Guest Post: Laurie of The Adventure of Writing, on What to Bring to My Barbecue


photo credit: Stéfan via photopin cc
photo credit: Stéfan via photopin cc

When I started this blog years ago, I thought it would be the voice of dudes everywhere.

Boy, was I wrong.

Roughly 92% of my followers are women. Roughly the same percentage of male bloggers write like women. I feel like I write for women. Not like. Big difference. I won’t say things like squee! or totes adorbs or “said no one ever.” I think those aren’t manly terms.

My No. 1 fan in terms of comment engagement happens to be a bloke.

Or a mate, as it were. Laurie, who writes The Adventure of Writing, is nearly the first to check in to my posts. When I hit publish at midnight, it’s 7 p.m. down under. Just as I drift off to sleep, my phone chimes in that Laurie Smith has liked my post.

Today, you’ll like his post.

My Englishman friend turned Aussie will tell you today the five essentials he’d bring to a barbecue with Coach Daddy. While we fire up the barbie, make sure you check out his Adventure of Writing, wrought with tales of curious wallabies and wayward spirits.

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I’m pleased to be here on Eli’s blog and would love to attend a BBQ at his home. After I finish listing what I’d bring he may not invite me back though.

My Hat,

laurie hat
This shows that I actually do work around the place now and then.

I don’t go outside unless my old hat comes along. It not only keeps the sun off my balding dome in summer, it keeps it warm in winter. I can use it to put out small fires, especially those that flare up on a grill. Flies don’t know what hit them when you swish it around, and you can wear it down over your face when you’re sleeping relaxing.

A Cricket Bat and Ball.

You don’t have to use a Flamingo for the wickets but it does add style.
You don’t have to use a Flamingo for the wickets but it does add style.

Yes, I know Eli loves his football and baseball. Well I want to introduce him to a gentleman’s game, Cricket. It can be played anywhere, from the hallowed grounds of Lords in England to the MCG in Melbourne. It’s played on beaches, in backyards, and out on the street. Anything can be used for stumps (wickets) except maybe your little
brother, that ball hurts. The ball normally used in matches is cork bound in string with a leather outer. The ball of choice for backyards etc is a tennis ball. The rules change in backyards. Over the fence you’re out, on the roof you’re done and if you break a window? Well you just keep running. Someone always seems to bring out a bat at BBQ’s, usually after the adults have had a few beers too many. Then the Dad’s show their prowess and whack the ball all over the place. The rules? Two teams, one team is in with two batters. The team that is out plays in the field trying to get the team that is in, out. Once they have them all out, then the team that was out is in and the team that was in is now out. They then try to get the team that is in out and………… now I’m confused, have a look at
the link. › Rules.

Food.

laurie food
Yes, Skippy does get eaten here.

Everyone knows you don’t turn up to a BBQ empty handed, even if you only bring some sausages it’s better than nothing. When we first arrived in Australia from England back in 1961, we had no idea of local customs at all. We were invited to a BBQ and asked to, ‘bring a plate.’ Mum remarked that it sounds like they don’t have enough crockery to go
around. So we all ended up there with an empty plate each. Hmm, what would I bring? We have a fine range of meats here and other than a couple of rump steaks and wholegrain bread rolls for me. I would bring the host something different to savour. For a start, Emu meat it’s part of our national emblem and it tastes like chicken. Then there’s crocodile
and it tastes like, err chicken. It wouldn’t be a BBQ without that favourite, kangaroo, the other half of the emblem. No, it doesn’t taste like chicken, more along the line of venison, slightly gamey but highly nutritious.

Thanks to Wikipedia for the picture.

Beer.

laurie beer

I would have to bring a six pack of Fourex Gold, yes it’s a beer. I know the brand Forex in the US is a condom; it caused no end of mirth in Vietnam when you told a US serviceman you drank Fourex. It is a beer to behold and there’s nothing like feeling it sliding down your parched throat on a hot day. It helps wash that croc meat down when you find out exactly what you’re eating.

A Zero Turn Mower to carry my Esky.

laurie esky
I’m on the way; will someone point me in the right direction?

One has to think ahead here. What if your lawn hasn’t been cut? I’m dressed for action, wearing my hat of course, bat ball and an Esky full of meat and beer. So watch out Eli, when you hear that four stroke engine screaming in the distance, and the rattling of empty cans you know Laurie is on his way to your BBQ.

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149 Replies to “Guest Post: Laurie of The Adventure of Writing, on What to Bring to My Barbecue”

  1. Thanks so much Eli, it will give the followers a different view of yours truly. Sorry about waking you up Mate, you’ll have to change your ring tone to Waltzing Matilda or something so you know it’s me.
    Cheers
    Laurie.

