Go Ask Daddy About Spelling, Competing and Grown-up Pajama Pants


heismanI have a rough history with Heisman Trophy winners.

GAD GRAPHICRather, they have a rough history with me.

The Heisman Trophy goes to the best player in college football each year. The award doesn’t always translate to pro success. Players such as Troy Smith, Rashaan Salaam and Ty Detmer have won the trophy. None became household names, though.

Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota won this year. He might consider skipping a game at Carolina, though, if I’m in the house.

Jameis Winston (Florida State, 2013), you feel me too?

Three former winners suffered injuries during a game I covered:

photo credit: Johnny Manziel via photopin (license)
photo credit: Johnny Manziel via photopin (license)

Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel (Texas A&M, 2012): Pulled a hamstring during a game against Carolina this past season.

St. Louis Rams quarterback Sam Bradford (Oklahoma, 2008): Suffered a torn ACL after a sideline tackle in 2013.

Quarterback Carson Palmer (Southern California, 2002): Then with the oakland raiders, he took a vicious hit to the ribs and left a game at Carolina in 2012.

Just sayin’.

1. How do you spell Heisman?

photo credit: Billy Sims via photopin (license)
photo credit: Billy Sims via photopin (license)

H-E-I-S-M-A-N.

Former Notre Dame quarterback changed the pronunciation of his name to rhyme with Heisman. Joe Theismann went from “THEES-man” to “THEYES-man” in 1970. Rhyming leads to superstardom, after all.

Stanford’s Jim Plunkett garnered more votes than Theismann that year, nonetheless.

John Heisman, the trophy’s namesake, comes with a story too. As Clemson coach, he took a squad to Atlanta in 1902 for a game against Georgia Tech. When his team arrived, they partied like it was 1899.

Georgia Tech fans and players expected no contest from a hung-over opponent. Only, that wasn’t the A team. Heisman sent the JV team to live it up the night before. He sneaked his varsity players in on the morning train.

Final: Clemson 44, Georgia Tech 5.

2. Are sparkles a color?

photo credit: Billy Sims via photopin (license)
photo credit: Billy Sims via photopin (license)

If this ain’t a question for a run to Jack in the Box for the late-night menu, what is?

Sparkle’s a color if your heart tells you it’s a color. Cool, huh? Sparkle can be all colors. It’s the trait of glittering. There’s a jewelry store on Facebook called Sparkle is a Color. It’s an Etsy thing, though. The Panthers’ and Green Bay Packers’ helmets sparkle.

That’s not Etsy at all, though. Georgia Tech’s helmets didn’t sparkle in 1902. They were probably leather.

3. How is the shot put an Olympic sport, but competitive eating is not?

photo credit: Shot Put via photopin (license)
photo credit: Shot Put via photopin (license)

Speaking of the late-night Jack in The Box menu …

(The girl who asked this demonstrated the event in the kitchen. She couldn’t name it. I’m too slow on the smartphone video skills, or that’d have been stellar.)

I’d watch the medal round of competitive eating instead of shot put. There’s a Major League of Eating, complete with logo. Your dad dreamed of taking home gold in the White Castle Division. He finished second in a cheeseburger-eating contest once.

(He could have won if he hadn’t eaten lunch already.)

Watch these videos and decide: Shot put or competitive eating?

4. What is “for the duration”?

photo credit: Shot Put via photopin (license)
photo credit: Shot Put via photopin (license)

Watch that mum destroying a monster cheeseburger.

Her finished plate?

That’s for the duration.

It means the time until the end of something, especially war. It can be controversial.

Just ask your uncles about Vietnam, or cousins about Iraq. There are dire consequences when you stay for the duration at war. There are also dire consequences when you don’t stay for the duration at war.

Heavy stuff. Shot-put heavy, in fact.

5. Is that tequila on your sleep pants?

No, that’s beer.

