Go Ask Daddy About THAT Dress, 👗 His Continence and a Classic Look for a Snack


12 11 lede
photo credit: Kaws Darth Vader x Stormtrooper via photopin (license)

The closest anything comes to viral around here?

GAD GRAPHICThat time (actually two) I got sick at Christmas. Don’t cry for me, though. (I suffered through in silence and got to watch “Bandits” – Cate Blanchett and January Jones.)

By viral, I actually mean something that takes off and becomes mainstream in an instant. Sometimes, that’s not a good thing.

Star Wars, for instance.

They’ve taken a bastion of my formative years and slushed it around in cereal and car commercials. Sacrilege.

Was I a devote Catholic (or even a half-assed one) I might take exception to the Pope on a Rope that became a rage when the Pontiff visited America. [This site has it – and some other rad “gadgets for God”]

Wacky shit makes it to the mainstream. Mainstream’s popular despite itself. There’s so much stuff there. Death, for instance. The web. It’s to blame for the viral side of the mainstream. Han Solo girls. Kale. What is it with kale?

Donald Trump. Alex from Target and the Wal-mart deli guy.

And … the dress …

1. Where did ‘the dress’ come from?

The dress appeared online as black and blue (or gold and white), and came from Roman Originals, a store in North London. (It could be yours for $70.) This dress got more attention than Pippa Middleton’s (with Pippa in it.)

This dress split the Kim and Kanye and pulled an F-bomb out of Mindy Kaling.

 

The night it went viral, I saw blue and black. By the time I had my breakfast burrito? White and gold.

It was the biggest case of mistaken clothes colors since Russell Wilson threw to the wrong dude on the goal line in the Super Bowl – which happened in the same month.

stormtrooper chicken rooster

2. Why do roosters crow in the morning?

Scientists “know” well enough to strip Pluto of planet status, but they can’t figure out why a flightless bird would wake up before sunrise and cock-a-doodle-do?

Bollocks, I say. Japanese scientists two years ago exposed roosters to all sorts of light and dark conditions, only to discover that even in the dark, roosters jumped the gun on sunrise. It’s a function of circadian rhythm, a 24-hour biological process that plants, animals and even fungus adhere to.

It’s basically what triggers me to want a breakfast burrito by morning, a supreme burrito by noon and cheese enchiladas by dinner time.

Did you know the Japanese translate cock-a-doodle-do to ko-ke-kok-koh? I didn’t even know roosters were bilingual.

diaper
photo credit: DRESS ME UP! ELLECBEE KITS via photopin (license)

3. Do you have those old-people diapers?

I don’t, Grace. I don’t. Age 44 is far too soon to retire the boxer briefs, kid.

Age isn’t the determining factor. The National Association for Continence says more than 25 million Americans live with incontinence, and it’s not just old people. Other segments of this population, you know who you are. New moms, cancer survivors, for instance.

Commonly, older people wear adult diapers. But age is no requirement.

stormtrooper life of pets wednesday wifi mcdonalds

4. Who is McDonald’s named after?

The McDonald’s brothers – dudes restaurant founder Ray Kroc found early in his entrepreneurial career.

Working as a multi-mixer salesman in 1954, Ray came upon a burger stand in San Bernardino, Calif., which Dick and Mac McDonald (cool name) operated. They dished out burgers, fries, and drinks efficiently, because of a limited menu that kept things simple.

One look at those changing menus in McDonald’s, loaded with wraps, frappes, and rib sandwiches, and the McDonald brothers might smack Ray with a spatula. I’ve wanted to.

[See the entire McDonald’s menu here]

popcorn container
photo credit: Jelly Belly Beans Buttered Popcorn 9/2014 by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel and JeepersMedia on YouTube. #Jelly #Belly #Beans #Popcorn via photopin (license)

5. Are popcorn containers red and white?

Yes. This is meant to distinguish them from bowls of Brussel sprouts, which are green and white, obviously. (Although in a movie theater, who could tell?)

Popcorn containers with red and white stripes sell online as “classic” or “vintage.” They’ve become symbolic with the food they contain. (Ever notice most fast-food joints have red as a primary color? Post for another day.) Carnivals and circuses often share this color scheme.

This striped mess must have picked up steam along the way, and made its way to the mainstream. Viral, in the days viral really meant … viral.

Pass the Vitamin C.

popcorn quote

44 Comments

  1. walkerkaty0 says:

    That damn dress messed with my eyes!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Here I go dredging up the past! Tell me your favorite teams, and I’ll review their most recent painful loss of note.

  2. No words to todays questions and definitely think those girls of yours ask some great questions. As for viral though pretty similar here it would seem!! 😉

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I hate when they ask something and I don’t type it in or write it down right away and in 10 minutes, I can’t remember it.

  3. Rhonda Albom says:

    What interesting questions your girls ask!
    I wonder why the roosters must crow in the morning rather than at night or at noon.

    1. stomperdad says:

      A friend of mine had a rooster (along with a bunch of chickens/hens) and that rooster could be heard all long.

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks Rhonda. It seems roosters do crow all day – but there’s evidence the alpha male feels he has to do it earlier than the other birds to keep rank.

  4. kismaslife says:

    Roosters and chickens for that matter, scare the #*! outta me. Not a fan.

