It’s not to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It’s not going to unite the Hatfields and McKoys. It’s not even good enough to allow Avalanche and red wings fans to eat calamari together.
But, I think I can rid the world of saggy pants.
You’ve seen it. Young folk with their pants down below their butt cheeks. It’s an act of defiance and a statement to society at large.
It’s, cool. They think.
And what’s the quickest way to make something NOT cool? For dads to start wearing it. It’ll be an ugly affair if 40-somethings share the sag. We’ll show off our tighty-whiteys and silky soccer-ball boxers.
Hey, dads killed off acid-washed jeans, Starter jackets and Tony Hawk wear. We got this.
Before that, we have more important matters to attend to. Such as kids’ questions. And to declare a winner in the Inaugural Coach Daddy Kid Selfie Cup.
(See the winner at the end of this post).
As for them kids’ questions …
1. Does Amazon need Apple’s permission to use the iPad in advertising?
Just as I don’t need Hanes’ permission to sag my jeans, Amazon is free to run comparative advertising with it’s rival, Apple. As with me and my trousers, they do so at their own risk.
The Federal Trade Commission allows for you to compare your product to your competitor. But it’s risky business. Even if you’re truthful, you could face litigation if your competitor takes you to court. Sometimes, a brand will run ads until murmurs of lawsuits rise, and then drop them.
By then, the ads have done their damage.
Not unlike dads in saggy pants to mall goers everywhere.
2. What is a stroke?
I’m not even going to play around with this answer.
A stroke happens when a clot prevents blood from reaching part of the brain. Brain cells die, and memory, movement and speech can become impaired. The stroke location determines how much brain damage occurs.
Sometimes, you recover from a stroke, according to the National Stroke Association. But about 2/3 of stroke victims have some sort of disability.
I found this document on the Association website.
3. Are ski jumping skis different from regular skis?
More different than an iPad is from a Kindle.
They make jumping skis especially for that sport. By rule, your jumping skis can be 146% of your total body height. That means mine could be more than 8 feet long! But there also weight restrictions.
So dad’s best bet is freestyle. Meaning, if the skiing is free, that’s his style.
Long-time Coach Daddy fan Julia Mancuso is also an Olympic gold medalist. When she’s not on this blog, JM rips it up in Alpine on skis not as wide or as long as jumping skis. She’s good. Real good.
4. What is Star Trek?
Star Trek is what uninformed parents and relatives confused with Star Wars when I was a kid.
No ill will to Trekkies – which is what Star Trek fans call themselves – but there’s a huge difference. Like Avalanche-red wings difference. In Star Trek, Captain Kirk leads a crew of 430 on the U.S.S. Enterprise to “boldly go where no man has gone before.”
With Spock, Bones (not Temperance Brennan, no) and Scotty, Captain Kirk explores dangerous worlds. And interstellar love. He was quite the space player.
On Star Wars? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Except for Han Solo and Princess Leia. Star Trek isn’t as cool as Star Wars, but it’s cooler than Battlestar Galactica.
5. Can you get arrested for stealing a penny?
Texas Penal Code 31.03 says theft of property of less than $20,000 made of aluminum, bronze, copper or brass is a felony. The U.S. mint has always made pennies of an amalgamation of copper, bronze or brass.
So if you’re taking in a Cowboys game, or in the bleachers to see the Rangers play, be careful. See a penny, pick it up?
Careful, ’cause they’ll lock you up.
# # #
Congratulations, Selfie No. 4! You’re the grand-prize winner.
I’ll contact your mama about the mystery prize package.