Go Ask Daddy About the Slammer, Fire Physics and Wally’s Little Brother

jailThe place where I work is a lot like college.

GAD GRAPHICNot just because of the age of most of my co-workers. I’m not sure exactly, but I’d estimate 88% of my colleagues are young enough to be my little brothers and sisters. And that’s fine with me. A campus with a bowling alley, two food courts, bier garden and pool tables shouldn’t be only for the young.

Grace spent time with me recently at Red Ventures, and asked at least 11 questions.

She did the same on a visit to Wake Forest University for a soccer tournament. She dug the fact that you could live, eat, sleep, learn, and play all, right there. Just like at daddy’s work. She asked about everything, from “do college kids have bed time?” to … well …

1. Do they have a jail on campus?

The closest thing my girls have to jail time is school lunch. I’d love to keep it that way.

It’s unclear in my extensive research if campuses have jails. Football schools seem to have especially busy campus police forces.

If you’re a campus cop at UCLA, you might get pressed into duty handcuffing Diddy. I discovered that in some parts of America, prisoners outnumber college kids.

I was a good kid in college. The only police I feared then were the fashion police. I’m certain I committed a ballcap-and-trackpants violation or three.

2. Can’t you edit stuff on Wikipedia?

wikipediaThat’s what makes it unsuitable for school papers and dad’s work blogs, right? That anyone can log in and edit some Wikipedia?

It’s like when our parents said we’d fry our eyes if we sat too close to the TV. (Unless you have the infamous 1967 GE model that spit out X-rays, you’re good.)

Wikipedia contributors can add to articles, but they can’t edit them. So I can’t go in and erase the Broncos’ Super Bowl losses, for instance.

Or bad stuff they write about Coke Zero.

3. Why do flames go up?

photo credit: Detroit firefighters via photopin (license)
photo credit: Detroit firefighters via photopin (license)

Because it says so on Wikipedia.

A flame weighs less than air. Gravity also plays a part. Flames have hot gasses that turn orange, red and yellow. Ever tried to keep an inflatable toy under water at the pool? It’s the same principle. The air in the toy is lighter than the water, so it floats to the top. Just like a flame.

And I got them details from USA Today, not Wikipedia.

4. Have you ever forgotten something in your car at soccer practice, and had to walk all the way back to get it?


All the time, girls. All the time.

I always park in the first available space, which is usually 11 decameters from the practice field. I do this in the name of exercise and humility. Also, because I’d be embarrassed if moms could see the expanse of animal cracker boxes and sea of soda cans that cover my floor board.

One time, I actually forgot the soccer balls.

5. Why is Theodore Cleaver’s nickname Beaver?

[[File:Jerry Mathers Leave It To Beaver 1962.jpg|Jerry Mathers Leave It To Beaver 1962]]
[[File:Jerry Mathers Leave It To Beaver 1962.jpg|Jerry Mathers Leave It To Beaver 1962]]
The first result in a Google search brought up Wikipedia!

I’ll turn to the trusted source known as MortysTV.com. According to Morty, Joe Connelly, creator of “Leave it to Beaver,” met a dude in the army nicknamed Beaver, and he kept it in his back pocket. Enter Theodore Cleaver. He even asked his teacher, Mrs. Canfield, to call him Beaver.

“Is that your given name?” Mrs. Canfield asks.

“Yeah,” Beaver says.

“My brother gave it to me.”

The final season reveals the whole story. The Beav asks his mom why he’s called Beaver as they flip through a photo album. Wally, Beaver’s big brother, couldn’t pronounce Theodore. It came out “Tweever.” And the rest is history.

“Leave it to Tweever” would have been a dumb name for a show.

He’d probably end up in jail with a name like Tweever.

Maybe even on campus.

beav quote


  1. reocochran says:

    So glad to have the Beaver mystery solved. This post was right up my alley, Eli. Have a fantastic weekend!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      The kids ask the relevant questions of life, Robin. Glad you liked it.

  2. I actually knew the whole Beaver story as I totally watched that show in reruns as a kid. And I am with you on being a good kid in college that never would have found her way to campus police for anything more than fashion reasons either 😉

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      We still watch it on Netflix. I guess sleeping in the library wasn’t an infraction for campus cops, because I did my share of that, too.

  3. ksbeth says:

    Thanks for answering questions for me too, even the ones I didn’t know that I didn’t know. Like the origin of beaver. Great photo of our brave firefighters from the d, a bonus –

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      The questions you didn’t know you didn’t know are the ones that are icing on the cake, beth. I tried to use a photo of a gigantic fire pit fire Grace made, but it came out sideways … glad it was a bonus for you and the d.

