Sports fans among us will need no explanation for the term Posterized.
For the A to Z Challenge today, P is for Posterized. Ever stood your ground on a basketball court in the face of a fast break, only to have some cat slam dunk over your rattled skull? Well, then you’ve been Posterized. The term emerged in the 1980s, in the age of sports posters in boys’ bedrooms.
An NBA player, a Craig Ehlo or Larry Krystkowiak type, saw himself on a poster in a big-city airport – directly under Michael Jordan, grimaced faced and helpless. Posterized. For all eternity.
The term infiltrated other sports.
Running backs Posterize cornerbacks with a punishing carry. Pitchers Posterize hitters with a nasty slider. Soccer forwards Posterize defenders with a sick double scissor. Posterizing becomes sweeter when it’s your team against your rival.
The folks at Fanatics, an online store for licensed sports apparel, sent me this graphic. They’re the mecca for MLB hats and more.
It’s the Fan-o-Meter. No, they didn’t send me a load of Rockies and Nuggets gear (Size 52 jersey, if you’re wondering). They just shared the graphic and asked if I’d share it with you. From 1 to 11, they’ve identified levels of sports fandom. Which ones apply to you?
For me …
1 FASHIONABLE SPORTS FAN | If by fashionable you mean faded out Rockies lid that looks like a giraffe digested it … count me in.
2 SOCIAL SPORTS FAN | Not me. I’d rather sit alone in the dark to watch a Broncos game so I can curse like a real live coach.
3 ADRENELINE FAN | My best bet for a ticket to the game? A press pass. No cheering in the pressbox!
4 GENERATIONAL FAN | It took me 16 years to follow the family tradition in football.
5 UNDERDOG FAN | It’s in my blood. Only because my teams are perpetual underdogs. So am I.
6 NO SPOILERS FAN | Shoot, the last Nuggets game I watched on TV? Alex English didn’t even have a mustache yet.
7 HIDDEN EARPHONE FAN | Rockies day game? Bet your ass I’ll have the gamecast on at work.
8 CALL IN SICK FAN | Never for the big game. My teams rarely play big games. We wore black on Black Monday, also known as the day after a Denver Broncos Super Bowl loss.
9 FAN OVERBOARD | My girls’ real names might or might not be connected to 1) a basketball arena; 2) a legendary coach and 3) a baseball stadium.
10 THE ULTIMATE FAN | I will believe in my team until three days after they’re eliminated.
11 TURN IT UP TO 11 | Too poor for season tickets, too old to wear a jersey, but absurdly loyal.
So which fan are you?