Go Ask Daddy About Bullets, Hashtags and Illegal Blocking Schemes


photo credit: Nukamari via photopin cc
photo credit: Nukamari via photopin cc

We had to say goodbye to a furry member of the family recently.

I’ll go into it more soon, because Leo deserves his own post. He was Marie’s cat since she was 1. He taught her things I couldn’t on two legs. With his saintlike tolerance and scruffy fur, Leo rarely found reason to hiss and always found reason to show his love for Marie.

Part of the day the girls had to say goodbye to Leo, they worked on crafts, to get their minds off things, Grace said. Paint. Felt. Googly eyes.

Grace gave me a rock painted green and adorned with a felt tail and googly eyes. “I made this for you today, daddy,” she said. “It’s Chewbacca.”

EJP
EJP

Shh. It was Jabba the Hutt.

Sweet girl.

Here’s what the girls asked for this week:

1. When you shoot a pistol into the ground, how far down will the bullet go?

photo credit: Tigresblanco via photopin cc
photo credit: Tigresblanco via photopin cc

In 2012, a grandpa in New Hampshire got arrested after he fired his gun into the ground to scare a burglar. So, I don’t think I’ll try it.

Oh, and also, I don’t have a gun.

I can’t even find the Mythbusters answer to this.

Most Internet dialog about how far a bullet travels involves shots fired in the air. Or over distances. I’d want to try this on soft ground without rocks or fossils. How crappy would it be to shoot a triceratops skull?

I see warnings about fragments of awful things splintering off and hitting people. If that happened, we’d forget to measure how far the bullet went anyway.

And geez, how would you measure that?

2. Are your teeth pointy when they first come in?

baribusaNot super sharp, like a piranha’s, but sharp enough to get the job done.

I don’t remember you girls being particularly cranky when you were teething.

I do remember other parents making a huge deal about teething.

He won’t stop crying because he’s teething.

She has diarrhea and won’t stop crying because she’s teething.

He pokes other children in the eye and says the F word and won’t stop crying because he’s teething.

They call it eruption when your teeth come through the gums. How’s that for a visual? it seems like a super tooth, like a babirusa sports, would get the job done a lot faster. Without crankiness and diarrhea.

photo credit: cambodia4kidsorg via photopin cc
photo credit: cambodia4kidsorg via photopin cc

3. What’s the big deal about hashtags?

Hashtags are golden in social media. They allow you to call out to other social media users with a common theme, such as:

#MyTeethingBabyDrivesMeCrazy

#IAccidentallyShotMyFoot

#ChewbaccaIsntGreenButILoveYouGrace

They’re placed before a keyword to allow users to access other posts that also use that hashtag. That first one would call up tales of crankiness and diarrhea, presumably. The second? The police report for Spartanburg, S.C. #TheBestPartofSpartanburgIsGreenville

4. Can animals cry?

photo credit: swisscan via photopin cc
photo credit: swisscan via photopin cc

Yes.

And not just when they’re teething.

Raju is an elephant recently rescued from chains and spikes that bound his legs for 50 years. When the chains were off, he cried. Animal behaviorists believe mammals cry because of lack of contact comfort. Rescuers felt Raju cried because he knew he was finally free.

All it takes for an animal is to have a social nature, have eye anatomy like ours, and a brain strong enough to process emotions. #ElephantsAreCool

5. Can they just make a circle around a ball carrier?

photo credit: gbein83 via photopin cc
photo credit: gbein83 via photopin cc

Never too early to talk football, is it?

(On a side note … I might go on strike against the NFL this upcoming season. It would be horrible timing, because the Denver Broncos will be good again. But I have a problem with the league’s stance on head injures, past and present. I’ll go into it soon.)

When two or more of you are gathered to block for someone … you’ll get flagged. That’s not in the bible; it’s in the NFL rule book. Sort of.

Officials banned the flying wedge in 1893. The flying wedge is a devastating blocking scheme introduced in a Harvard-Yale game the season before. The tactic, used by marines and riot police, proved a bit too harsh for the late-19th-century gridiron.

It continued for decades. In 2009, the NFL banned the wedge, in which three or four players link together to block for a teammate. Players who tried to break a wedge block often wound up concussed, or worse.

Who needs that?

#DadsAgainstConcussedFootballPlayers

concussion quote

Advertisements

52 thoughts on “Go Ask Daddy About Bullets, Hashtags and Illegal Blocking Schemes

  1. I read about Raju! If I’m not mistaken, I think the part of the brain that processes emotions is actually larger in elephants than it is in humans… but I’m not sure. Don’t quote me on that. It’s a heartwarming story regardless. How old do elephants live to, I wonder?

    1. Raju’s all over the place. I wouldn’t doubt that about elephants … and I’ll believe you without even looking it up. I can’t imagine why he was bound up for 50 years anyway.

      The African elephant lives 60-70 years, according to Google. I don’t know what kind Raju is. But I know his next years will be better than the first 50.

