Go Ask Daddy About Spidey Snot, Circular Mysteries and Mentos Messes

photo credit: hugojcardoso via photopin cc
photo credit: hugojcardoso via photopin cc

Rabia Lieber: Solutions for America.

OK, so maybe the author of the popular blog The Lieber Family isn’t running for U.S. Senate, but maybe she should. She’s a Coach Daddy loyalist, and an innovator. She happened upon the blog recently and suggested I try something new for Go Ask Daddy.

“Awesome info!!,” Rabia’s comment said. “Next you need to do the Go Ask Daddy: 3 Truths and a Lie version. Your actual answers are so witty, I’d love to see you make one up completely and try to pull it off!” So, let’s do it.

Only Go Ask Daddy is five questions, so we’ll go four truths, one lie.

Did you know it used to be Five for Friday: Go Ask Daddy About … ? There was a blog called Krafty Kat that had a Five for Friday feature, and I ganked it.

True story.

But one of these is not true. Can you tell which one?

1.     What happens if Spider Man sneezes?

photo credit: Martin Whitmore via photopin cc
photo credit: Martin Whitmore via photopin cc

I tried to research this on sneezefetishforum.org – but my job’s firewall blocked it.

White Tiger, a SHIELD trainee, caught a cold after Spider Man sneezed. Take a close look at Peter Parker’s spider suit. There are no nose holes in the mask, so a sneeze could be an explosive affair.

A Quora.com user asked recently what happens when Spider Man farts in his suit.

I’m not checking for those holes, Holmes.

2. What’s the difference between boiling hot and cold water?

photo credit: @Doug88888 via photopin cc
photo credit: @Doug88888 via photopin cc

There’s a big difference – they didn’t do the boiling-hot pot of water challenge for ALS.

The first difference is temperature, of course. Hot water in my green tea, cold water in my energy powder drink, please. Molecules in hot water move faster than those in cold.

Hot water will also evaporate quicker. It’s more likely those fast-moving molecules will break loose and turn into gas.

And not Spider Man-induced gas, either.

3. Who makes crop circles?

photo credit: frankdasilva via photopin cc
photo credit: frankdasilva via photopin cc

I suspect Rabia’s children of cutting huge patterns into fields and rousing public suspicion.

Some call them alien art. (Wait, are we allowed to say ‘alien’?) Others say they just happen.

Or, they’re just a hoax, like intelligent dodgers fans or well-written Disney Kids shows. Fungi can make crops die in patterns. So too can Australian wallabies in opium poppy fields. They eat the opium, get high, and spin around in circles. Then there are ball lightning or freak tornadoes to consider.

Ancient people blamed the Mowing Devil or a dozen princesses dressed as swans.

Still others blame George W. Bush.

4. Can you get prescription swimming goggles?

photo credit: Tormod Ulsberg via photopin cc
photo credit: Tormod Ulsberg via photopin cc

A scrappy kid I went to school with named Teddy Young had a pair.

He’d bust 54 pairs of glasses every school year. That’s a result of heady play on the basketball court and kamikaze tendencies on the playground. Finally, his mama bought him a pair of brown two-tone glasses in flexible plastic. Dude made squints look like Channing Tatum.

Oh, but swimming goggles.

Prescription goggles have special lenses called diopters. They’re not as personalized as prescription glasses.

But they’ll allow you to tell the difference between a diving stick and a mom’s big toe. You have to know your prescription numbers, then use this formula: ½ of the cylinder + sphere = diopter strength

And you can get them at Walmart!

5. Does it matter if you use Coke or Diet Coke for the Mentos experiment?

photo credit: Tina Vega via photopin cc
photo credit: Tina Vega via photopin cc

The Mentos experiment – stellar for kids science shows and a controlled classroom environment.

When kids try and do it at home? It just pisses a parent off.

Thing is, you must use Diet Coke for this experiment. The hydrogenated coconut oil in Mentos interacts with caramel E150d to produce the geyser of fun. Regular coke has caramel E150e, which is a molecular variant of caramel E150d.

Combined with hydrogenated coconut oil, it produces irdnosphopine. That’s a common ingredient in Australian vegemite manufactured after 1996. OSHA banned it in North America.

