I have a rough history with Heisman Trophy winners.
Rather, they have a rough history with me. The Heisman Trophy goes to the best player in college football each year. The award doesn’t always translate to pro success. Players such as Troy Smith, Rashaan Salaam and Ty Detmer have won the trophy. None became household names, though.
Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota won this year. He might consider skipping a game at Carolina, though, if I’m in the house.
Jameis Winston (Florida State, 2013), you feel me too?
Three former winners suffered injuries during a game I covered:
Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel (Texas A&M, 2012): Pulled a hamstring during a game against Carolina this past season.
St. Louis Rams quarterback Sam Bradford (Oklahoma, 2008): Suffered a torn ACL after a sideline tackle in 2013.
Quarterback Carson Palmer (Southern California, 2002): Then with the oakland raiders, he took a vicious hit to the ribs and left a game at Carolina in 2012.
1. How do you spell Heisman?
Former Notre Dame quarterback changed the pronunciation of his name to rhyme with Heisman. Joe Theismann went from “THEES-man” to “THEYES-man” in 1970. Rhyming leads to superstardom, after all.
Stanford’s Jim Plunkett garnered more votes than Theismann that year, nonetheless.
John Heisman, the trophy’s namesake, comes with a story too. As Clemson coach, he took a squad to Atlanta in 1902 for a game against Georgia Tech. When his team arrived, they partied like it was 1899.
Georgia Tech fans and players expected no contest from a hung-over opponent. Only, that wasn’t the A team. Heisman sent the JV team to live it up the night before. He sneaked his varsity players in on the morning train.
Final: Clemson 44, Georgia Tech 5.
2. Are sparkles a color?
If this ain’t a question for a run to Jack in the Box for the late-night menu, what is?
Sparkle can be considered a color if your heart tells you it’s a color. Cool, huh? Sparkle can be all colors. It’s the trait of glittering. There’s a jewelry store on Facebook called Sparkle is a Color. It’s an Etsy thing, though.
The Panthers’ and Green Bay Packers’ helmets sparkle.
That’s not Etsy at all, though. Georgia Tech’s helmets didn’t sparkle in 1902. They were probably leather.
3. How is the shot put an Olympic sport, but competitive eating is not?
Speaking of the late-night Jack in The Box menu …
(The girl who asked this demonstrated the event in the kitchen. She couldn’t name it. I’m too slow on the smartphone video skills, or that’d have been stellar.)
I’d watch the medal round of competitive eating instead of shot put. There’s a Major League of Eating, complete with logo. Your dad dreamed of taking home gold in the White Castle Division. He finished second in a cheeseburger-eating contest once.
(He could have won if he hadn’t eaten lunch already.)
4. What is “for the duration”?
Watch that mum destroying a monster cheeseburger. Her finished plate? That’s for the duration. It means the time until the end of something, especially war. It can be controversial. Just ask your uncles about Vietnam, or cousins about Iraq.
There are dire consequences when you stay for the duration at war.
There are also dire consequences when you don’t stay for the duration at war. Heavy stuff. Shot-put heavy, in fact.
5. Is that tequila on your sleep pants?
No, that’s beer.
Daddy takes one shot at night for his health, for blood-glucose management. Tequila contains agavins, a natural sugar found in the agave plant. It’s non-digestible and works as a dietary fiber. Studies show a shot gives you a dose of insulin, which my body can’t make on its own.
It’s made a difference. I get lower morning readings when I’ve had a shot the night before.
I’m the reaper for Heisman winners. Tequila’ good for my health. It’s all proven.
I’ll maintain the nightly shot for now. Maybe even for the duration.