I’ve led soccer teams onto interesting playing grounds.
Our club teams play by railroad tracks. Elise and Marie played on a sunk-down field. It’s like a pit Fred Flintstone dug with his brontosaurus. Our tournaments happen at a place called Mazeppa Park. And we played an entire season on a field of mowed down corn.
The creepiest, hand down: The field by a cemetery.
We’re not talking way over yonder. We’re talking, don’t back up from the sideline without looking. There’s a headstone behind you. Grave markers came in handy on errant balls on that side of the field. Turns out soccer balls bounce back nicely off slabs of marble.
The home team always had an early advantage in matches there.
Kids stared wide-eyed at the monuments to the dearly departed. You can imagine how late October games went there. I didn’t mind. Barbecue month happens each October in the Carolinas. We’d kick the home team’s butt, and eat up their barbecue in the parish hall.
Oh, and the other sweet memory of playing next to a graveyard?
That sideline always kept quiet.
1. Do people ever get married in graveyards?
Should the officiant even bother with “speak now, or forever hold your peace”?
The blog Rock N Roll Bride tells the tale of Kristen and Joe. They’re a couple who took ‘til deal do us part’ to a higher level. Joe’s groomsmen carried Kristen to the altar in a coffin, to Joe’s surprise. They started their lives together where they would end – in a cemetery.
Joe’s groomsmen wore orange-and-black Atlanta Braves caps, too. Why not the san francisco giants? They went with death as a theme, not dumb, obviously.
2. What’s the bus in Scooby Doo called?
Those meddling kids travel in the Mystery Machine, a modified 1965 Chevy Greenbrier. Before the gang procured the van, Daphne’s dad wheeled them around to spooky assignments. The Mystery Machine always has ample ladders, lanterns and ropes, too.
And it has computer equipment. Like an FBI van or something.
When the gang splits up, Velma gets stuck with Shag and Scoob to run from goblins. Ever notice Fred and Daphne disappear? Hmm. If the Mystery Machine’s rockin’ …
3. Why is this book called “Scat”?
We’re dealing with Go Ask Daddy, not Go Ask Daddy Questions He Justifies Answering Only.
Best-selling author Carl Hiassen’s wrote “Scat,” a novel with a neat cover. It’s a humorous kids’ mystery – without the Mystery Machine. It rates 3.92 stars out of 5 on Good Reads. What kid wouldn’t love a mystery with a field trip to a creepy swamp and a missing teacher?
Let’s not spoil the ending here. You included, kid. Maybe it’s time to check it out at the library again.
4. How many people are in America?
Google says 318 million. The site HowManyOfMe.com says 319 million.
That doesn’t include a couple dozen soccer fans in that cemetery.
HowManyOfMe.com has staggering stats and American populous facts. A single-file line of all Americans would encircle the world seven times. That’s as long as the express lane line at the Walmart in Indian Land on a Friday afternoon.
This site’s legit. It tells you how many people have your name in the U.S. Of the 69,422 Pachecos in the Land of the Free, six call themselves Eli Pacheco. If you Google me, you might find the cat in New Mexico with an arrest record. Not cool, dude. Only one of us looks can be Juan Pablo Montoya’s doppelganger.
5. Who bailed out Justin Bieber?
It couldn’t have been the New Mexico Eli Pacheco.
Bail of $2,500 is chump change. Bieber’s worth $200 million, according to foodworldnews.com. He has that balled up in his baggy jeans pockets. Miami Beach Police arrested Bieber last year for drag-racing under the influence of alcohol. He also resisted arrest and took this drunken spin without a valid license.
It’s fine to pile on a Canadian punk when he screws up, it seems.
I know I’d go into full badger mode if a kid like him look sideways at one of my girls.I wanted to find something positive Justin Bieber’s done, though. I’m a pizza box half full kind of guy, after all.
What I found were Justin Bieber jokes.
EDIT: (I had one here, in this spot. At 4:30 a.m., I woke up, and realized the reference in the joke to a box of tissues wasn’t what I thought it was at first. So I had to take it out!)
I also found this video.