Go Ask Daddy About Rooskies, the Fab Four and Daddy’s Downfall at Target


photo credit: Oy, My Feet Hurt via photopin (license)
photo credit: Oy, My Feet Hurt via photopin (license)

I hope my girls learn by osmosis.

GAD GRAPHICWhen they get in my car, if I turn my radio down a little – to say, 12 – I can keep NPR on and they won’t even notice. (If the Moth Radio Hour is on, I can turn it up to 15 or 18 even.) Every once in a while a word will pop out from the broadcast, and it’ll even spark a little conversation.

Race relations. Politics. Shit about the rain forest.

And even though the kids sometimes get it wrong.

(“It’s free speech – it’s in the bible.” one kid muttered. “Orlando is a country,” said another. Or was it the same one? She might have also said “chiro means earth.” But an inquisitive mind doesn’t have to always get it right.)

Such exposure leads to conversation, or even questions. The kind of questions I pile up and answer on Thursday nights for Friday. Like, these five.

2. Are we friends with Russia?

You tell me. Granted, Ivan Drago was from Sthe Soviet Union but the cold war we kids enjoyed in the 80s is being reborn today.

Whether it’s Russian president Vladimir Putin swiping Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl rings or the U.S. and Russia picking sides in Syria, we always seem to end up on the other side of the fence.

We have a nice little pissing match going on in over Ukraine, too.

No, I’d say we’re not friends with Russia. I wanted to make fun of the Russian soccer team, but they’re ranked 23rd in the world – 10 spots ahead of Merica. Dammit.

2. How do you say ‘turd’ in Spanish?

photo credit: Holy Virgin Cathedral Joy of All Who Sorrow Pix 12-23-09 (323)ab LR via photopin (license)
photo credit: Holy Virgin Cathedral Joy of All Who Sorrow Pix 12-23-09 (323)ab LR via photopin (license)

In Russian, it’s der’mo.

In Spanish – depends on who you ask. My dad used to say mojon, but he was from New Mexico and they do things differently there. Google Translate tells us its zurullo. SpanishDict.com calls a parcel of poop la cagada or la mierda. That last one, I thought, was translated to shit in English.

I also learned that a person who you refer to as a turd, in Spain, would be el gilipollas (or la gilipollas, for a girl.) Who says your questions aren’t enlightening?

3. How old were the guys in The Beatles when they first started?

photo credit: Holy Virgin Cathedral Joy of All Who Sorrow Pix 12-23-09 (323)ab LR via photopin (license)
photo credit: Holy Virgin Cathedral Joy of All Who Sorrow Pix 12-23-09 (323)ab LR via photopin (license)

At age 17, in 1957, John Lennon formed The Quarry Men, a precursor for The Beatles.

He even let little Paul McCartney, age 15, join in. Grammar school friends, John and Paul played a style of music some called rock ‘n’ skiffle, which brought a taste of blues, folk and jazz. George Harrison joined at age 15, and Ringo Starr became the Beatles’ drummer at age 21 in 1962.

They had several different names before they became The Beatles, including Johnny and the Moondogs, The Sliver Beatles and the Beatals.

Here’s my favorite Beatles song.

4. Would a tomato explode if you threw it at something?

photo credit: dirty tomato via photopin (license)
photo credit: dirty tomato via photopin (license)

Before they tossed Octopuses, the thing was tomatoes.

Rotten ones work best. Yes, they explode. Tomato tossing has roots in Shakespeare’s Globe Theater in Elizabethan London. Before tomatoes, folks heaved turnips at Vespasianus Caesar Augustus during the riot of Hadrumetum. (He’d just told the Romans if they liked their health insurance … )

Let’s take a sack of tomatoes out and try it on things.

Don’t tell your mom.

5. How much is cornstarch in the store?

photo credit: dirty tomato via photopin (license)
photo credit: dirty tomato via photopin (license)

You can get all all-natural stuff, even vegan fare, online for big bucks.

I can get it in Target for $1.39. That’ misleading, however.

Because before I pick up the can of cornstarch, I’ll check out the men’s clearance. I might end up with an ugly shirt or loud shorts. I’ll feel obliged to run past the sporting goods, toy department, and that aisle in the middle of the store that has a little of everything – all in search for clearance stickers.

70% off or more, if I can manage it.

Where do you think you get all these, um, great birthday and Christmas presents? Now, turn up the radio, girls. Did you hear about the kid who was disqualified from a cross country race for what he wrote on his headband?

