Ok, so I have done my fair share of guest posts in my day and even guest posted on Eli’s Coach Daddy blog in the past myself, here.
However, I have never quite guested as the lead in for a much bigger and grander character in my life.
Yet, when Eli asked me to indeed guest pitch hit for him on his week off, I just couldn’t say no. First off, I adore him so and would do anything for the man (come on, who wouldn’t?).
Second, I also just enjoy his blog to the heavens. It is one of the first I read on my morning blog reading quest, because his blog is witty, clever and never misses a beat for both men and women alike!
So, this was a no brainer to me – even though I knew I had mighty big shoes to fill even though my feet are a tiny size 6!
But when he sent me the copy of who or rather what I would be the lead-in, I admit I was left speechless and then thought, “How can I do this blogger justice in introducing them here for all to read today?”
For one thing, this brought back some deep seeded childhood memories of other talking animals (yes I said talking animals – and if you are with me so far, I promise you are going to want to stick around for this), such as the most famous being Mister Ed (you know you are humming the song now – admit it)!
But still as I read this article, which I promise you are about to read and love as much as I did, I couldn’t help but love the Dog with a Blog reference (what can I say the show is a huge hit in my house with two girls, who just are crazy-insane for Stan the wacky, blogging dog) and also feel right at home since we just recently added a new pet to our home in the form of our almost 5 month old puppy, Elsa (yes if you still don’t know my blog or me by now – it is none other then Janine from Confessions of a Mommyaholic).
Ok, I admit my girls are just a bit Frozen obsessed, but still I think they would go bonkers for Bacon Thompson of My Life as a Pig and think you will, too.
If you don’t believe me, read on to find out just how lovable the pig is now!
Huge thanks again for wanting me to fill in for you!!! 🙂
My Life as a Pig
by Bacon Thompson
Really, this is all about me. This is all about my life as an exceptional miniature pot-bellied pig. I left home when I was three weeks young to live with my humans. You see, I was what they called a runt. Runts have a hard life on the farm and I knew I had to make a better life for myself. I got my picture out there and my adopted mom saw it. I like to let her think she adopted me but really it’s the other way around. I adopted her. In fact, the first time we saw each other in real life, I cuddled right up to her neck and went to sleep. I felt safe. I felt well “at home”. That’s the day my life started and there’s been no looking back since that day.
Saying that I hit the jackpot here at the Hotel Thompson is an understatement. I got my own bedroom, my own bed, my own television, my own laptop and room service. Heck, for a long time I thought this was how all of the other pigs lived! But also with the Hotel Thompson, there were two purr things that became my brother and sister. Hemingway, Hemi for short, is a polydactyl cat with extra toes on his front paws. They kind of look like baseball mittens – snorts. Trust me on this – he knows how to use those big paws of his. He’s forever whacking me on my butt to remind me who is the boss here. Then there’s Mouse Girl. She does not have extra toes but she is B.I.G. She is a Maine Coon purr thing. She’s almost the same size of me! Of course, I’m a solid 45-pound extraordinary piglet while she is just 25 pounds of fluff – but it makes her look huge.
When I came to the Hotel Thompson, I did not know what that laptop was in my bedroom. I started pounding at it and found this wonderful thing called the internet. That opened up an entirely new door. On my television in my bedroom, I saw this show called Dog with a Blog. I thought to myself, “Self, why can’t you be a Hog with a Blog?” Next thing you knew, my blog got started.
In the beginning, everything was new to me but I slowly adjusted. My typing improved. I’m glad to say that these days I can type 25 hpm (hooves per minute). It has taken time but I have made a lots of friends from all over the world. My interests have evolved and I like to think I have as well. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of discussing my life here at the Hotel Thompson. It’s one of definite privilege. I have learned that. My adopted mommy – well she’s the best. Do you know to this day, she still tucks me in at night in my toddler bed and tells me a bedtime story? Sometimes if I’m lucky, she will even lay down with me and watch a quick cartoon with me until I drift off to sleep. I’m a little spoiled that way.
You probably think it is ‘weird’ to have an inside pig, right? Well it’s not. In fact, we are really clean animals. I don’t like to be dirty. I don’t like a few things. One of them, don’t laugh now, is having grass touch my hooves. Hey pal, I see you laughing. It’s a texture thing. It feels gross. That is why I’m completely trained to use the facilities inside of the Hotel Thompson. Mommy has me a wee-wee pad right in my bedroom and I know how to use it – snorts. I do go outside though. It is a little walk on concrete to mom’s little Smart car she calls Albert. There’s a place in the back hutch area that is mine. I sit back there as mom spins around town. You should see me at red lights snorting to people. They don’t know what to do really. Point fingers because mom’s car is as big as a Matchbox toy car or laugh because of the silly entertaining pig in the back window. It’s a toss up really. But if you ever see a blue Smart car with a piggy snorting in the back, beep your horn and say hey. I’ll wave my hoof back at you.
Life here does keep my hooves full. I have the purr things to tend with. I have mommy but she’s good. I have her wrapped around these hooves of power. Then there’s daddy. That’s where it gets fun. We have a hate/love relationship. He takes care of me during the day and it’s my job to make sure he stays on schedule – snorts. I can’t have him lagging behind on his chores now can I? There’s nothing like sneaking up behind him and then snorting or squealing to the high heavens. For a guy of his size, he can jump pretty high. And then there’s the I’m-excited-I-didn’t-see-you-there look I give him when I step on his toes with my hooves… accidentally of course. Sometimes when mommy gets home, he’s ready for Calgon to take him away. On those days, I feel my job is complete.
I don’t want you to think I’m hard to take care of because I’m not. Give me some food, my television and laptop and I can keep myself entertained for hours at a time. Heck at times, mommy sneaks me into her and dads big bed, the Select Comfort. First, I have to tell you that my number on the Select Comfort is a 65, right on mom’s side. Dad’s side is too hard for my back. So I do what I do best. I steal his blankets and roll on mom’s side. Nothing like daddy waking up to hear me snoring and giving me kiss on the snout thinking its mommy. That’s always a fun day – snorts.
I hope you learned something about this little oinker. We are very smart. We also have a great sense of humor as I hope you can tell. We can also be bought by treats into doing just about anything. So the next time you are stuck in traffic and you see a little blue Smart car, look in the back for me. I may be waving back at you 🙂
From Bacon who is *always* looking for adventure!