An Ode to High Blood Pressure, in 6 Words


photo credit: oleg.skl via photopin cc
photo credit: oleg.skl via photopin cc

All signs point to summertime.

The pollen has subsided. Baby geese are now awkward goslings. The Cubs and Astros have clinched last place, and LeBron is one of the last men standing in the NBA playoffs. There’s more spaghetti straps and short shorts, I’ve noticed.

And of course – High-Blood Pressure Awareness month is winding down.

And not a moment too soon, I might add. I’ve wanted to blow my top at least 30 times in May – that’s an average of once a day. That’s a lot, y’all, for a guy like me. Things keep pissing me off. Like, when we run out of graham crackers, and it’s 3 a.m.

I wanted to commemorate High Blood Pressure Awareness month. I asked friends, strangers, bloggers, and a few strange blogger friends what gets their blood boiling. Some were serious. Some, flip. And not one that I know of got pissed at me for asking.

Ernest Hemingway asserted that we can tell any story in a six-word sentence. Here’s our best effort.

Enjoy, and click the links on your favorites here. You’ll find that these bloggers do OK with more than a six-word limit, too. Also, Felicia of Felicia’s Red Door Life had so much to say on the subject, she posted her own blood-boiling manifesto today. Check it out.

Now that we’re all riled up …

What give you high blood pressure, in a six-word sentence?

photo credit: pamhule via photopin cc
photo credit: pamhule via photopin cc

1. Injustice in the Family Court System.

Tina S., author of One Mom’s Battle blog

2. Transitions, clutter and a handsome smile.

Tamara B., author of Tamara (Like) Camera blog

3. Two Little Girls Screaming And Whining!

Janine H., author of Confessions of a Mommyaholic blog

4. I love dog poop on carpets!

Heather C., author of Heather Christo blog

5. Toddler temper tantrums drive me crazy! 

Jenna B., author of A Savory Feast blog

6. hate racism bullying misunderstanding all hurt.

Beth K., author of i didn’t have my glasses on … blog

photo credit: tbone_sandwich via photopin cc
photo credit: tbone_sandwich via photopin cc

7. People who don’t use their blinkers!

Felicia E., author of Felicia’s Red Door Life blog

8. I’m outraged by the system’s brokenness.

Erica A., author of A Sign of Life blog

9. Late dinner guests make me scream!

Carrian C., author of Oh Sweet Basil blog

10. The sixth time I say something!

Rabia L., author of The Lieber Family blog

11. Band banquet, 230 RSVP, 500 attend.

Teri B., author of Snarkfest blog

12. Hearing myself say the same things.

Jamie J., author of Kreyv blog

photo credit: matt.hintsa via photopin cc
photo credit: matt.hintsa via photopin cc

13. Helicopters hovering and dark shapes lurking.

Laurie S., author of The Adventure of Writing blog

14. It’s a tampon…Spit it out.

Meg D., author of Dear Crazy Kids blog

15. Sunday night run for poster board.

Tammy M., author of Agrigirl blog

16. PUT ON YOUR FREAKIN’ SHOES NOW!

Meredith S., author of Mom of the Year blog

17. My teenagers dissing me as archaic.

Kelly M., author of Just Typikel blog

18. Constant complaints! Just be more positive.

Jennifer H., author of Dancing in the Rain blog

Meredith, Midlife at the Oasis photo
Lois, Midlife at the Oasis photo

19. When Vons runs out of cronuts.

Lois M., author of Midlife at the Oasis

20. Vehicles that don’t signal irk me.

Stacie V., author of Simply Stacie blog

21. Late trains, slow walkers, tourist food.

Laura H., author of Sprint 2 the Table blog

22. What part of “no” was unclear?

Tamara G., author of Confessions of a Part-time Working Mom blog

23. Smart kids who pretend they’re stupid.

Julia T., author of Diary of a Word Nerd blog

24. He falls asleep when we argue.

Samantha J., author of Foreclosure 2 Frugal blog

photo credit: melissaclark via photopin cc
photo credit: melissaclark via photopin cc

25. Whining and crying, blood pressure rising.

Christina E., author of Letters from the Nest blog

26. Real men don’t kidnap school girls.

Amy M., author of Maisymak blog

27. Parents over coaching from the sideline.

Debbie, author of Heartbeats and Soul Stains blog

28. Excessive device use. Stop! Communicate IRL!

Kerith S., author of Brielle and Me blog

29. Your internet connection is not responding

followed by

30. Reminder: your post deadline is today.

Carly P., author of Fine Fit Day blog

photo credit: reynolds.james.e via photopin cc
photo credit: reynolds.james.e via photopin cc

