Guest Post: Brittnei of Homemaking With Style, on If I Had a Daughter


photo credit: number657 via photopin cc
photo credit: number657 via photopin cc

Girls are all I know.

That’s not a statement about my orientation. It’s reality, as a dad. It’s been my fate, and I’ve loved it. I don’t think any man is ready to become a girl dad. It just happens. You hang on, and you grow into the job.

Many of you know today’s guest poster – Brittnei Washington, of Homemaking With Style blog.

At her place, Brittnei tells tales of being a mom, wife and homemaker. She’s stepmom to three and mom to one, and writes with a sincere, sweet style we love, about pregnancy, healthy living and homemaking.

Please give Brittnei a warm CD welcome as the writes today about what it would be like to be the mom of a girl.

photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopin cc
photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopin cc

If I had a daughter, first of all, I think I would be overjoyed!   I love my son with my whole heart, but I know that having a daughter would be different.  There would be this connection with her, maybe because we are the same gender but then also because she’s a different person.

If I Had A Daughter

 I’m not one to say often what I would do these days.  I’ve learned that life, people and circumstances often change to the point where no one really knows what he or she would really do, but one can hope.  So my hope is that I If I had a daughter that through my relationship with her and our everyday interactions that she would always be secure in my love and loyalty to her.  I hope to be the kind of mother that she can learn from by example who can share advice in times of need and it never be forced.

If I had a daughter,  I’d want to relish the moments I am able to see her with her Daddy.  I would hope to be grateful with tears of joy, often, as I watch her experience the love, attention and security that a relationship with a present father brings.  Knowing that my husband can be so easy going, especially with us raising a son, I’d love to see that switch in his demeanor as the evolution of a more protective side would more than likely come alive.  I’ve seen it briefly in his interaction with his older daughters who are now experiencing young adulthood, but I know even for him, that this time, things would be different.  This time we would be in this from start to finish, together, raising our daughter and other children as husband and wife.

me and hubby married

 If I had a daughter, I’d hope to teach her things like how to cook, decorate and crochet.  I’m sure she would have no problem picking up on football jargon from the rest of us.  I envision the quality time we would spend making large feasts for the entire family, or making wonderful new decor projects that we planned together.

crochet

 Because of what we had taught her, I’d hope to watch her blossom into a woman who knows her worth, who isn’t afraid to do things like create her own business if she wanted to.  Being able to see her demonstrate a keen understanding of how to make a home for her own family one day, because she watched me do it over the years, I’m sure would be priceless.  She may not do it like I did, but I would like to hope that I would be proud of her for finding what works for her and her family and using what she can.

The one thing that I think I would enjoy about having a daughter the most that is very different from having a son is the ability to guide her into womanhood and share my experiences with her, daughter to mom, and later on in life, woman to woman.  What does she do when she gets her period?  How does it feel to be pregnant?  What does giving birth feel like?  How do you make marriage work?  Passing on my life experience with raising children as a wife and mom is something I would take joy in sharing with her.  This is a connection that my son and I could never really share, so having a daughter means, I would get to do this!

If I never have a daughter, then I would know that it wasn’t meant to be, and I will gladly continue to share my life and experience with as many women as I can and I think I could find a way to be content with that.  Though it still stands that if I had a daughter, I think it would be the beginning of a journey that would be quite fulfilling.  Perhaps I will have the opportunity to share what it is like to have a daughter one day….

brittnei quote

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67 Comments Add yours

  1. Brittnei says:

    Eli! It was so nice to be here to be able to share my heart with your readers! Thank you very much for the opportunity! I’m re-reading this post with your words and I’m just teary. It could be the pregnancy hormones, too. Who knows. I’m just at the end of the pregnancy now though so the idea of being a mom to another child and reading this even if it is a boy just makes me so happy. 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      We’re honored to have you here, Brittnei. I read your post many times, and each time, it made me smile. Boy or girl, your child will be born into such love.

      I think many of us parents try just to survive the first months (or years!) of a new baby in some regards, and i love how you’ve been so thoughtful here.

      Your children are blessed, Brittnei – and so are we, those who love to read you.

  2. Yvonne says:

    Will you please let us know if she has a daughter or not? Thank you!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Most definitely, Yvonne. And when she writes about it, I’ll link to her post.

