How Our Kids Are Like Wildlife, in 6 Words

photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc
photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc

It’s a jungle out there.

Hell, it’s a jungle in here. Any parent will tell you that. In the course of a day, our kids can take many forms of wildlife: Docile as a fawn. Prickly as a porcupine. Lazy as a panda. And this is all before they have breakfast.

And we haven’t even gotten to the sounds and smells.

Every month, I compile a post called 6 Words. Hemingway inspired it when he said any story can be told in a six-word sentence. I ask bloggers, friends, strangers, and a few strange blogger friends to respond to a prompt.

July is National Wild About Wildlife Month. In six words, tell what wildlife your kids best resemble, and how.

The results were … wild.

What would your six words be?

photo credit: kibuyu via photopin cc
photo credit: kibuyu via photopin cc

1. My kids scream like insane wildebeests!

Janine H., from Confessions of a Mommyaholic blog

2. Like wild monkeys, they scale everything.

Tricia M., from Raising Humans blog

3. Wild monkeys. No cage. My house.

Meredith S., from The Mom of the Year blog

4. more food on floor than mouths.

Rory, from Time Out for Mom blog

5. Kids are like birds, always chirping.

Cynthia, from You Signed Up For What?! blog

6. offspring laugh like hyenas on gas.

beth k., from i didn’t have my glasses on … blog

photo credit: alumroot via photopin cc
photo credit: alumroot via photopin cc

7. My kids lie around like sloths.

Rebecca G., from Frugalista blog

8. My girls, flitting, fluttering social Butterflies.

Megan L., from Meaningful Mommy blog

9. Boys are monkeys, shrieking over toys.

Kim, from Protean Mom blog

10. Wildlife? This place is a ZOO!

Rabia L., from The Liebers blog

11. My daughters’ rooms would scare rattlesnakes.

Debbie, from Heartbeats ~ Soulstains blog

12. With toys, as territorial as lions.

Gina T., from Full of It blog

photo credit: kat+sam via photopin cc
photo credit: kat+sam via photopin cc

13. Night owls with equal parts vulture.

Kim S., from Co-pilot Mom blog

14. Kids to devices: Moths to flames.

Mel, from According to Mags blog

15. My girls cling like baby monkeys.

Kerri, from Undiagnosed but OK blog

16. Like parrots attempting to sing opera.

Nicola Y., from Nikki Young Writes blog

17. Potty training means pissing in yards.

Shay, from Trashy Blog

18. Toddler want a cracker? He parrots. 

Katie, from Pick Any Two blog

photo credit: Cayusa via photopin cc
photo credit: Cayusa via photopin cc

19. My boy: Boogie-boarding like a dolphin.

Norine M., from Science of Parenthood blog

20. She sleeps like a hibernating bear.

21. He’s as loyal as a Labrador.

Michele P. from Old Dog, New Tits blog

22. Bedtime brings opossum looking children (fakers!)

Rosie M., from Mail 4 Rosey blog

23. Like fish.  Bubbles!  Hello new friend.

Louise H., from Baby Gates Down blog

24. Pitter patter? More like elephant herd.

Joey R., from Big Teeth Clouds blog

photo credit: Smithsonian's National Zoo via photopin cc
photo credit: Smithsonian’s National Zoo via photopin cc

25. My sons wrestle like bear cubs!

Marie, from Normal Everyday Life blog

26. Moods change faster than cheetahs run.

Lisa, from The Golden Spoons blog

27.  Toddlers are worse than drunk monkeys!

Tarana K., from Sand in My Toes blog

28. My kids sleep more than sloths.

Dana H., from Kiss My List blog

29. My boys are dirtier than pigs.

Robin, from Masshole Mommy blog

30. Bucking broncos, laughing hyenas, screaming banshees.

Rachael, of Three Boys and a Mom blog

photo credit: mizmak via photopin cc
photo credit: mizmak via photopin cc

31. Daughters, like hippos, cute but volatile!

Georgia W., of Oatmeal Smiles blog

32. Hunter is buff like a buffalo.

Kim T., of Day with KT blog

33. Reiko hugs like a giant panda!

Rea A., of REAlity Bites blog

34. My toddler sleeps like a shark.

Caroline, of Fit Pink Mom blog

35. Dogs, kids, can’t pick up shit.

Alyson, of The Shitastrophy blog

36. Asleep, she hoots like an owl.

Tamara B., of Tamara Camera blog 

photo credit: Diego J. Lizcano via photopin cc
photo credit: Diego J. Lizcano via photopin cc

37. My kids: louder than howler monkeys.

Lisa, from Notes from the Shallow End blog

38. Cantankerous, ravenous grizzlies awakening in spring.

Nicole G., of Work In Sweats Mama blog

39. My kids devour pizza like pack wolves.

Eli P., of Coach Daddy blog

chimp quote


  1. Good one! So many interesting answers and can definitely attest to some. Haha. Kids can be wild!!

    1. Thanks Rea. I think we covered all of the animal kingdom, short of llamas, horseshoe crabs and whooping cranes. Wildlife ain’t got nothin on our kids.