It was on NPR.

 

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38 Replies to “Go Ask Daddy About Rooskies, the Fab Four and Daddy’s Downfall at Target”

  1. Yup, I am the same at Target and recently they closed our local grocery store to reopen as a new chain store and was forced to go to Target to grocery shop. And by forced I am mean very little twisting of the arm on this. But still trust me when I say that more than just food found its way in my cart during these few weeks. I justified it that I was using my Redcard and getting a 5% discount, but Target knows and outsmarts us all! 😉

    1. Target has those great big plastic carts, too. I think that’s subliminal. I don’t know how and for what. That 5% and the nickel back for reusable bags has contributed to a $2,981.03 shortfall to my budget.

  2. Target is what we call the “Devils” store because I have a list when I go in and about 20 items come home with me that weren’t on that list because they were pretty, or we need this or it was in the clearance rack!

    Rotting tomatoes work really well on a dog who was sprayed by a skunk. Just saying. But no tossing or explosion required, just smashing and working them into their fur. Smells awesome!

    1. The clearance gets me. I fist-pumped when I ran out of a med because I could go to Target.

      The tomatoes have to be rotting? I guess making it into a game where you toss them at the dog could be considered inhumane in most cultures …

  3. I love the Target clearance stickers. I bought a pair of sneakers for only $8.59, which I thought was a great deal until my friend saw the same ones on clearance for $5.00.

    Great question about the Beatles! They were awfully young, weren’t they!

    1. It’s a sport, really. The 70% off finds are the Holy Grail.

      I love that they asked about The Beatles. Any thoughts that One Direction was on the same path to legend were horribly premature.

  4. Rotten tomatoes, Spanish turd and the Beatles – can’t ask for more on a Friday 13th 😉

    The most remarkable discussion we’ve had from radio news was the fact that a lady who killed her husband was not being sent to jail because there was nobody else to look after her children!!

    Have a wonderful day and weekend!

    1. We get some interesting combinations, don’t we? Where is that story from about the mom?

      It’s a lot of soccer and even some pizza last night for the weekend, so it’s so far so good.

      1. Back then I assumed it was in Switzerland, but now that I googled it I can’t seem to find anything, Come to think of it, we don’t have many homocide cases around here, and when we do, the media are covering it to the full extent. So it may have happened in your country?

  5. Your Target reminds me of my trips to the dollar store. It’s like the $20 store every time I go, which is why I avoid it. Had to laugh at the turd in Spanish question. I grew up in New Mexico…. it is different! Is it weird that I now have the urge to go throw tomatoes at something?

    1. The danger in trips to the Dollar Store for me isn’t in unnecessary spending – it’s in spending a dollar on dollar-store snacks. Manitos, as my dad used to call himself and his people as New Mexicans, have different words than Tejanos do.

      The urge to throw tomatoes isn’t strange. I feel it this morning, too.

      1. Ha. Yes, mierde or merde (the French equivalent) are beautiful sounding words. Yet another example of beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is rotten to the core. Tomatoes may or may not be involved. L.

      2. My friend Nathan and I used to tell his older brother a girl’s name from our class, and he’d have to guess from their name alone whether they were cute.

      3. Interessant. What’s in a name? Poor girl whose parents decided on one that doesn’t portray cute. My middle name starts with J but is not Jaded and was almost my first name. My dad didn’t want J and picked my first name…I still wonder why.

        That said if I were born a dude I would have been given a name that all but one person I know was an FDbag to other people. Not that parental upbringing has anything to do with anything. The name says it all.

  6. I AM Russian and I still think about Rocky IV when I think about Russians. So.. uh.. I’m an 80’s kid, I suppose is the only solution.
    It’s crazy to me that The Beatles were once so young. It makes me sad, somehow.
    And rotten tomatoes is a great website. That’s sort of off topic about exploding tomatoes, but just go with it?

    1. It’s because you’re American. “I must break you,” is right up there with “Sometimes you just gotta say, ‘what the ****.” (Name that movie.)

      The Beatles were just boys! We watched them grow up. And then grow old. But the music.

      I will go with it, because I forgot about rotten tomatoes! I wonder what they’d say about this blog.

  7. Tomatoes definitely splat when you throw them. The reason I know that, is also related to the reason I am banned from ever returning to live in my old university dorm… particularly the cafeteria. On Italian night.
    I swear …. I never launched a vegetable in my life. 🙂

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