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      How kind you! Looking forward to sharing what we have! Thank you for reading!

  3. Rea Alducente says:

    Not even sure how to handle a girl but if I do have, I want us to be close to each other so that we could travel and do things together. I imagine I’ll be overprotective just like how I am with my son and even if it’s hard to let her go, I’d have to accept it. 🙂 Brittnei, so excited for you! Your thoughts are heartwarming.

    1. Brittnei Washington says:

      Yes Rea! I imagine I will be the same way! Thank you for your excitement with me. Your friendship means so much!

  4. Aww, Brittnei I got my fingers crossed that you will indeed get to know what it is like to have a daughter. I will say I know nothing but girls now as you know and as crazy as it can be here just love my girls and you are right I already have so many shared experiences with them like baking and such that it does make for interesting and fun times quite often.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Wouldn’t that little girl be so lucky, Janine? She’d be in for a wonderful life.

      1. I whole heartedly agree, Eli!

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      Thanks Janine! Even if this one is a boy, it would be nice if we had a girl later on down the line. 🙂

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Too late to declare twins, one of each?

  5. byebyebeer says:

    Beautiful! You brought up some future rites of passage I hadn’t considered as a mother to two girls. Whether you have a girl of your own one day or just get to share these milestones with a daughter-in-law, you have many wonderful insights to share.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      You’re right Kristen – that daughter in law would gain the mother in law of the year, wouldn’t she?

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      Thank you! And you brought up the idea of a daughter in law! I hadn’t thought of that relationship. It would be nice to have a close relationship with them as well.

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        They’ll be lucky, for sure.

  6. I have all boys and can’t even imagine what it would be like to have girls instead. I always say that I am more than enough girl for this whole house.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Every time I think I couldn’t imagine having all boys, one of mine belches, and another punches the one who didn’t.

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      I will think that same way if we just have all boys. The Creator knows better than we do!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        I think the Creator sometimes has a sense of humor about these things.

  7. Having a daughter is a lot different.. W had 2 boys and then our 1st girl and I can honestly say they are wired completely different!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I think if you know the chaos of one gender, getting one of the other must tear up the rule book.

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      I can only imagine! I look forward to possibly being able to experience that difference one day!

  8. reocochran says:

    This is so nice of you, you are so wonderful to share and also to be a good parent. I enjoy your perspective it is always refreshing on your own personal posts, Eli! Hoping you have a Merry Christmas!

    1. Brittnei Washington says:

      How sweet of you to say! Thank you so much!

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      Merry Christmas Robin – glad you enjoyed Brittnei’s post.

  9. tiffanyatouchofgrace says:

    Having a daughter is the greatest blessing I could ever have received. My mom and I didn’t always have the best relationship growing up, so I hope and pray that my daughter and I will be close.
    Thanks for sharing Brittnei!

    1. Brittnei Washington says:

      Some of what I didn’t have in my relationship with my parents definitely came to mind when I was writing this and has inspired the kind of mom I want to be for sure! So I totally understand what you are saying!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        I think that’s always part of it … we want the gifts we got from our parents, and maybe even something we did not get from them, when we become parents.

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      Tiffany – great to have you here. My relationship with my dad got so much better as I grew older … hope yours with your mom did too.

  10. What a sweet post!
    I am a mom of 4.. three daughters and one son and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
    Daughters are fun in their own way but there is something special about having a son that I can’t put into words but I’m sure you understand where I am going with that. Good luck the last leg of your pregnancy!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I think having so many big sisters will make that boy tough and tender.

    2. Brittnei says:

      Yes, I do get it! More than one girl and more than one boy seems like it could be so fun!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        How many kids would you like to have, Brittnei?

  11. becca112971 says:

    As a woman raised with six brothers, two male cousins and slew of uncles I was terrified to have a daughter cause I had no idea myself how to be a girl. My son is my world. That said after reading this I see that a daughter would have been a blessing as well and I hope you one day get your wish.

    1. Brittnei says:

      Thanks so much! Yes, I could see how you would have thought the way you did about having a girl. I’m sure you would have been fine though because you could just share what you know and learn with her as we do with all of our kids anyway. 🙂

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      I don’t know what I would have done with a son, even after one daughter, Becca!