31. Parking space fighting. It’s t-ball, folks.

Gina J., author of Full of It blog

32. You’re running. Free. Fun. Stop! CAR!

Kristi C., author of Finding Ninee blog

33. Hearing NO when you want YES.

Madison F., author of Growing Up Madison blog

34. For the tenth time, SHOES ON!

Beth T., author of Writer B is Me blog

35. Being invited to the barbecue dinner.

Bacon T., author of Pig Love blog

36. Children screaming, people talking, all together.

Tricia M., author of Raising Humans blog

photo credit: mdanys via photopin cc
photo credit: mdanys via photopin cc

37. Daring toddler taking risks too soon!

Devany, author of Still Playing School blog

38. Patients who arrive 30 minutes late.

Lindsay, author of Wedding Rings to Teething Rings blog

39. Running late while stuck in traffic.

Roaen, author of Love Life Logistics blog

40. Heavy traffic and intoxicated drivers. Stressful!

Rea A., author of Reality Bites blog

41. Corporate big wigs with inflated egos.

Holly C., author of Simplify, Create, Inspire blog

42. S’mores-induced sugar high in tent confines.

Nicole G., author of Work in Sweats Mama blog

photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photopin cc
photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photopin cc

43. People who are oblivious to others. 

Meredith E., author of Perfection Pending blog

44. Finding out a deadline is tomorrow.

Cheryl D., author of Snaps of Ginger blog

45. Walmart’s blood-pressure machine is broken AGAIN??

Eli P., author of Coach Daddy blog

What would your six-word sentence be?

blood pressure quote

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86 Replies to “An Ode to High Blood Pressure, in 6 Words”

  1. #10 & #12 – all the time! Constantly on repeat, no one’s listening. Great list again Eli! Saw your post about “what men think about before sleeping” (obvi not the exact title, but it’s late) – loved it! I really need to make you a photo with Ingrid. Soon. I promise.

    1. Did you say something, Steph?

      Kidding … and this one was fun. The pressure’s on to find a great topic every month. I don’t want to think about the next one yet.

      Glad you liked the peek into the mind of a near-sleeping man. It’s a messy and brilliant place. Did you see the video of Ingrid Tricia put on her blog at Raising-Humans?

      Ridiculously dreamy. I had to punch myself in the jaw.

  2. “Band banquet, 230 RSVP, 500 attend.” – LOL to this! True, this can be so stressful and blood-boiling! I see a lot that are related to transportation and vehicles so I guess I can justify that I’m not alone in hating the traffic! Haha. Happy to be part of this! Thank you Eli!

    1. That one just made my pancreas cramp up, Rea. But it looks like Teri handled it like a champ. I’d have served dishes of fancy cat food and called it pate. Traffic is to high blood pressure what wine and chocolate is to just about every other prompt I’ve given this gaggle of mommies.

      Glad you played along, Rea.

  3. Hahaha, good ones!
    Lindsay, you remind me. It’s pretty annoying the other way round, too… spending time in doctor’s waiting rooms.
    Now what time is Support Group to lower that blood pressure, because clearly, there are some “at-risk” people in here!

    1. Not a bad one in the lot, eh TG?

      Uh-oh – are we opening the debate of health-care professional vs. waiting patient? Bring it.

      I think we all ought to get cronuts and forget the whole thing.

  4. I read and saw every one of the entries except mine Eli. I thought, I’m sure I put one in. When I flicked through it again I found it underneath the helicopter. Crazy eh?

    1. It was a Jedi mind trick, mate. I had it drop down out of the chopper for ya.

      It wouldn’t be the first time I left one out, if I did. Once, Tamara of Tamara (like) Camera blog submitted, but it didn’t make the first edition.

      I put it in late, and settled out of court.

  5. I need to add one more, “My name said at 3 am”! Sadly that was last night with both girls!! But seriously, thank you for the inclusion again and love joining in. So much fun – Happy Wednesday now!! 🙂

    1. Shannon Adams, of Radio Chick, submits 347 each time. All brilliant. So yeah, what’s one more? Do you think your girls conspired to wreck your sleep?

      Glad you were part of the blood-boiling party today.

  6. Another awesome edition of In Six Words. I love the sign about whining. I would be a millionaire if I charged my kids half as much every time they whined! Thank goodness for stress relieving outlets like exercise to keep blood pressure in check! Otherwise I’d surely blow a gasket. Every.single.day.

    1. Thanks Nicole. That sign should be issued to all parents when their first kid reaches age 3. A whine tax could paralyze our economy, if it were applied to adults.

      Coaching 1-1 soccer matches is also stellar for regulating blood pressure. Just ask my doc.

    1. I’m afraid this is going to become government-regulated if we keep having this much fun. I would love to see video of Teri’s reaction when those numbers came to light.

      Not a stinker in the bunch, is there?

      1. The only thing we put down around here is rums and Cokes. Oh, and red wings fans. And dodgers fans. And some dad bloggers, if they’re soft and whiney.