  4. mrsmariposa2014 says:

    Interesting stuff. I confess I am a TV trivia nerd so I knew why Beaver is Beaver on the show but I did not remember about the Army buddy bit.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks. I found the army bit when I researched the show’s creator. I wonder if the soldier called Beaver saw the show.

  5. kismaslife says:

    Happy Friday Eli! I’m waiting in line at the DMV and catching up on blogs! Love the wiki questions- my kids always tell me “I read it on wiki” to which I respond ” so of course it’s true, right?

    Have a great weekend!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Good morning Tiffany. At the DMV, you could probably read every blog I’ve ever written – or War and Peace, whichever keeps your attention.

      To my kids, Wikipedia is the site with all the information they’re not allowed to use for assignments.

      enjoy the weekend and thanks for stopping by!

  6. tamaralikecamera says:

    I’m pretty sure there’s a jail in Disney World. Did you tell her that one?? Or better to wait..

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s probably a good idea to tell her there’s a jail in anyplace fun, so as to use the possibility of incarceration virtually anywhere as a motivation (fear?) to invoke an ensure acceptable societal behavior.

  7. tania2atee says:

    I actually didn’t know why he was called Beaver either. Thanks for letting me know. (I loved that show growing up too!)

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      They never talk about it on the show, but he’s only Theodore in school or when he’s in trouble. Hey, my girls ask the pertinent questions in life.

      I just try to answer them!

  8. candidkay says:

    If only the only police we needed were fashion police! Saw several kids being handcuffed at my alma mater when back for a reunion. Ugh. I’m sure it happened when I was there but don’t remember it being frequent.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’d be a felon if that were the case, Kay, but it’d be a happier world! Just like old times at your alma mater? Mine was a bit passive and apathetic when I was there, so there wasn’t even much police action.

      Happy to say UNC Charlotte has turned a corner. Glad to see you here!

  9. brittabottle says:

    Well, I went to a very small campus in the middle of nowhere and we did not have a jail. We did have campus police, though, who mostly gave out minors and busted people for pot. I, too was a good kid, though, which explains why I spent three years as an RA.
    Well, I’ll be darnend, I learned something new today. I never knew the story of Beaver’s nickname, either, so interesting. 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      They should have that in the school brochure – we don’t have a jail! Pot cops are busy in college, I think.

      They didn’t put me in charge of a thing in college. I’ve not found that offensive until just right now.

      Stick around Britta, these girls ask the best questions.

      1. brittabottle says:

        Well, gee, what were they thinking not putting you in charge? How rude!

        I sure will. I always love their questions.

  10. Rorybore says:

    My alma mater had 2 small holding cells in it’s campus police office. do not ask me how I know that.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      That you know how many holding cells there are tells us all we need to now, Rore. I won’t ask.

      1. Rorybore says:

        ha… got ya going. I volunteered on the Foot Patrol Walk You Home Safe program. 🙂

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        Sure you did, Rore.

  11. I never knew the Leave It to Beaver story, thanks! I should introduce that show, our kids love I dream of Jeannie!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s just the kind of thing I might look for on my own, Kristen, but because of the girls, it’s certain I’ll look for it!

      Leave it to Beaver has genius writing if you ask me – so much better than contemporary shows. Probably because they couldn’t toss around the rude and crude like shows can today.

  12. Very cute!! My boys and I discovered Leave it to Beaver on Netflix recently, and it is a riot!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks April! Leave it to Beaver is the show my girls love but won’t admit to.

  13. Thank you, Eli, for some much needed humor. I must stop by more often.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s always light around here unless it isn’t, Kitt. Glad to have you by!

  14. You had one job, E! (To bring the soccer balls), hahaha!

    I will NOT go and check what Wikipedia says about Coke Zero. Wanna know why? It’s day 6 that I go Coke Zero free! Really! One coffee in the morning, and done. Currently I am sipping “Ginger Lime Mocktail” and loving it. Also it’s 93°F outside. I may be a bit dellusional.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s not easy to remember soccer balls when you’re stuffing animal crackers into your pockets before practice.

      I’ll never read stuff about Coke Zero, for different reasons than you, Tamara. I’m faithful to it. Well, unless Pepsi Max is on sale. I tried giving it up and felt like the Tasmanian Devil.

      I think the lack of Coke Zero might be going to your head.

      1. Well, Animal Crackers ARE a huge distraction 😉 Aren’t there any soccer crackers out there?

        I may have read too much stuff about Coke Zero – the artificial sweeteners in it to be more precise. It’s not good for us. So after 20 years of heavy, faithful consumption (NEVER Pepsi!!!) I quit cold turkey. I can’t even tell you why NOW. I have never even tried – because I was afraid of the Tasmanian Devil.

        And you’re absolutely right. It is going to my head. This and the 96°F that were happing today. Uggghhhh!

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        Soccer crackers might distract me even more from the soccer balls in my trunk.

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