Guest Post: Bacon from Pig Life on La Vida Chancho


CGP art
CGP art

Ok, so I have done my fair share of guest posts in my day and even guest posted on Eli’s Coach Daddy blog in the past myself, here.

However, I have never quite guested as the lead in for a much bigger and grander character in my life.

Yet, when Eli asked me to indeed guest pitch hit for him on his week off, I just couldn’t say no.  First off, I adore him so and would do anything for the man (come on, who wouldn’t?).

Second, I also just enjoy his blog to the heavens.  It is one of the first I read on my morning blog reading quest, because his blog is witty, clever and never misses a beat for both men and women alike!

So, this was a no brainer to me – even though I knew I had mighty big shoes to fill even though my feet are a tiny size 6!

But when he sent me the copy of who or rather what I would be the lead-in, I admit I was left speechless and then thought, “How can I do this blogger justice in introducing them here for all to read today?”

CGP
CGP

For one thing, this brought back some deep seeded childhood memories of other talking animals (yes I said talking animals – and if you are with me so far, I promise you are going to want to stick around for this), such as the most famous being Mister Ed (you know you are humming the song now – admit it)!

But still as I read this article, which I promise you are about to read and love as much as I did, I couldn’t help but love the Dog with a Blog reference (what can I say the show is a huge hit in my house with two girls, who just are crazy-insane for Stan the wacky, blogging dog) and also feel right at home since we just recently added a new pet to our home in the form of our almost 5 month old puppy, Elsa (yes if you still don’t know my blog or me by now – it is none other then Janine from Confessions of a Mommyaholic).

Ok, I admit my girls are just a bit Frozen obsessed, but still I think they would go bonkers for Bacon Thompson of My Life as a Pig and think you will, too.

If you don’t believe me, read on to find out just how lovable the pig is now!

Huge thanks again for wanting me to fill in for you!!! 🙂

Thanks,

Janine

bacon1

 My Life as a Pig

by Bacon Thompson

Really, this is all about me. This is all about my life as an exceptional miniature pot-bellied pig. I left home when I was three weeks young to live with my humans. You see, I was what they called a runt. Runts have a hard life on the farm and I knew I had to make a better life for myself. I got my picture out there and my adopted mom saw it. I like to let her think she adopted me but really it’s the other way around. I adopted her. In fact, the first time we saw each other in real life, I cuddled right up to her neck and went to sleep. I felt safe. I felt well “at home”. That’s the day my life started and there’s been no looking back since that day.

Saying that I hit the jackpot here at the Hotel Thompson is an understatement. I got my own bedroom, my own bed, my own television, my own laptop and room service. Heck, for a long time I thought this was how all of the other pigs lived! But also with the Hotel Thompson, there were two purr things that became my brother and sister. Hemingway, Hemi for short, is a polydactyl cat with extra toes on his front paws. They kind of look like baseball mittens – snorts. Trust me on this – he knows how to use those big paws of his. He’s forever whacking me on my butt to remind me who is the boss here.  Then there’s Mouse Girl. She does not have extra toes but she is B.I.G. She is a Maine Coon purr thing. She’s almost the same size of me! Of course, I’m a solid 45-pound extraordinary piglet while she is just 25 pounds of fluff – but it makes her look huge.

When I came to the Hotel Thompson, I did not know what that laptop was in my bedroom. I started pounding at it and found this wonderful thing called the internet. That opened up an entirely new door. On my television in my bedroom, I saw this show called Dog with a Blog. I thought to myself, “Self, why can’t you be a Hog with a Blog?” Next thing you knew, my blog got started.

In the beginning, everything was new to me but I slowly adjusted. My typing improved. I’m glad to say that these days I can type 25 hpm (hooves per minute). It has taken time but I have made a lots of friends from all over the world. My interests have evolved and I like to think I have as well. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of discussing my life here at the Hotel Thompson. It’s one of definite privilege. I have learned that. My adopted mommy – well she’s the best. Do you know to this day, she still tucks me in at night in my toddler bed and tells me a bedtime story? Sometimes if I’m lucky, she will even lay down with me and watch a quick cartoon with me until I drift off to sleep. I’m a little spoiled that way.

You probably think it is ‘weird’ to have an inside pig, right?  Well it’s not. In fact, we are really clean animals. I don’t like to be dirty. I don’t like a few things. One of them, don’t laugh now, is having grass touch my hooves. Hey pal, I see you laughing. It’s a texture thing. It feels gross. That is why I’m completely trained to use the facilities inside of the Hotel Thompson. Mommy has me a wee-wee pad right in my bedroom and I know how to use it – snorts. I do go outside though. It is a little walk on concrete to mom’s little Smart car she calls Albert. There’s a place in the back hutch area that is mine. I sit back there as mom spins around town. You should see me at red lights snorting to people. They don’t know what to do really. Point fingers because mom’s car is as big as a Matchbox toy car or laugh because of the silly entertaining pig in the back window. It’s a toss up really. But if you ever see a blue Smart car with a piggy snorting in the back, beep your horn and say hey. I’ll wave my hoof back at you.