I know, because I read about it on Krafty Kat’s blog.

So … can you spot the lie?

truth quote

34 thoughts on “Go Ask Daddy About Spidey Snot, Circular Mysteries and Mentos Messes

  1. I don’t know which one is the truth and which one isn’t but do admit boiling hot water would have totally brought a whole new level to the ALS challenge playing field! Hey I am just saying 😉

    1. I don’t know … CAN you, Ginny? You’ll find out, next week. Walmart does sell ammo and tropical fish. They probably sell vasectomies, but I’ve not been down that aisle.

  2. Hm…I’m way to gullible to pick out the lie. But I’m going to go with #3. I know three others are true and the Spider Man one is just kind of irrelevant since he’s fictional to begin with. But then again, so are crop circles, no? 🙂

    1. If I could have found a way to pick out the lies, I’d be much better off my now! You’d be surprised how much discourse exists online for a fictional character’s bodily functions.

      This post is wrought with mystery – or at least, riddled with confusion. It’s hard to tell.

      1. That’s mildly disturbing, I think…that someone out there has that much to say about fictional characters’ bodily functions. Or that any of the rest of us are interested enough to read it!

      2. The fact that a lot of this exists on the Internet dilutes the disturbing so much that it’s all getting mild. If it weren’t for a kid’s pondering about a superhero mask …

  3. I don’t know which is the lie, but I know you can get prescription goggles (no, I don’t have them, thank you) . Just not sure if they actually asked that or not…

  4. I think you’re pullin’ our chain on the crop circles. Everybody who’s seen Mater’s Tall Tales knows that it’s Mater’s buddy, Mator, who makes the crop circles. 😀

    Okay, fine… I’m too tired and too distracted by the kids to think *too* clearly today. I’m sticking with my Mater defense.

    1. That crop circles stuff is out of control, isn’t it Kim? I aged out of the Cars movies, so I’m at a loss. My last cartoon car was Hong Kong Phooey’s. (OK, maybe that’s a stretch).

      We should make my kids babysit your kids and get everyone together for nachos.

    2. LOL – it IS Mater’s buddy Mator! I just saw that with my Kidzilla last night. That’s hysterical!

  5. I don’t even know what crop circles are so I’m going with that one!! Although I don’t know much about the whole Spider Man sneezing thing either.

    1. This is precisely why we should listen to the questions kids ask and expand our horizons. Ever since I’ve begun the Go Ask Daddy series, my IQ has risen almost half a point, and I don’t mouth words when I read hardly no more.

  6. Hmmm….I may need to plead the 5th here. But, I’m going out on a limb and picking the crop circles. My dad and his brothers have swathers and soybean fields…coincidence? I think not 🙂

    1. This ain’t easy, is it? I’ll reveal the lie on Monday. Maybe your dad and uncles are responsible for global warming, too! Oh, and Alabama losing in football, let’s not forget.

      How ’bout them Royals, by the way?

      1. I’d say that I’m already working on my Hunter Pence signs….but that is waaaay bad luck.
        Looking forward to Monday!
        Always love reading your words, Eli!

  7. I blamed George W. Bush when I got locked out of my car this morning. True story!
    Also. I want to be like a wallaby. That sounds like fun. When can I go?
    I usually do five for three truths and two lies. I like mixing it up like that.
    I think/hope the crop circles one is true. I think the Spiderman one is a bold-faced lie. I do.

    1. Today was George Will’s fault, clearly.

      You know who probably has photos of wallabies making mischief? Laurie.

      Who knows, T-Bow – maybe I also have two lies in here.

      Even Spider Man has boogers. I can attest to this, being the Spider Man of male bloggers.

  8. I know you can get prescription goggles – I just don’t know if you can get them at Walmart specifically. hhhhmmmm, tricky. Now I know I have used regular Coke for that mentos experiment, and it technically “worked” — but you don’t really get an explosion per say. more like a bubbling over effect. I know my daughter sneezes in her brother’s Spidey costume – that’s why he stopped wearing it. 🙂

    1. It just occurred to me I never revealed the untruth! It was the Mentos. It was the Mentos! It doesn’t matter if you use diet or regular Coke.

      At least it was just a sneeze.

Say what you need to say

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.