Guest Post: Tiffany of Sounds Like Life to Me, on Raising a Girl

photo credit: “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.” via photopin (license)

I’ve believed Tiffany’s words from the start.

“So my first time on your blog,” she commented, “and I’m hooked!” Sometimes you get sweet first comments like this. And then the person never comes back. I won’t find blame in this. You don’t know what life holds.

A year later, and she’s still leaving comments and has moved into that inner circle of bloggers you can rely on to read you if the rest of the world decides not to.

Tiffany, who writes the blog Sounds Like Life to Me, is here today, on my birthday, to talk about raising a girl. You should check out her blog. She writes lovingly of life with teenagers, critters and and amazing husband.

And she’s become an amazing friend.

Give her a warm CD welcome, and remember to visit Sounds Like Life to Me.

photo credit: Don’t Drop Him! via photopin (license)

Eli and I met earlier this year through a mutual blog we both read. Then to my surprise, he emailed me out of the blue in regards to participating in his “In 6 Words” post that he hosts every month.

Since that time, we have bounced emails back and forth sharing stories about youth, kids, life’s complications, our home state of Colorado and our addictions to caffeine. A fabulous friendship has developed in just a short period of time and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Eli is an inspiration to so many and just an all-around nice guy! When Eli invited me to guest post, I was not only honored but also thrilled to accept. I may have squealed a little even like one of those teen heartthrobs because his blog is kind of a big deal!

I am nobody famous, just a gal with a little blog that has become a really fun hobby and outlet for me. I have a small following which is really awesome and have made some pretty amazing friends all over the world.

We bounced some ideas off each other and decided we both liked discussing the challenges of raising a daughter. My mind started turning as to what points I should touch because on any given day, my daughter and I experience a range of entertainment between each other.

I have to say though at the end of the day, my daughter is a pretty amazing young lady. She is growing fast than I care for, while at the same time someone I look forward to calling my best friend. For now, I am still mom. ☺

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Becca at the age of 2 . She insisted that she and I were princess’s for Halloween that year.

The greatest challenge I have in raising my daughter is that she is now the age I was when my own mother left me, leaving me with nothing except loss, which is a story for another day.

I had nothing to go on in regards to the relationships between a mother and a daughter because my own relationship was so tainted and foul. I’m just kinda winging it at this point.

So many of the things I went through at this age, I have seen my daughter go through and what I wouldn’t have given to just have my mom there.

Let’s begin with mornings!

My daughter’s idea of getting up on time is only after the 3rd time in which I have threatened her very existence if she doesn’t %($& get up! This is usually greeted with a snarky “ooooookay, I am up” because it’s my fault that I am now a raging lunatic.

Clothing, where to even begin?

We go from “hell hath no fury like teen girl who can’t find just the right outfit in the morning causing the biggest meltdown of the century” to “the sun is shining and life is perfect because I caved and she is now sporting something from my closet because she has nothing to wear.”

I recently had to go shopping for new clothes because I literally have nothing to wear. The ability to share clothes with my soon to be 15-year-old is nice. The hiccup is when I want to actually wear something of mine that I know she has claimed as her own.

I have to venture into her room and pray it’s clean and hung up, verses somewhere lost in a sea of clothes that is her bedroom floor. The struggle is real folks!

Emotions & those evil pesky hormones!

I feel as though I have literally stepped on board the “Crazy Teen Train” with my daughter.

Within just a few hours of her waking up, we experience the following: hatred which s l o w l y transitions into mild irritation, followed by her seeking approval and then finally, happiness and love for all!

My little angle at the age of 4 Christmas morning.

Patience, my love for her as well as coffee, keep me from locking her away like Rapunzel some days. Sometimes she forgets whom she is talking to and it’s usually in front of a friend.

What is it about having a friend over that gives a teen that little bit of courage to be lippy? Is it because they think they look cool?

It never ends well for her because she is reminded very quickly who she is talking to and that negotiations are over.

I am usually immediately greeted with an apology, eye roll or heavy sigh. To which I respond “I know, sucks right?” which just ticks her off more but makes me giggle. I’m mean that way.

Body Image!

Two years ago this past summer my daughter tried on a two-piece bathing suit and what I like to call booty shorts, because well, they are. She pleaded with me on our drive to the mall to let her look at these items and I agreed silently praying that she would hate them.

Thank the stars and heavens she wasn’t ready for them! She peeled them off just as fast as she put them on. This last summer, we did this whole trip again only this time we came home with two bikinis, three pairs of tasteful short shorts for her and a bottle of wine for me.

My daughter is 5’9, all legs and only 14! She looked amazing in everything she tried on. I had to text her dad to warn him and tell him to remain calm. The last thing I needed was a meltdown from him.

Friends!

She has a keen sense about those she surrounds herself with. She has a huge heart and the ability to make friends and be friends with everyone but only keeping a few close at hand.

Drama seems to find her from time to time, but I have watched her effortlessly remove herself from situations or reach out for help when she knows she’s in over her head. I do not intervene unless she asks for help or I feel it is necessary for her own protection.

Her choices in friends have yet to disappoint. I hope this trend continues well into her young adult life and that I am always just a phone call away.

Boys!

This one is simple, boys are stupid and she doesn’t need that kind of complication yet.

Dating

See above.

School and Grades!

A year ago I honestly did not think either of us would make it out of middle school alive. She is a freshman now at the same high school with her big brother who is a senior. The beginning was a bit rough and I was truly concerned.

Then something happened. I made her go to parent-teacher conferences with me which she has done before, but something about this round was different.

The teachers spoke to her, not me, but her. They addressed her and made her aware of their perception of who they envisioned her being as a student and some were shocked when her grades didn’t match their perception of her.

The transition has been awesome because it isn’t about grades anymore, it has become about her and what others see. Regardless of what I want from her, she has to be the one to want the same and more!

At the age of 13 and decorating her art room for the first time with splatter paint and glitter.

Talent!

Motivation plays a key part in my daughter’s artistic abilities. I have watched her become an amazing artist over the last few years and now that she is in high school, the projects are bigger and more challenging.

She will text me thoughts and I will toss some ideas back to her and just wait.

I can give her all the ideas in the world, but until she discovers the tiniest of details, the work is stalled. Sometimes, all it takes is an event, or word, or image to light that fire under her and she takes off and the magic this kid makes is breathtaking.

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Becca now at the age of 14 – Photo credit to Greenchair Photography

Growing up, moms are the perfect image of what a princess really looks like. Moms teach girls how to dress, how to do their hair, apply makeup along with learning the importance of personal hygiene because as women, we really have to do a lot to maintain a girly appeal.

They teach us how to behave like a lady and when appropriate, show our horns. Then there is that terrifying change a girl must go through when she becomes a woman. All the evils our bodies must go through, how to handle the emotions and find an outlet when all seems lost.

Being a girl is hard! There are days when nothing is going right, nothing fits right, our hair is fried, our skin itches and the silliest of things cause a complete and total meltdown.

A girl just needs to cry sometimes over nothing and when it comes to moms and daughters, having a mom to just sit and cry with you, best thing ever!