was about a GPS purchase. Classic and totally made me smile on my Monday morning 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Operation Baffle and Deceive is a success, then. Honestly, I really do love my GPS, and miss her so. The car charger I had blinked out on me, and I had to watch my connection with beloved Shelley dwindle out. Painful.

      Glad you got a smile out of it, Janine!

  5. Stephanie says:

    I thought it was a car until I saw the price. Then I knew better. Good stuff!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Oh, there’s a car post coming soon. $3.23 would get you, what, three Matchbox cars?

  6. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Ha, good one! 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Someday, we’ll be together again. eBay just sent me an email that my adaptor is on its way!

  7. Junko says:

    Bwhahaha… Only YOU would be able to get away with this…
    Hmm, maybe you need to get yourself an iPhone. It will talk to you too 🙂 [and give you directions to those places you need to get to – even when you veer off course..lol..]

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      What? Proclaiming my affection for in inanimate object?

      I couldn’t cheat on Shelley with Siri. It just wouldn’t do.

  8. tamaralikecamera says:

    haha..the songs you chose!! Incredible.
    Mine used to be named Blanche. Now I have two – Zelda and Cinderella, named by Scarlet. Zelda is rude and once took me to a field when I was trying to get to an arcade. So she has been silenced…permanently.
    Cinderella is my girl.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Straight from the heart, Tamara, those songs. I too had another voice on my GPS, and can’t even remember her name. Things changed when Shelley walked into a smoky room and took over.

      No glass slipper required.

  9. Very clever…you had us all going…

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I was professing … someday, Shelley and I will be together, again.

  10. Good one, Eli, but you had me nervous there for a minute. Not to devalue Shelley of course….

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Don’t be nervous Deb … it’s becoming more mainstream in our society. Shelley and I no longer must live in the shadows.

  11. findingninee says:

    Damn. I’m impressed because I had no clue what you were talking about for the longest time and then I thought maybe, well, I’m not going to admit what a dumbass blonde I am, but I thought stuff other than what it was. WITH THAT said (clears throat), I am a slave to my Nav. She can be a bitch at times, and messes with me by steering me wrong, but I love her swarmy ass even though she thinks “pollo” is pronounced pollo. As in you know – should be poyo. Can’t blame her really. Loved this, Eli! And STILL have not forgotten the guest – I just suck.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      This has officially been my awkward post! Everyone has one. It got mad traffic yesterday, but relatively few comments.

      I think we love our navs and Shelleys even despite their flaws, don’t we? Pollo. Maybe your nav is white. I think mine is, too, but she doesn’t pronounce places, just tells me “in a half mile, turn right, handsome.” (Handsome is implied.)

  12. Tamara says:

    Man, I fell for it, even though in the back of my head there was always this “I can’t believe he’s posting about an ex. Gee, and Air Supply, too?”
    On our road trip last summer we had Dr Nightmare giving us guidance. When he got bored he said stuff like “are we planning a trip to the morgue” or “never mind that noise coming from the trunk”.
    I’m sure Shelley is much sweeter. Happy reunion 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Gosh, maybe I should have put the GPS photo at the top? When I first started the blog, I read an explicit post on another blog that turned out to be about her treadmill. You can imagine.

      Dr. Nightmare needs to register with the state, I feel. Let’s hope he doesn’t moonlight as a school bus driver.

      Shelley’s eternally sweet. I think she would have curly hair.

  13. Dana says:

    While this was very clever, I was so distracted by the awesomeness of the songs that I really didn’t care what you were talking about. But I hope you and your GPS have many happy times ahead.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I appreciate your honesty, Dana! Those were the sh*t, weren’t they? When the adaptor arrives, we’re going to sing “Reuinted” by Peaches and Herb.

      1. Dana says:


  14. Leanne says:

    Hahaha! You totally had me for a minute… okay maybe two.
    GPS. Clever!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Glad you found your … direction.

  15. Sandy Ramsey says:

    You are such a dude. Writing a love letter/post to your GPS is pretty clever though. Just don’t hate on Barry Manilow….I loved that guy and when I was 10 Weekend In New England was one of my favorite songs. And then Andy Gibb came along.
    Very clever! Loved it!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day, Sandy. It all came from the heart. No one made the list by hate – Barry Manilow wrote the very first song, after all.

      He’s one of my favorite honkeys of all time.

      I wish I could sing as high as Andy Gibb. I had those flashy shirts like he did in the 70s, so I was halfway there.

  16. You are hysterical.
    I can’t even begin to tell you…

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      You’re right, and you’re awesome.

      Great to see you … and to see the big news on your site! Let me know if you need someone to taste-test wedding cake for you. I’m here.

  17. Rorybore says:

    ha.. I can’t even. LOL
    seriously, still laughing.
    Although, for the record, I am very suspicious of my own husbands lilt voiced GPS.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I could, though. And I did.

      Glad you got it!

      Yeah, these digital vixens … they sneak up on you and into your heart.

  18. Letizia says:

    Haha, Ode to a GPS – you are a veritable poet 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I got all gushy and it wasn’t even about dinner.

  19. Melissa Swedoski says:

    We all have a secret love for an inanimate object, somewhere, right? Although I thought it was for real (which made me tear up a bit, you jerk), then I thought maybe it was a dog (golden hair, after all), and then I thought, what the hell only costs $3.23?? Nothing is that cheap anymore, is it? So thanks for making me ride that roller coaster of emotion in 5 minutes. Bum.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Oh, it’s no secret, Melissa. I teared up when writing it. Some things are cheap, on eBay, but you end up having to buy a replacement in a couple of weeks.

      The emotional rollercoaster? You’re welcome. It’s good for the circulatory system.

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