  12. Robin Gagnon says:

    For the longest time while I was pregnant I thought a boy was in there, but now I couldn’t imagine my life without my sweet little girl.

    1. Brittnei says:

      Ha! I hear so many people say that. I did have that feeling that it was a boy but I’m not stuck on it because I have no idea what carrying a girl is like so I know I could be wrong. I bought neutral colored clothing and made neutral color crochet stuff too since we aren’t sure. 🙂

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        You should take a chance and make some pink stuff (but keep blue around just in case).

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’m like you Robin – I thought my oldest would be a boy, and again with my second, but by my third, I knew better … I’m just a girl dad, and I’m cool with that.

  13. Debbie Denny says:

    I loved raising my daughters. I shared things I learned. They each have their own personalities and likes. Was such a job, but a fun one. Hope you do get your girl.

    1. Brittnei says:

      Yes, seeing the difference in personalities I know could make things even more interesting with all the kiddos. Thanks so much for you sweet comment.

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Debbie’s blog is on my “to read” list, Brittnei.

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      I did the same with my girls – which might explain their appreciation for fine things in life such as Star Wars, football and homemade beef jerky.

  14. Kim says:

    Oh – I’m late but I am so happy to see Brittnei over here – maybe soon this post will be a reality!!

    1. Brittnei says:

      Oh it was live on the 24th. I know a lot of people are busy having family time so I hope they end up seeing it! 🙂 I hope you’re enjoying your week, Kim!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        This was a nice holiday present, Brittnei.

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      That would be one lucky girl, Kim.

  15. Victoria says:

    I wanted a girl but I have three boys and I am done having kids now lol. I agree raising a girl would be different than raising boys.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      The only difference between raising three sons and three daughters as I have, I suspect, is toilet training, nail polish and personal feminine stuff a dad doesn’t talk about anyway.

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      I actually think I would be fine to be a boy mom. Though I can’t help but wonder if we ever had a girl what things could be like. 🙂

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        You just have to keep trying until you get one.

  16. censie says:

    I never thought I would be a #girlmom. I love it though. She is slowly teaching me to love glitter, lace, and princess’s! lol

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Censie – I never had a teacher quite as prolific and wise as my three girls!

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      Hahahaha! That is too cute for words!

  17. tamaralikecamera says:

    Maybe your someday is only a few weeks away, Brittnei!
    On a side note, Eli, I had a photo shoot today at a house with three daughters five and under and at least two of them melted down multiple times. The father hid in the basement! (Or maybe he had work down there)
    I get a lot from seeing the relationship between Scarlet and Cassidy. I didn’t have that at her age. On the other hand, I’m writing this comment on my phone and my dad is next to me with a shared bowl of m&ms!
    It’s just all darn good.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      C’mon, dad – when the heat reaches meltdown stage, that’s when you need to step up most!

      I think your dad gets it with the M&Ms – a dad never stops dadding when it comes to his girl and candy.

    2. Brittnei Washington says:

      It is hard to believe that this could be true for me so soon

  18. It is nice to be able to see things from a different perspective. Moms and dads parent so very differently and parent boys and girls differently. It is nice to be able to look at the other side of things.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Lots of dynamics, Janeane … thanks for the visit!

  19. Rorybore says:

    With one boy (eldest) and two girls, I think I am divided. It’s actually my boy who I seem to have the unique, special bond with right now. He’s more attached to me than my girls — they’d run wild like dogs if I let them. But my son, he’s always stuck close. So many questions he has, so much of his heart he wants to share. My girls are happy go lucky and just live in the moment. But I expect this will slowly switch as they get older. My girls come to me when they need me now, and I hope that will only continue and grow. And I think my son will gradually become more independent, or seek out my husband more as manhood approaches.
    It’s all good though. Each one is unique and brings that special, bright spark that’s their glow alone to the mix.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Your comments are like awesome guest posts, Rore. I see that too, that kids’ seasons change in who they come to with things. If it’s not my season, I’ll wait patiently.

      And be ready for anything.

      1. Rorybore says:

        I think that is an all around great parenting motto: Just Be Ready. LOL

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        It’s about survival at times!

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