Daddy takes one shot at night for his health, for blood-glucose management. Tequila contains agavins, a natural sugar found in the agave plant. It’s non-digestible and works as a dietary fiber. Studies show a shot gives you a dose of insulin, which my body can’t make on its own.

It’s made a difference. I get lower morning readings when I’ve had a shot the night before.

I’m the reaper for Heisman winners. Tequila’ good for my health. It’s all proven.

I’ll maintain the nightly shot for now. Maybe even for the duration.

tequila quote

 

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35 Replies to “Go Ask Daddy About Spelling, Competing and Grown-up Pajama Pants”

    1. I guess they were all out of “rum and coke and grilled cheese sandwiches” pants. The kid just knows dad brought home a new appreciation for tequila from Mexico. And some ponchos.

  1. So interesting about the tequila. I used to be excited about Heisman winners til I realized the difference between playing pro v college. Like being the 4.0 who goes to the “real” job…and by that I mean paying and playing with the best? Seen it humble so many people. Thanks girls, for your questions.

    1. I’d noticed my blood sugar was best when I was in Mexico, despite 5 a.m. bacon cheeseburgers. The X-factor (besides the burgers): tequila.

      I think if you appreciate the Heisman for what it is – recognition for outstanding college play – and don’t worry about the pros, it’s still a cool award.

      Great analogy, the grades and real job. Only way to test your mettle is to get in the game.

      The girls’ list is 300+ strong now. I’m trying to use anything but search engines when I can, to get some real-life answers.

  2. Now that’s interesting about tequila, it’s probably why if you have a little too much you get drunk again the next morning by drinking a coke. (Happened to me) If eating was a sport I’d be a triathlete Mate. Instead of a steel ball I would shot put heavy xmas puddings.

    1. When will the health food stores carry tequila? I didn’t know that about the Coke, mate. I get one shot with salt after dinner. I’d be the Jim Thorpe of eating in the Olympics.

      Heavy Xmas puddings might be a hazard to the general public’s welfare if they become airborne. Where do I sign up?

      1. I guess the bottle shop next door to the health food shop will have to do. Coke? Had a big night out in the army and was introduced to tequila. The following morning I had a can of coke and was drunk all over again.
        Hmm, I thought I was the Jim Thorpe of eating. I’ve been in training for years and years.
        I can see those puddings whizzing through the air now, with a little sprig of holly on them.
        Stand in line mate, stand in line.

  3. I had no idea that Joe Theismann changed the pronunciation of his name – sad that the thing he is remembered for the most (in my mind) is that horrible leg break!!
    Loved the story about the Clemson team – pretty tricky of the coach!!!
    I’m impressed that you can do a tequila shot!! Straight tequila is something I’ve never been able to do but I will take mine in a margarita!!!

    1. That injury happened on my birthday, too. I guess because there was no Instagram in 1902, it was easy to sneak the JV into town for a trick like that.

      I have been on JV most of my life, and not once have I been sent to Atlanta to live it up to support the varsity. Not once.

      Tequila is easy. It goes down kinda warm. It’s like medicine for me. Not straight from the bottle, no lime, no worms, no co-eds cheering.

  4. I love the Clemson story! I’d never heard that one, but upon further research I learned that he went on to coach at Georgia Tech from 1904–1919. He may have been the start of the Yellow Jackets’ sneakiness! They always give us a run for the money when we play them, but that could just be Paul Johnson’s triple option offense…

  5. Um…. Doug Flutie is STILL remembered here in New England. Hell he is still bought dinner in our old hometown. Probably because he used a bulk of his first contract money to completely rehab the Natick gym and football team. 🙂

    1. Doug Flutie’s TD pass against Miami is the stuff of legend, Kerri. Plus he didn’t forget where he came from.

      Always liked him – we’re the same height, incidentally. I think it’s worked for the both of us.