  2. Some great six word stories here Mate. I can’t even think one up right now though.

  3. Eli, I have loved each month being a part of so far, but I think this may very well be my favorite of them all so far! Seriously, so much fun and huge thank you again for letting me be a part of this!!! 🙂

  4. yes, it’s clear these are all parents. i loved the ‘yard pissing’ and ‘room like a rattlesnake’s’ so much. thanks for including me once again )

    1. I’m heading over to find your blog, ksbeth, because I’m so excited that you noticed my contribution. Kinda made my morning…along with my kids sleeping in (They’re STILL ASLEEP!) and this quiet cup of coffee. 🙂

  5. This seriously made me laugh out loud. So glad you started with Janine’s! All I could think of “She posts such sweet pictures of her cute girls doing things like Frozen princess parties… No way they’re wildebeests!” haha… I love Katie’s as well… “I want cracker” is something I hear about 100x a day. Fabulous 🙂

    1. Mission accomplished, then. Janine got her response in like 17 seconds. Now we know there are six degrees (or less) between Elsa and wildebeests.

      It goes from wanting a cracker to wanting crab legs within 13 years, goes my experience. Be ready!

  6. Perfect. Above all, makes me feel less alone in the “wildlife refuge” which has become my house…thanks, Eli and friends! Love these posts!

    1. Thanks for joining the tribe, Tarana. If anyone here doesn’t know you yet, I hope they’ll check out your blog.

      If science wants to find the ‘missing link,’ it can be found in any one of our houses, during the day, all summer.

  7. Having spent yesterday babysitting my two-year-old granddaughter and her three and a half year old brother, I can say without a shadow of doubt that children are terrorists when it comes to toys — even when they have the identical toy. These two are a joy to look after, and ninety percent of the time, all you hear is giggles and laughter, but they know exactly how to push each other’s buttons, and when they do… 🙂

    1. “Children are terrorists with their toys” would have been perfect, Lyn! And i think many parents here would swap their mix for your 90/10 any day of the week!

  8. Love it! So many options…Hamster’s cage cleaner than son’s apartment? While our home can be a jungle, I like my sons’ nicknames: Little Guy is my “Snuggle Kitty” and Big Guy is my “funny bunny”! Ah…

  9. Our kids are crazy and wild 🙂 Thank you for giving me a good laugh. I love your 6 word sentences!

  10. Love all of these. I especially love the fact that some animals show up again and again…I guess we have similar beasts in our homes! Thanks so much for including me!

    1. Not a bad herd here, eh Katie? We’re heavy on primates, Tarana points out. Glad you could join us! Probably many of my readers know you, but those who don’t … I hope they’ll check you out.

  11. I read this over breakfast this morning. Maybe I snorted aloud or something. “Reading, she snorted like a pig.”
    These are some true winners. I actually walked by the kids’ bedroom minutes ago, hoping to hear some hooting.
    I did hear some purring!

    1. There should be a snort warning on some blogs, right? we do specialize in winners around here, yours included. Purring is far from the worst noise you can hear from the kids’ room!

  12. These are hilarious! Thank you so much for inviting me to contribute. Let me know next month’s theme soon so I “can start mulling on it now.” Get it? That last part was six words…holy shit, I’m trying too hard, aren’t I? 🙂

    1. They really bring it for this one, Shay. Glad you got in the game this time. I’ll send you an email with the next prompt … just came up with it! It’ll give you plenty of time to get at least one bad word in it.

      You’re not trying too hard – you’re just become indoctrinated. You’ll start thinking in six words. That was a six-word sentence, by the way.

  13. OMG – I’m dying over the “drunk monkeys” and “can’t pick up shit” ones. I think that about sums it up for me. Another stellar outing everyone. Take a bow!

  14. Sounds like we’d all make excellent zookeepers! At what age do the kids become civilized? I’ll probably miss it when they do. 🙂 Great post, thanks for including me!

    1. We already are, Marie. I’m still waiting for civility to strike … and my oldest is 16. I’m 42 and still waiting for it for myself. Glad you were along for the ride!

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