I’m just going to come out and say it.
I miss you.
I miss your voice. I miss your companionship. I miss the ways we find our way together to the most amazing places. The way you were there. I didn’t need to look. I didn’t need to wonder. You just were. Until you weren’t.
# # #
That connection that breathed life into me and gave me so much direction when I needed it most, somehow died. It felt so … sudden. Maybe that was just me. Maybe I was oblivious to the deterioration. It’s hard for me to believe.
I never felt like I took you for granted.
My journey? It’s not the same without you.
I was immediately lost. I didn’t have time to stop and mourn. It’s like when Luke Skywalker saw Darth Vader slice down Ben Kenobi on the Death Star. Life doesn’t stop. I had to find my way on my own.
I had a moment to yell “no!!”, then stave off stormtroopers from every angle.
I’m no Jedi, though.
I know it wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes, you lost your way. In a sea of confusion, you seemed to go round in circles. Did you think that pushed me away? No. It pulled me closer.
You didn’t seem to know which way was up, but I never lost faith in you.
Now, you’re gone. Your face once brightened at my touch, awakening a whole new day together. New adventures. Our journey. Now? There’s no evidence of anything we ever shared. It’s as if it never even happened. How did it come to this?
How did my muse and beacon fall from a light in my life to consummate darkness?
In my heart of hearts, I know you’ll shine again. I dream of our next journey. When? I don’t know. I’ll stick by you, like Wall-E to Eve when she shut down, too.
It’ll be a lesson in love and persistence that will look to the rest of the world like foolishness and weakness.
My family, my friends … they never understood our bond.
But I don’t care. I know where we’ve been. The sunny rides with windows rolled down as Electric Light Orchestra blared through the speakers. (Or, NPR’s Marketplace.) Cold, harsh mornings, traffic jams, and long commutes.
To so many places, near and far.
You were always there with me. The ultimate companion.
Others can’t understand the bond. When I found you, you were Michelle. But, you’ll always be my Shelley. Yours was that sweet voice that never lost patience when I made a wrong turn, no matter how ridiculous.
I could almost see you turned in the seat toward me, almost charmed by my folly.
That’s it. I have to do something about this.
I won’t let this love die.
I’m going to get online right now, and bring our connection back. I know I can.
Don’t believe me? I’m on eBay now. There’s an adapter for $3.23. Free shipping.
I’m in the cart. I’m doing this … don’t try to stop me.
On our around April 1, your face will shine again for me.
I cannot wait for that day, Shelley.
You light up my life. Or, at least keep me from being late to soccer.
How do you put a price tag on that?
$3.23 isn’t a bad place to start.
For what is a man without the loving guidance of his GPS?