A Guest Post is Worth 11 Smartphone Photos. Right?


photo credit: To Sooth Your Throat via photopin (license)
photo credit: To Sooth Your Throat via photopin (license)

This space usually goes to the guest blogger of the week.

I love the opportunity to share with you a writer I dig here, every week. Today, though, the tap ran dry. An incredible writer (whom you’ll read in a week!) was due in this space, but it didn’t work out. And that’s fine. Life sometimes squeezes out our blog time, doesn’t it?

You’re going to love her. Next week.

For now, I will take a page out of my mate Laurie’s book, and post a gaggle of photos. His are professional, I remind you. Mine are taken on an iPhone that for three months I couldn’t manage to hold right-side-up.

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My first official iPhone photo (above). This is a serpent Grace made of clay. Or, it’s an intimate shot of jumper cables after dark. Either way, no, that’s not my work laptop under the clay, boss. I think he’s mighty fearsome.

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My big girls on gameday, some time last year (above). They’re bigger and tougher now. I won’t say how much money changed hands to make this embrace possible. There’s actually a 67% chance a wrestling match busted out right after the cheese faded.

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This is where I work. For real. No, I don’t hand out the shoes. It’s the bowling alley in the basement. I can go play, any time. Kelly kicked my ass here once. I edged Claire another time. And every time I bowl a strike, no one’s looking. Except Jesus and Elvis.

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This is pic 1 of a do-it-yourself post I meant to write about a repurposed rocking chair. Gorgeous, isn’t it? I finished it and everything. I just never wrote the damn post.

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Grace once told me “sometimes I’m pretty, and sometimes I’m dirty.” She asked for a Saturday of fishing recently, and with no soccer games that day, it felt like divine intervention. She’s muddy and proud. Dig the Converse? I do.

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My U14s team ventured into the wild to fetch the soccer balls they kicked over the fence tonight. At least four of them. They found this gem. One girl asked if anyone had a little brother who liked Spiderman. It didn’t take long to remember coach does.

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What do you do if the athletes your kids look up to do wrong? We’ve been lucky. Thanks for that, RGIII. I appreciate that, Tim Howard. High-five, Larry Fitzgerald. Grace sports a jersey any dad could be proud of. Marie’s the Cardinals fan, but still.

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I find gems like this all over. A dose of imagination, a blank canvas, and a pen full of black ink. Where do these ideas come from? Elise did this while she was supposed to do homework. I’m not even a little bit mad about it.

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I remember the days when Marie looked at me this way. These days? A rack of ribs will do the trick. She’s carnivorous like dad. And ravenous. Watching my kids devour meat is like watching Wild, Wild World of Animals. The episodes with parental warnings.

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The coolest part of a weekend trip with dad to a soccer tournament? The moments in between games. (That, and getting dad to shell out $10 for a Wake Forest hoodie). Grace nabbed this lunker on a sleepover between matches in Winston-Salem.

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I don’t believe in jinxes, but I do believe in good luck charms. John Wooden used to carry a tiny crucifix in his pocket during games. Lucky rocks have done well for me. I’ve managed to not return this one to the earth as I did my last lucky rock.

# # #

Thanks for sticking around.

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43 Replies to “A Guest Post is Worth 11 Smartphone Photos. Right?”

  1. It’s ironic that my phone has relaxed BOTH my watch and my phone – and tonight I used it to scan the heavens and check my absolute position. It has been come a very handy gadget, but I still love to take photos with mg camera. But, sadly I usually have my phones instead. Nice photos. Great kids, they look like they have a lot of fun. Have a great week.

    1. Did you happen to find my absolute position too, Clay? I’ve misplaced it.

      Thanks for the visit, brother. Glad you liked the photos! (I’m sure Marie would object to the ribs pic, but how could I resist?)

  2. Love the photos. Always nice to have something to read during late-night feedings. 🙂

    It’s also nice to dream of what we’ll do together when our boys are bigger. Lots of Saturday soccer games in our future, I hope.

    1. Thanks Kim. Convenient, because I put this post together during a late-night feeding of my own (Frosted Flakes into my own face.)

      You’re going to love being a soccer mom. Remind me to tell you about shin guards sometime, and their impact on your sense of smell.

  3. What a great post and I’m so heartened to learn I’m not the only one in the world not intrinsically designed to master smart phones! Gorgeous girls and it sounds like you enjoy them alot. How could you not…they’re all so lovely!

    1. That’s not even all, Britt. We have two cafes, a basketball court and indoor walking track, and you can get pizza slices and cookies as big as your head for just a buck each.

      1. Don’t kid. We’d hire you around here. We don’t have a garage door, but we do go to the tropics every January and we have a meeting room called Hot Sauce.

  4. Now that was fun! I remember Scarlet’s first pair of Converse – given to us before she was born. She had to match me, of course!

    1. Just a little something I threw together … I don’t post my pics as big as you or Laurie, but it feels fitting for an amateur like me.

      I’m not a bit surprised your kid wears Cons – and you do too. They’re the coolest.

  5. Mate, what can I say? Great pics and words, a real insight into you and your girls. I’ll let you in on a secret, I take terrible pictures on my phone. Oh and thanks for the mention.

  6. Your daughter’s doodle (“to the moon”) is the best thing Jesus, Elvis and I will see all day. Thanks for sharing these. I’d love to be considered for a guest post. I wrote one recently about giving my 5-year-old an iPhone that might have some broad appeal (and a couple of adult words I could edit out if need be).

    1. Thanks high praise, Lisa. It was fun to nab a few floating pics out of the phone for this. Maybe I’ll do it again sometime.

      I’ll email you about the guest post. We’re mostly PG (80s variety) around here, but a little PG-13 helps stir up the pot.

  7. Great pics….maybe even better than a guest post? Whoever she is she sure sounds like a slacker… I hope she’s worth the wait! 😊 in the meantime, thanks for a glimpse into your life. Love these! Especially of your girls!

    1. Never better than a good guest post, Rachael. A decent fill-in though! Luckily, she came correct with a quality post today. Maybe you’ve seen it …

      It was fun to get the photos in … I’ll do this again if I need to fill in.

  8. Oh man I am grinning ear to ear. You make a wonderful replacement guest poster, Eli! I feel as if I popped by for a good chinwag and got to share a few moments of your family time. What’s with the bowling alley in the basement? That is the coolest.

    1. Thanks Kelly. I once did a guest post on my own blog, as in writing one, too. I had to look up chinwag, but will now use it in a post, the sooner the better.

      There’s a beer garden on the roof, too! A putting green and couches with big TVs and two kickass cafes. I wonder if rich people prison is like this.

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