    1. I wanted them to know the mate behind all the comment convo around here. Waltzing Matilda – my kids used to sing that. I’m so much more worldly than I thought.

      And yeah, then I can sleep soundly knowing you liked the post and are lifting a Fourex in my honor.

      The beer, mate, the beer.

      1. I’ve tried a few beers, from Beer 33 in Vietnam which tastes like water buffalo pee to Colt 45 and Schlitz. There are some beers out here now that taste like angels crying on your tongue.

  2. What a feelgood post! Of course I’ve seen you around, Laurie, and noticed that you benefit from the head start that living in Australia brings 😉 Love your national anthem and what little I’ve seen from your beautiful country!
    Now to the barbie: Bringing your hat will be the beginning of a wonderful friendship. I’m sure you’ve heard about Eli’s Rockies cap.
    Bring a plate? Baahahaha!
    Too bad I don’t work for the airline anymore. I would have loved to arrange for a ticket for you to actually make that BBQ happen, lawn mower, cricket equipment, croc meat and all – that’d be such a blast even for us readers! You WOULD blog about it, right?

    To E: what took you so long to feature your mate? Just saying. Thanks for the fun!
    PS: squee???

    1. Hi Tamara, I don’t always do feel good but Eli gave me a great opportunity to give it a go. Waking up when everyone else is going to sleep has it’s benefits. With a big hat one can get that all round protection. I’ve heard of Eli’s Rockies cap, I actually have a Green bay Packers one somewhere in the cupboard. That would have been a sight Tamara, me zooming out of the luggage compartment on the mower, waving my cricket bat in the air. Yes I would blog about something as momentous as that, ‘Expat Englishman brings new culture to the Americas via Oz.’ Thanks so much for dropping in Tamara.

      1. That’d make you traveller of the year at JFK airport, hahaha! It’d be all fine and dandy until you picked up your esky from the bulk items belt and arrived at customs, and the humorless officers took away your croc. No importing of prospective purses! And don’t get them started on the meat. Not even canned! I almost got arrested for having an apple in my backpack once. True story.

      2. I thought LAX was bad. They never look on the bright side of things at airport security. No croc purses, how would I go with my cane toad coin purse? I imagine that fresh meat is not popular, the same here actually. An apple eh? You should have told them you were Johnny Appleseed’s little sister. 🙂 It was so nice to meet you at the BBQ today Tamara.

    1. Sorella, what can I say? Of course you can, the more the merrier as long as you bring one of your dishes, full of course. Yes it’s nice to play in Eli’s blog, plenty of happy people.
      Cheers
      Fratello.

  3. LOL! *Note to self: Make sure beverages have been swallowed before reading Laurie’s humour posts”. Great job, Laurie and loved the photos! Nice to “meet” you, Coach Daddy!
    PS- Would that work t-shirt be a nod to my homeland, Laurie? Or is there an Alberta in Aus too?

    1. Have you been snorking out of your nose AGAIN Tami? It can be undignified you know. Great to see you here, Coach Daddy is nice people and he always has something happening here. That is an Alberta shirt, I bought when I was in Edmonton in 2002, went there for Xmas in 2003 too.

  4. Loved this! A great way to begin my day! I can imagine the two of you enjoying that Fourex, with kangaroo, err Emu, or “chicken” by any other name whilst resting after game of Cricket..or is it a match? 😉

    1. Hi Carrie, glad to have brightened your day. After a few Fourex’s and a plate or two of fine food we’d be sitting back telling the kids how to play. Only after hitting a couple of sixes over the roof. To be really confusing, that’s if the rules aren’t confusing enough it can bee called both.

      1. Well Eli, it’s like this. You hit the ball and run between wickets, if the ball hits the boundary it’s 4 runs. If it goes over the fence it’s 6 runs. You need to fire up the old computer and have a look on you tube, there’s bound to be a game on there.

      2. All I know is the Indian blokes who play at the park have to look out for my wayward throws on the disc golf course, and I have to watch out for their wicket balls flying into the brush when I toss the discs.

  5. So excited to see Laurie on here! I love the banter between the two of you. Hope that’s not creepy that I read it… If it is, ignore that line.

    The hat – gives you that rugged Indian Jones look. Bet all the women swoon…
    Cricket – I’d definitely give it a try. I’m pretty good at softball.
    The grub – I think I might be able to lose some weight there… or gain it because all I will eat is the junk food.
    The beer – I’ll leave that to you men
    The transportation – If there’s room for a cooler then there’s room to take me for a ride, right?!