Life here does keep my hooves full. I have the purr things to tend with. I have mommy but she’s good. I have her wrapped around these hooves of power. Then there’s daddy. That’s where it gets fun. We have a hate/love relationship. He takes care of me during the day and it’s my job to make sure he stays on schedule – snorts. I can’t have him lagging behind on his chores now can I? There’s nothing like sneaking up behind him and then snorting or squealing to the high heavens. For a guy of his size, he can jump pretty high.  And then there’s the I’m-excited-I-didn’t-see-you-there look I give him when I step on his toes with my hooves… accidentally of course. Sometimes when mommy gets home, he’s ready for Calgon to take him away. On those days, I feel my job is complete.

bacon2

I don’t want you to think I’m hard to take care of because I’m not. Give me some food, my television and laptop and I can keep myself entertained for hours at a time. Heck at times, mommy sneaks me into her and dads big bed, the Select Comfort. First, I have to tell you that my number on the Select Comfort is a 65, right on mom’s side. Dad’s side is too hard for my back. So I do what I do best. I steal his blankets and roll on mom’s side. Nothing like daddy waking up to hear me snoring and giving me kiss on the snout thinking its mommy. That’s always a fun day – snorts.

I hope you learned something about this little oinker. We are very smart. We also have a great sense of humor as I hope you can tell. We can also be bought by treats into doing just about anything. So the next time you are stuck in traffic and you see a little blue Smart car, look in the back for me. I may be waving back at you 🙂

From Bacon who is *always* looking for adventure!

pig quote

Advertisements

83 Replies to “Guest Post: Bacon from Pig Life on La Vida Chancho”

  1. That is the sweetest story!! What a nice home you have got at that Thompson Hotel! Makes me want to call and make a reservation, too!
    And you’re doing such a good job, too, exhausting Daddy so he is ready to be taken away by Calgon, hahaha. For some reason those chores must really be harder for Daddies than Mommies.
    Now one thing, don’t let the purr things get to you, OK? Stand tall!

      1. Snorts to ya’ll my new friends! Janine thanks so much for the lead in on my story. I really appreciate it! And thanks to both of ya’ll for the kind comments. I am a little spoiled oinker. I’m good with that – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  2. Even a pig’s gotta have a number for proper sleeping, lol. And poor piggy probably shuddered at that bacon intro (over at Janine’s place)! Waving hi to both Coach and Janine. 🙂

    1. Snorts my friend. Sleep is right up there with food on my list. You don’t want me to wake up grumpy, right? I slide into the big bed every chance I can get and wiggled down for a good nap. And don’t forget my pillow. Gotta have a nice pillow. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  3. Reblogged this on Piglove and commented:
    Several months ago, my friend asked me to write up an article to guest post on his blog. Of course, this little piggy accepted the challenge. I mean hey – I ❤ to write and make peeps laugh… I'm all in with four hooves. My friends, you have to check out his blog today – my article is posted on his page! It was great fun – and hey you might even learn something new about me – it could happen – squeals. Tell him that Bacon sent you to his blog. ❤ my friends. XOXO – Bacon
    And P.S. Coach Daddy – Thanks for the great opportunity – I had the best of times. Just wait until I read this to daddy tonight – snorts.

  4. How sweet and adorable. This makes me think my cat needs a little pot-bellied companion (and I’m sure my 9-month-old would go CRAZY if there were one roaming our house!) Stopping by from Janine’s!

    1. Snorticles. I’m fun… well at least I like to think I am. Once you get past me walking around grunting and snorting through the front room, you’ll see how accepting I am. Of course, I can be what did my mom call it – – pig headed at times. Yeah, that was it. Snorts – ME pig headed. Really mom? XOXO – Bacon

  5. Bacon you did a fantabulous job filling in here…..of course I know all the “inside scoop” on how you came to the Hotel Thompson and who is REALLY in charge there but now a bunch of new peeps do too!!

    Hugs, Cousin Sam

  6. Janine,

    I am speechless and cannot stop laughing. This cracks me up. My special needs son, Caleb, is standing beside me and will not let me move from the picture of the pig in the bed. He is cracking up too. Thanks for making out day!
    Diane Roark

    1. aaww – ya’ll are all so kind to this little oinker. I really appreciate that so very much! Ya’ll touched ME today as well – heart swelling.. oinks and snorts. XOXO – Bacon

    1. Hey brother! Too bad that pond is between us…. if it wasn’t I would SO come over , pick you up and go cruising! Just two brothers hanging out in a Smart car – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  7. HaHa – so much fun!!! I’m thinking that a pig’s life (or at least Bacon Thompson’s life) sounds pretty dang good- simple with the necessities!!!!