        Crap, we put down a lot around here.

      1. My friend was having a bad day so I sent her this link. This was her reply:
        “Endless unnecessary old lady questions daily”
        She works in an office where everyone except her is of, ahem… advanced age. She’s in her 30’s like me.

  7. Reblogged this on Piglove and commented:
    Oh friends – you must check out this posting!! My great friend asked me to participate in six words again (I’m #35 today). Today’s theme is an ode to high blood pressure in six words. Of course, mine is “Being invited to the barbeque dinner”. Shivers – that can be dangerous for a little piggy… especially one that is say well endowed in the pot belly – double snorts. Be sure to check this out today my friends. AND many thanks to Eli for inviting me again – you’re the man! XOXO – Bacon

  8. Awesome list, Eli. You rock. Sorry about running out of graham crackers in the middle of the night though – that sucks. As does having to tell somebody to spit out a tampon! HAHA 🙂
    thanks for including me!

    1. The people made it, Kristi. I just gave them a drop cloth and a few cookies. I think an emergency box of graham crackers will make my life so much easier.

      I actually know a few people’s mouths I’d like to stick a tampon in, KC. And tuck in the string.

      Thanks for playing along!

  9. These are great – except, I’m feeling my BP elevate! Why can’t people use blinkers! Why must parents coach from the sidelines! Glad I’m not alone. Putting my hands together for a deep cleansing breath…
    Thanks for including me.

    1. Wait, this wasn’t supposed to raise your BP! I think some people try to conserve energy by going easy on the blinkers. Probably because they expend energy doing my job from the parents’ side.

      Repeat this mantra: Blinking lights, quiet parents, eternal bliss.

      Thanks for playing along. I owe you a post – this week!

  10. I first read this early this morning. It certainly lowered my blood pressure, which I needed. No transitions or clutter, I guess!
    I can’t even tell you which is my favorite because they’re all.. so fabulous. The tampon one? Was up there.

    1. Coach Daddy is a great early-morning read, studies show. In fact, they use this blog in dog training facilities to calm the pups. I think it’s the colors and stormtrooper art.

      Not a sucky one in the lot, eh T-bow? The only thing that would have improved the tampon one would have been an image to go with it.

      Next time.

  11. “It wasn’t me, SHE did it!”

    That drove my blood pressure up enough we made a new house rule. Blame it on someone else and you HAVE to take care of it no matter who was responsible.

    1. I just looked through them again … they really do apply to you. Except for the dog poop on the carpet (no dogs, but kids and cats, so that’s sort of the same).

      And, I don’t mind being invited to a barbecue, unlike Bacon T. But he’s a pig. So I get that.

  12. Oh my gosh I LOVE this! hahahaha I noticed a few people’s were in the same vein as mine, and they were all women. I guess we’re tired of repeating things 100 times before we’re heard. 😉

    Thanks for including me, Eli. Twas fun. 🙂

    1. Ain’t it awesome, Beth? Usually, the terms that bind are “wine” and “chocolate.” Maybe if women would yell things the first time, we men and kids would hear it earlier.

      Strike that.

      Email me if you want in on the next one.

  13. Ugh stinky things have plagued me all of May. I’m glad you posted this because:
    1. I’m going to check out some links and
    2. I’ve been losing it these past few days and now I know it’s just because it’s Blood Pressure Awareness Month.

    1. It’s about time to let May go, anyway.

      You’re going to find lots to love in these links. Because May was Blood Pressure Awareness month, I’d like to declare Relax With Cookies and Milk month for June. And July, if I feel like it.

  14. OMG I love #35!!!! I can relate in so many ways. My anti-social self hates being invited out or having my husband volunteer me for social gatherings.

    I also relate to #22, #23 and #28.

    Thanks for having me this month it was a blast!

    1. Spoiler alert: Bacon Thompson is slated to become the first swine guest blogger at Coach Daddy. Stay tuned.

      I hope that after you liked 22, 23 and 28, you tweeted out the link on your smartphone.

      Glad you were in it this month, Felicia. And thanks for the corresponding post!

  15. Brain noise. that stresses me out Big. I mean whining, yelling and having to repeat myself constantly can certainly do it too — but that’s “outside head” noise. But, when that is added to all the thoughts circling around in my head that just won’t stop: worries, deadlines, criticism, what if’s, what now’s, how’s, whys, whens…. etc. etc.? I need to go find my quiet place fast.

    1. There must be a chemical element present in night-time man that could be put into a capsule or tea leaves and given to moms. I can’t imagine that thought cyclone buzzing between my ears – at least on a regular basis.

  16. Sorry it took us so long to stop by but I so enjoyed reading them all. Thank you for including us, it was a lot of fun and actually I’d reverse it for me….”hearing no 50 times a day”. Maybe its time I started saying yes because no has now become my toddler’s favorite word.

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