I’m a cat person, but only by default.
And cat person is a misnomer. I’m a cat person in the same way I’m a ping-pong person. I’ll play if you have a table, but I don’t dream of it. I don’t long for it. I don’t wear sweaters with ping-pong on it or share ping-pong memes online.
(Are there ping-pong memes online?)
One dog tried to make me a dog person.
He looked like a Rufus. Pit bulls served as the unofficial official dog of our neighborhood. He roamed the street at twilight. Scary, right?
To him it was. He cowered in our garden and wouldn’t budge, because there were cats around.
Closer inspection of Rufus revealed evidence of a rough life – and an escape.
Something had hurt Rufus. He was timid and tired. I didn’t spend ages with him, but when his sad brown eyes met mine, I did my best to send the vibe I wasn’t going to hurt him. I don’t have the yard for a pit bull.
Not a happy one.
Much as I felt the pull, I couldn’t justify making Rufus my own. The Humane Society came for Rufus, and he didn’t put up much of a fight. It was more a surrender.
The officers who got him said he was a fight dog.
But, the ones they trained the top dogs with. In essence, Rufus, with all that intelligence and compassion inherent in dogs and evident in his face, was a chew toy to killer dogs.
That broke my heart.
Rufus’ profile posted on an adoption site. I check it a few times. Then I couldn’t anymore. I want to imagine he found a loving home. Room to run. Trust. Love.
A yard to give the kind of love only a dog knows to give – loyal, full, uncompromised, life-lasting.
Today’s a shout-out to Rufus. And other dogs who get the chance to live a life of hard love, companionship and squirrel-chasing. So, what did the girls ask about this week, you ask?
1. Do any players play on defense and offense?
Not free agent Rufus Alexander. Not Saints linebacker Rufus Johnson. Rufus Wilmot Griswold was himself just a 19th-century author, not a wide receiver or defensive end.
Speedster Devin Hester played cornerback for the Chicago Bears. He also returned kicks, and got in some snaps at receiver. William “The Refrigerator” Perry played for the Bears as a defensive lineman.
He lined up in the backfield in short-yardage situations, to block or carry. It’s tough to stop 382 pounds of momentum.
In the 1950s, Chuck Bednarik played center and linebacker for the Philadelphia Eagles. He’d beat the hell out of an opponent’s defenders, then stay on the field and beat the hell out of the team’s offensive players.
He missed just three games in 14 seasons, and laid that massive hit on Frank Gifford in the video above that effectively ended Gifford’s career.
2. What would go on your elevated grilled cheese?
I wanted to find a sponsor for this question. I’d devote a post to it.
Boar’s Head Meats? Kraft cheese? Some artisan bread company somewhere?
No, instead, I’ll do it the old fashioned way. For free. (And imagined. It’d cost a fortune to make this dream sandwich.)
Let’s start with the bread. The Elevated Grilled Cheese would start with a loaf of homemade American white bread. The kind with a flaky crust that feels like dessert after you’ve cut the sandwich in half.
I’d go with a Dutch butter for the grilling. On medium low heat, to achieve golden beauty. I’d use this butter, known for a cheesy taste, and spread crust to crust, every delicious pica of bread.
Let’s season the butter with … how about a dash of ground black pepper?
For the cheese …
A blend of sharp cheddar, gouda and Havarti. The cheddar will serve as the building blocks. I’d want it shredded, or broken into crumbs. Then blended with a tablespoon of mayonnaise and crumbled applewood bacon.
With just a dash of dried chives.
Let’s take a moment and just reflect on this. Paired with black pepper and sea salt kettle chips and a tall Coke Zero. No ice. (We’re at 740 words, and I still have three questions to answer!)
3. What’s inside an hour glass?
The one in my mind right now has cheddar and Havarti.
Usually, it’s sand. They also use powdered eggshell or powdered marble. Who needs hourglasses today, with watches, clocks and smartphones? Hourglasses are still stellar for Pictionary and locking Jed and Octavius away, like on Night at the Museum.
I’m pretty sure it would take at least three turns of an hour glass for me to finish that sandwich.
4. Do fish have tongues?
I’m pretty sure I drew a fish tongue in Pictionary once.
Fish do have tongues, but not like humans’. In comparison, it’s pretty pathetic. It’s just a fold in the floor of the fish’s mouth. It’s like a Wonder-bread-and-processed-cheese answer to my Elevated Cheese Sandwich. Some fish have little teeth on their tongues, which makes French kiss arduous at best.
One fish, the lamprey, can stick out its tongue.
5. Is that animal with two bodies and one tail from The Croods real?
That creature is a Trip Gerbil. And they are prehistoric. And also fictional.
They share a tail between two bodies that they use to trip animals to steal their food. The Croods wiki page says this unusual appendage can withstand an impact of approximately 40 mph, the speed of a Ramu on a rampage.
What’s a Ramu, you ask? It’s a cross between an emu and a ram, of course. They’re fierce and territorial. Hostile. But when the going gets tough … a Ramu will bail out.
Maybe this is why man made dog its best friend, and not the Ramu.