    1. Hi Cheryl, yes Eli and I chat away as if no one is watching. Not creepy at all. In the top picture they swoon from the sweat and chainsaw dust. They swoon when I wear it a rakish angle though.
      Food? Okay I brought chocolate, it’s swishing around in the slurry at the bottom of the esky.
      Beer? I’m sure there’s a wine spritzer in there somewhere.
      Transportation? I’m almost sure I could balance you on the esky Cheryl, I may cast it aside though. I don’t want you swooning now. *wink*

      1. It is indeed Mate. There are millions of roos in this country more than when Captain Cook sailed up the east coast. With the emu’s they only use the farmed ones.

  6. Laurie, I always enjoy your comments and now I’m enjoying your post.
    I had no idea that Pippa Middleton had quotable quotes, but I consider myself schooled on that and I may make this into a magnet.
    I don’t know if I could eat kangaroo, though. I have wildly unpopular rules on eating meat/seafood. It can’t look like it did when it was alive. It can’t be an adorable animal. And it can’t be an animal I love.
    So goodbye lobster, lamb, kangaroo, moose and whale burgers!

      1. I always thought they were little aliens! I tried eating one once. It didn’t work out.

      2. Shrimp/Prawns are basically cockroaches of the sea, only they look much better than the ones on land. They taste delicious in a curry (no, not roaches) or BBQ’ed or, or……. Anyway you can cook them Joy.

    1. I feel your pain Tamara, although I reckon you’d starve in China, they eat some strange things there. I used to hunt years ago (I take pics now) and I had a hobby farm for a few years, so I slaughtered my own food. I did however always thank the animal for sustaining me. Not that it stopped it from dying I guess but I felt a little better. I have no trouble with seafood, they’ll eat you if you stay in the water long enough. Whales are out only because I haven’t got an esky big enough. Kidding, although I guess if that’s all you had to live on it would be different. You didn’t mention Rabbits, now there’s a tasty little critter. They’re an introduced species here and quite a pest, so rabbit pie, stew, casserole etc are quite a fave dish. I just envisage an ugly mask on them then I feel better.
      Thanks for commenting Tamara, it’s been a pleasure chatting.

    1. Thanks for following Beth, I saw that you ‘joined up’ this morning. I’ve been that busy I haven’t had time to come on over. Eli’s had me cleaning his BBQ, actually I’m still trying to explain the intricacies of cricket to him.

      1. Awesome art all round Mate. It’s been a great day, I’ve enjoyed it immensely. Not only because I’ve been a visitor on your blog but I’ve met some nice folk. *Whispers* I’m not sure about Tamara coming to the next Barbie, I don’t know if I can rustle up too many ugly animals to eat. Oh, oh, I know. Water Buffalos, they’re ugly sons of……

    1. Hey Raani, you’re just in time for a quick spin on the mower. We’ve eaten all the food, drank everything and I’m picking teams for the cricket. You can be the leg umpire and I’ll be in the ‘silly mid off’ position.’ I try with the pictures Raani but it’s funny, nobody has mentioned the pit full of crocs. Hmm.

  7. Your BBQ sounds like a grand ole time, Laurie! It’s nice to see you featured here on Coach Daddy. I’m headed over to check out your blog now. Before I go, wanted to ask you if you know Greg Anderson, the electric cowboy and/or Price & McCoy. Had the pleasure of working with all three of them several years back. Nice guys who represent Australia well.

  8. This is fantastic! I love the cricket rules and using the little brother as a stump! I don’t know about emu and kangaroo, even though I love venison and I imagine the croc tastes a lot like gator, which I’m used to. I love this post from top to bottom, Laurie and Eli.

    1. Hi Sandy, sorry I missed you. I didn’t tick the notify box, I should’ve known with Eli being so popular that there’s be more comments. Roo’s pretty much like venison and croc, well like gator I guess. I’m very happy you liked this post Sandy, it was a hoot doing it.

  9. Wait….. not Fosters? 🙂
    I have actually had crocodile……or, was it alligator? well whichever, it actually tasted quite good. I don’t know that I could eat Skippy though. Besides, he looks like he could beat the crap out of me before I could take him out.

    1. Maybe that’s too touristy, Rore.

      Croc, gator, it’s all the same – only the sauce changes. I accidentally ate alligator and found it dry. Skippy, with a little Old Bay and tenderizer, on a tortilla, I’ll give it a go.

      You just need Laur to wrestle him to the ground first.

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