    Popcorn is the afternoon snack of choice!
    Fabulous questions this morning ladies! Have a great one Eli!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Alektorophobia is what it’s called, Tiff. Make my order kettle corn. It was an interesting mix today, and I can’t remember what prompted them to ask if I wore diapers.

      1. kismaslife says:

        That one made me laugh! Sorry.
        And good to know… I’ll add it my list of phobias.

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        How long’s this list?

      3. kismaslife says:

        Pretty short actually, fear of heights is my big one!

      4. Eli Pacheco says:

        What if you had to climb a ladder to escape attacking roosters?

      5. kismaslife says:

        I think I would just die of a heart attack at that point or use the latter as a bat and start swinging.

      6. Eli Pacheco says:

        This has become a forum of facing our fears. Lachanophobia, for instance (the fear of vegetables.)

  5. stomperdad says:

    I love Fridays! Thanks for the question and answer posts. So enlightening. Perhaps I should be jotting down the questions my two ask…

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Me too, brother. I’m glad you enjoy these – I love answering the curious questions I get from these girls.

      I find as much learning in what they ask as I do in answering the questions. Maybe more.

      You really should try it out with your kids. Before this, I remember wondering about the answers, but who has time or can remember to go back and get to them?

      I want to reward their curious minds.

      1. stomperdad says:

        How do you remember their questions? There have been times I get asked a question and think “ooh that’s a good one, I should blog that one”. but my 39 year old brain can’t hold on to long enough.

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        I jot them down on paper or on a note in my phone, and transfer them to a Word doc (that’s 400 strong!)

  6. Holly says:

    I saw the dress as white and gold when I first glanced up when it was on the news (really…newsworthy?), but I could never see it as anything other than black and blue after that. It’s easier to concentrate on the fact the stripe patterns are very strange for the shape of dress nstead.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      What passes for breaking news, especially, now is a joke. This joke nearly divided the entire world.

  7. ksbeth says:

    i hated the dress! only because i couldn’t figure it out )

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      would you have worn it, beth?

  8. Ya know I never really weighed in on the dress. Didn’t care. I guess I’m a little out of the viral loop (like Kardashians). Great Q’s and A’s, Eli. When I clicked on the Han Solo link, the image made me laugh because today I wore a vest, not with boots though. Have a great weekend!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      The dress just gave America a chance to divide itself along different lines. I wonder what it says about me that it changed after the first night.

      If you could only see the questions just waiting in the wings, Lisa. Glad you like them!

      Maybe we fellas ought to start dressing like Indiana Jones.

  9. jannatwrites says:

    Had to crack up at the adult diapers one. My kids think I’m ancient too 🙂 I visited someone several years ago whose neighbor had a rooster who crowed at 3am. I wanted to strangle that bird.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      There are more like that, Janna. You’ll see. My kids believe I had a pet dinosaur.

      I think some roosters are just assholes. This is probably true for 87% of the fowl kingdom.

      1. jannatwrites says:

        Oh my gosh, I get that from my kids all the time. They ask if the bathrooms were outside or if they had cars when I was a kid. Just because cell phones weren’t a thing until after I graduated high school they think it was the dark ages 🙂 chuckled at the rooster comment… that just might be the case

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        I saw a rooster looking into windows at a Bojangles restaurant once, and he probably thought *we* were assholes.

  10. tamaralikecamera says:

    Can you imagine.. kale popcorn? Yes, you can! No, you can’t.
    The adult diapers or variations of them are very popular in my demographic. I have to say, it’s never happened to me. I won the lottery on continence, I guess. So far.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      That feels so unAmerican, and also American at once. Depending on who’s in office.

      What demographic are you talking about? Moose-chasing, cheeseburger-killing photographer moms?

      The lottery on continence! There should be a grip and grin photo in your local newspaper.

  11. I remember when McDonald’s sold hamburgers for 49 cents. Just thought I’d share. 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I remember when they put McDonaldland cookies in the Happy Meals (stupid apple slices). I’m with you, sister.

  12. Did you know that even the Elf on the Shelf is wearing “The dress”? Scroll down to no. 22 (or enjoy the post in full length) http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/31-elf-on-the-shelf-ideas-guaranteed-to-win-christmas#.hdq2bMYDg

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Even the elf is metro!

  13. Oh, the dress!!!
    Thank you for the notes on the rooster, and for making me smile on a rainy Monday.
    Heck, you make me smile even on non-rainy Mondays 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      We just had to bring it back up, didn’t we? Who knew rooster talk could chase away a rainy Monday?

      I could use a smile on a Sunday Tuesday, even.

      1. Roosters always make me smile. Must be because I have two living with me 😉

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        They’re cocky little bastards.

  14. Rorybore says:

    I was sure that dress was white and gold!!
    Also, I am guilty of having Star Wars cookies and Shreddies in my house right now. I have kids who are frantic about seeing the movie, so you have to cut me some slack on that one. As for myself — I went out and bought a vintage tshirt to wear to the showing tomorrow.
    Having spent much time on my grandparents farm as a child, I can attest to the annoying accuracy of roosters. 😦

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Damned dress, Rore. What the heck’s a shreddie? Did you see the movie? Is your T-shirt one of those with the thick glittery iron-on?

      Roosters have gotten roasted here lately, haven’t they?

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