  6. look at me, showing up on time and everything!! Do I get a trophy, or a shot? 🙂

    I have done shot put. I was a Pentathlete in high school and shot put was one of the 5 events. And it’s actually quite hard!! Eating is much easier I should think. The form you must maintain through the throw (say the fast 3x) is not natural. And you kinda Push, so your shoulders have to be strong. I sucked. I had to smoke all the competitors in the 100 metre dash and lap them in the 1500 m race to be able to make up for my lousy shot put score.
    I did. Shot please. I already got a trophy. 🙂

    1. You get a shot *inside* a trophy, Rore. No matter when you show up.

      Is there any video footage of you tossing the put? Pentathlete sounds like a lot of work. I was a uniathlete at most, and an unathlete at best.

      Your shoulders have to also be strong for competitive eating.

      1. I know I have shots of me doing high jump, because honestly, that was just poetry in motion. But um…the shot put? pretty sure everyone was standing WELL BACK for safety reasons. 🙂

  7. You know, I actually saw a shirt somewhere what said “My Favorite Color is Sparkle” (or maybe it said glitter – same difference). It was probably at Justice – the store at which they should give grownups sunglasses upon entry! Also, I love all your sports facts. My dad is a sports enthusiast – especially baseball. HE can spout the most random, little known facts anyone never wanted to know. When I read your posts like this, it makes me think of my dad and that makes me smile. 🙂

    1. It is a thing, the color sparkle. Grace had a hard time finding anything understated in there, so she spent her gift card on leggings (no glitter!) and candy.

      I’m honored to be thought of with your dad, Lisa. Random sports facts are a dad’s domain. And also baiting hooks and being earning our carnivore stripes.

  8. Love the sparkle! My heart definitely tells me that it’s a color. A pretty one at that. We need more sparkle in life!

    In another lifetime I was out with coworkers. They were doing Tequila shots. I didn’t. They asked what was wrong with Tequila. “I only like Tequila in Margaritas” I said.

    They went ahead and ordered strawberry, pineapple, peach and some other flavor I don’t remember, and they made me drink all of them. Bad idea.

    It was a weeknight.

    The other morning I slept through two different alarms that were probably beeping for a long time, and the office called my home phone every couple of minutes. Bad idea.

    1. Sparkle works, doesn’t it? It kind of goes with everything, too. I’ll take some extra.

      You might have been hung over by your tequila fruit marathon, but I bet your glucose levels were good. Ish.

  9. My daughter loves anything but “sparkle” in fact, she’s into the “all black” attire and if I am lucky, her shirt will have a kitten on it somewhere. Ha-ha.

    And a shot of Tequila would have me out for a week. I’m a light weight.

    1. My daughters are kind of sparkle-averse, too – they’re more likely to pick candy if they have a gift card to Justice Just for Girls. They’re also kitten-averse.

      I’m a lightweight too – which is strange that I can take on tequila without much of a hiccup. Or any hiccups, really.

  10. Doug Flutie! He is much loved here in BC and remembered for his days with the BC Lions.
    Question for you Eli. Is THE dress gold and white or black and blue. What do your girls think?

    1. I remember Flutie in the USFL, too. I forgot he played for BC! Dude must have a cool helmet collection.

      I saw black and blue the first night, and white and gold ever since. Elise and Marie have seen blue and black every time, and Grace, white and gold. And now there’s a future Go Ask Daddy question about the dress’ origin!

  11. Shot put for sure.
    I’m still unsure about sparkle being a color. It’s something all right. It’s a genre of colors, maybe.

    As for pajama pants, I don’t have beer on mine but right now they’re red with snowflakes. Yes, at 2:00pm. In a house of snow and stomach bugs and cold and strife, it was the least I could do.

    1. Maybe the shot put could be a meatball, and then eaten afterward?

      Sparkle might be a way of life, Tam.

      What does a girl pair with red pajama pants with snowflakes, as far as socks go? And I think your house would be the house to get stuck in with stomach bugs and snow, because Star Wars.

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