  2. Ha, I am living proof on how educative your blog is. No, really! I can’t tell Star Wars from Star Trek, but thanks to your PURSE post I happen to know what Chewbacca looks like! Grace’s green one is mighty cute, though!
    So sorry to hear about Leo.
    I’m convinced that animals have feelings and experience joy and sadness just like the rest of us. I saw that Raju movie just the other day.
    #InTheFutureIWillBlameTeethingWheneverIAmCranky 😉

    1. Wow, see? It works! So long as I’ve brought one soul to Chewbacca, my life is complete. I love Grace’s gift. Hard.

      Thanks about Leo. He’s a sweet boy and I still look for him in his normal spots. He used to sleep at the top of the stairs. I presume he was looking out for the lot of us.

      I love the fact that people are adding hashtags to their comments today. #MyReadersRock

  3. From the mouth of babes. I once got “Do cats have goosebumps?” I wasn’t as cool as you, getting into all the research, I just said…”I don’t know.”

    1. You know what I do though sometimes? I jot them in a notebook and add them to a file and answer them in the blog and choose art for them, and I forget to actually answer the kid who asked them.

      You should compile a set of five and send them to me, when the kids ask, and I’ll write a Go Ask Daddy on your page.

      1. *snort, I’d believe that – the not answering the child, but letting the world know part. Sounds like something I would do.
        As for the list of five – Deal. I’ll be in touch.

  4. Your Chewbacca (I mean Jabba the Hut) is adorable! Sorry to hear about the loss of family cat! Love your post! Hugz and happy Friday! Lisa and Bear

  5. I’ll start at the end mate, it’s far too late for my brain. I was dropped on my head at 6 weeks old and it’s been downhill ever since. It’s so sad but animals do cry and not just from teething. My teeth are still giving me the sh….. diarrhoea after all these years. Had a crown re-fitted again today, I wonder how long it will be before I crush that one? Bullets? The softer the ground the deeper. I love the sound of ricocheting bullets in the morning. That Chewbacca is the coolest one I’ve seen all year.

    1. I don’t think my mom ate enough veggies when I was in utero, but that’s neither here nor there, mate. How are you crushing teeth, brother? I hope you’re not opening beer bottles with your molars. Leave that to the Germans.

      Chew-jabba, as I call him, rocks the house.

      1. Not enough veges eh? It could’ve been worse, maybe. Teeth crushing? I have psychogenic non epileptic seizures in my sleep, part of my PTSD. My jaw clenches really hard and I crack my molars. I’ve gone through 3 crowns in a year and a bottom molar is going to be replaced with an insert. They can keep that bottle opening technique, I knew a bloke who opened them using his eye socket, that’s creepy. Ah Chew-jabba, you cover all the bases there. Hmm, he does ROCK.

  6. So jealous that none of your girls were effected by teething. Let’s just say, we had our moments here, especially with Emma, who seriously was a misery (did I say that) for almost a year coming right off colic. So, yeah, not a fan of teething in the least and now our puppy is teething and gumming on everything she can get to here, too. Fun times, not! And so sorry about Leo – definitely thinking of you and the girls.

    1. They were lucky – or should I say, WE were lucky! I think colic strikes white babies more than Hispanic (or half Hispanic as it is with mine) kids.

      By the time the dog and kids are done teething, probably we grown ups will start losing teeth.

      Thanks about Leo. He was a good boy.

  7. Teething is no joke, dude! We were finished with teething for a few months and then last week when my child was screaming I saw another molar peeking through…I thought I had at least a few more months until they came in! Also, I think your Chewbacca looks awesome. #BravoGrace

    1. Do teething rings even work? Do teething rings even exist anymore? I bet Wookies don’t have teething. And Jabba didn’t even have teeth, I don’t think.

      But I’m pretty sure he had high cholesterol.

  8. As always, you totally cracked me up. I nearly spit out the chocolate chips I was sneaking for breakfast while I forced my kids to eat healthy scrambled eggs. Thanks for the laugh! #Don’tEatMomsChocolateOrYouWillDie

    1. I aim for consistency, Jaime! But when you’re talking about the loss of life for chocolate chips, that’s serious.

      Hey, when the kids are parents, they earn the right to sneak chocolate chips. #ParentsForChocolateChipRights

      By the way, I gave you a shoutout in a guest post this week for inspiring the topic. Did you get any clicks?

      1. Hey, that’s awesome! I have no idea. My house is crazy. I am so busy with all the kids home ALL day long! All I can do is eat chocolate chips and just stare at all the crazy stuff happening at my house.

        I have gotten some consistent traffic. I really appreciate it! I have been completely missing in action (in the blogger world) keeping all 9 kids alive, transitioning the ENTIRE freaking house to gluten free due to the other kids testing positive to gluten, taking a kid to the ER for stitches….Wine is gluten free, my friend.