    1. I’m just a simple piggy with simple needs. Just give me a television with cable and my lap top. I’m good for entertainment. Of course if you want to throw in a cheese pizza I would be even better 🙂 XOXO – Bacon

  8. You did it, Janine. So well done. And I’m a size 6 in shoes too!
    And Bacon, you are SO much better than Dog With a Blog. My daughter left the Disney Channel on too long and it came on once. Shudder.
    You’re adorable and misunderstood. I want one of you.

  9. OMG I love it and love how you guys did the lead-ins, the back-and-forths, and all of it!!! Bacon is AWESOME and what an adorable story!!! I love love it!!!

  10. Aaww. Thanks all of my new friends. I had a great time oinking with everyone today. Be sure to come visit me soon. I’ll gurantee to make you snort at least once. XOXO – Bacon

  11. Ah Janine, a porcine parody worthy of Eli himself. Piglets are without doubt one of nature’s cuties. It’s when they become huge and, hmm, piggish that they bother me. Hams and chops tend to float around in my thoughts, like a Porky Pig cartoon. Don’t forget when you take bacon out in the sun you’ll need to rub some oinkment on his back. You don’t want his skin to get all that crackling on it.
    Cheers
    Laurie.

    1. Snorts or should I squeal and run away to hide my friend? I’m a miniature pot bellied pig – this is as big as I will get. I’ll be 4 years young next month. I’m like having a forever child living in the house – well that’s what mommy says. As far as daddy goes, you would like him. He measures my size in how many biscuits he thinks I might make – the nerve! Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

      1. I’ve seen your distant cousin, the Vietnamese potbelly pig. Bacon old son, they’re huge. I do hope you stay cuddly and cute, oh and keep watching re runs of Babe, there may be an acting career ahead for you. Don’t annoy daddy, Bacon and watch out when he starts measuring the oven after measuring you. Lots of luck.
        Laurie.

      2. Snorts – great advice my friend – great advice indeed. I really do *try* not to annoy daddy – perhaps he should take your advice too – snorts. Don’t tell him – I do love him though all the way down to my piggy heart. XOXO – Bacon

      3. Another great piece of advice would be to avoid any kissing with daddy, even if unintentional. We don’t want to give him anymore reasons to be annoyed with you. 🙂

      4. I hope you read this very, very carefully Bacon, what I am going to write is what’s called a cautionary tale. Not a wiggly piggly tail like yours but a story that will make you think. Once upon a time in a place not far from here, a man and his wife bred pigs. When the pigs grew up a man came with a truck and took them to… well they went on a road trip. Now this man and wife were very kind people and one of their pigs didn’t grow much at all. So they adopted him and called him Huffy and he had the run of the piggery. He would follow them to the house and sit outside. Then go for walks in the paddock and also go with them to feed the other pigs. One sad day they left him in his little pen while they went out. The man with his truck came late that night and took some lucky pigs on a road trip. The next day the man and his wife went over to the pens and called out for Huffy. He didn’t come running out huffing and puffing. They searched everywhere then they found the waybill nailed to the door. The man had taken 51 pigs instead of 50. Huffy, their little adopted pig went on a road trip and never came home. The man and his wife were so sad, they loved Huffy and never adopted another pig again.
        The end.
        (True story)

      5. Aaww. That is so very sad indeed! That poor family and poor Huffy! I will never take my privileged life for granted ever. XOXO – Bacon

      1. Don’t let these hooves fool you my friends. I’m up to 25hpm (hooves per minute) these days. You know what they say practice, practice and more practice. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  12. Bacon you are just the bestest pig!! I howled with laughter over the daddy kssing Mommy only to discover he was kissing you!!! Too funny 🙂
    I had Husky/Shepherd dog who did the same thing….Hubby has a moustache & beard…*ahem* all I can sy is sometimes it was hard to tell….
    Love Sherri-Ellen & Nylablue too xxx

    1. Snorts my sweet purr girlfriend! That is too funny. Your poor mom – it’s always a hoot to read that! Next time though, I think I will slip daddy some tongue just so he knows it’s me and not mommy. Won’t that be a snort of a good time?! XOXO – Bacon

  13. MOL 😉 Oh Bacon DAT wuud bee so funny! Mum told me she ended up wif poochie tongue n dat shure woke her up quick like….we 4 leggedz are so full of sirprizez!
    Lub Nylablue xxxx

  14. Hilarious! Maybe we should add a little pig buddy for our farm over here! My favorite book when I was a kid was Pig in the Parlor…it was a book about a pet pig. And my husband’s roommate after college had a pet pig too. Of course they named it after another roommate’s girlfriend (that they didn’t like) and that relationship didn’t last long when she found out. The pig was adorable though.

Say what you need to say

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s