We had to say goodbye to a furry member of the family recently.
I’ll go into it more soon, because Leo deserves his own post. He was Marie’s cat since she was 1. He taught her things I couldn’t on two legs. With his saintlike tolerance and scruffy fur, Leo rarely found reason to hiss and always found reason to show his love for Marie.
Part of the day the girls had to say goodbye to Leo, they worked on crafts, to get their minds off things, Grace said. Paint. Felt. Googly eyes.
Grace gave me a rock painted green and adorned with a felt tail and googly eyes. “I made this for you today, daddy,” she said. “It’s Chewbacca.”
Shh. It was Jabba the Hutt.
Here’s what the girls asked for this week:
1. When you shoot a pistol into the ground, how far down will the bullet go?
In 2012, a grandpa in New Hampshire got arrested after he fired his gun into the ground to scare a burglar. So, I don’t think I’ll try it.
Oh, and also, I don’t have a gun.
I can’t even find the Mythbusters answer to this.
Most Internet dialog about how far a bullet travels involves shots fired in the air. Or over distances. I’d want to try this on soft ground without rocks or fossils. How crappy would it be to shoot a triceratops skull?
I see warnings about fragments of awful things splintering off and hitting people. If that happened, we’d forget to measure how far the bullet went anyway.
And geez, how would you measure that?
2. Are your teeth pointy when they first come in?
I don’t remember you girls being particularly cranky when you were teething.
I do remember other parents making a huge deal about teething.
He won’t stop crying because he’s teething.
She has diarrhea and won’t stop crying because she’s teething.
He pokes other children in the eye and says the F word and won’t stop crying because he’s teething.
They call it eruption when your teeth come through the gums. How’s that for a visual? it seems like a super tooth, like a babirusa sports, would get the job done a lot faster. Without crankiness and diarrhea.
3. What’s the big deal about hashtags?
Hashtags are golden in social media. They allow you to call out to other social media users with a common theme, such as:
They’re placed before a keyword to allow users to access other posts that also use that hashtag. That first one would call up tales of crankiness and diarrhea, presumably. The second? The police report for Spartanburg, S.C. #TheBestPartofSpartanburgIsGreenville
4. Can animals cry?
And not just when they’re teething.
Raju is an elephant recently rescued from chains and spikes that bound his legs for 50 years. When the chains were off, he cried. Animal behaviorists believe mammals cry because of lack of contact comfort. Rescuers felt Raju cried because he knew he was finally free.
All it takes for an animal is to have a social nature, have eye anatomy like ours, and a brain strong enough to process emotions. #ElephantsAreCool
5. Can they just make a circle around a ball carrier?
Never too early to talk football, is it?
(On a side note … I might go on strike against the NFL this upcoming season. It would be horrible timing, because the Denver Broncos will be good again. But I have a problem with the league’s stance on head injures, past and present. I’ll go into it soon.)
When two or more of you are gathered to block for someone … you’ll get flagged. That’s not in the bible; it’s in the NFL rule book. Sort of.
Officials banned the flying wedge in 1893. The flying wedge is a devastating blocking scheme introduced in a Harvard-Yale game the season before. The tactic, used by marines and riot police, proved a bit too harsh for the late-19th-century gridiron.
It continued for decades. In 2009, the NFL banned the wedge, in which three or four players link together to block for a teammate. Players who tried to break a wedge block often wound up concussed, or worse.