  9. Love your blog, and I think I can address the bullet thing a bit. The short answer is…not very far. I witnessed an accidental discharge into an asphalt road one day, and the bullet pierced about an inch into the surface.
    Softer surfaces, like dirt or grass, and you might see deeper penetration, but I would bet that the total distance would be far less than a foot for two reasons. 1. Bullets are designed to travel through air into a target. Resistance in them from being shot into the ground or into water will slow their kinetic energy down drastically to the point where penetration will be negligible. 2. Most projectiles are designed to flatten out or break apart when they hit something, which will further detract from penetration, since energy will be dispersed upon their breaking up, and any ballistic characteristics will be eliminated once a solid core round starts to ‘mushroom’ or flatten out.
    I’m not a scientist by any means, but I’ve fired a few rounds in my time.
    So sorry about the loss of the cat. Losing a pet is tough at any age, made so much the worse when you’re young…although I DO love the Chewbacca the Hutt there…

    1. You, my friend, are an honorary coach daddy for the day. Awesome answer. I just couldn’t find a thing online. I had trouble with a few of them this week. Tough set.

      I think having a pet, even with the heartbreaking end, is good for a kid. You learn so much, and we can’t shield our kids from sorrow and heartbreak. We can hold their hand through it, though.

      And Chewbacca the Hutt is awesome, isn’t he?

      1. Absolutely true about the pet, if nothing else, pets provide life lessons straight through to the end. ..and I just wanted to let you know that after I posted the first comment, I was embarrassed over the fact that I had spelled ‘Hutt’ wrong by eliminating the second ‘t.’ I knew better too.

  10. I will ignore the parenting gaffe of not making sure the kids know the difference between their SW characters (and original trilogy too….oh, ok, fine I will still let it go) because it was so darn cute of her to give you that.

    I am sorry for the loss of Leo.

    I will definitely be on the lookout for your post on the NFL and the post-concussion syndrome debate. I remember when Ray Easterling took his life since he was local and then Junior Seau was a few weeks later.

    1. That’s the thing … if you could have seen her face, you’d have forgiven her if she’d called it Star Trek.

      Thanks about Leo … he’s definitely missed.

      This problem is too big in the NFL to ignore. Our childhood heroes are paying too great a price.

  11. Glad that adequatedad was able to help out on the bullet travel question – always good information to know “just in case.”
    Sorry about y’all’s cat – never easy.

    1. Absolutely – but as Emily points out, there’s a lot of factors to consider. In fact, I’m going to ask Grace for specifics.

      Thanks about Leo – the night I found him, he was about to become owl bait!

  12. Sorry about your loss of your furry friend. Those are always tough on the whole family.

    #SaveTheElephants

    To the bullet question…. I mean, there are just so man variables. What kind of substance are you shooting into? Hardwood floor? Grass? Concrete. #morespecificsneeded

    1. Thanks Emily. Lots of tears for three little girls.

      #LetsBeGoodToElephantsInTheFirstPlace

      (Thanks for tossing in a hashtag!)

      #EmilyRocks

      Yes, variables. When Grace gets out of the shower, I’ll ask her for the specific circumstance. Because really, jello and rubber would have very different results.

  13. I hate to hear that about your Leo. My heart goes out to your girls. They’ll never forget him. I’m a card-carrying member of the cat-lovers club so I feel their pain. On a happier note, it’s nice to see you let some daddy bloggers leave some comments finally. (Hope you know I’m only kidding.) #DadswelcomeatCoachDaddywhoknew

    1. Thanks Jennifer. The girls are going to make cement markers to honor him this weekend. It’s strange to not see him in his usual spots. He was our guardian.

      I never disallowed dad bloggers to comment, you know. They just didn’t used to come here. The web’s best moms and other women just happened to find me first.

  14. TOTALLY Jabba the Hutt! Oh man. And I’m an expert at what he looks like ever since that Princess Leia Halloween I had.
    I actually read this days ago but I’m so behind on my good blogs. I love the hashtags. I love the elephant story. May he have another 50 years, filled with peace and love.

  15. That story about the elephant brings me to tears….like Marley and Me and that Buzzfeed post about a dog’s last day of life. Anything animal related will usually get me. Like Leo…I’m so sorry.

    I love Chewbacca. I would like to call your rock Chewbacca, if it’s okay with you :).

    ‘He pokes other children in the eye and says the F word and won’t stop crying because he’s teething.’ Yeah. That was me…..not really, but it was super funny!!

    I’ve already read the football post because, as usual, I am catching up and willy nilly reading from my Bloglovin’ feed. I should catch up by Christmas!

    1. With animals, it’s like, did they ever ask for this kind of mistreatment? (Come to think of it, does anyone who is mistreated ask for it?)

      Grace gets all mad when I tell her it’s cute she thought that was Chewbacca, not Jabba. She feels she’s lost some valuable Star Wars cool points.

      I will take you willy nilly on my blog any day of the year, S-Ram. Any day of the year.

Say what you need to say

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s