Go Ask Daddy About THAT Dress, His Continence and a Classic Look for a Snack


12 11 lede
photo credit: Kaws Darth Vader x Stormtrooper via photopin (license)

The closest anything comes to viral around here?

GAD GRAPHICThat time (actually two) I got sick at Christmas. Don’t cry for me, though. (I suffered through in silence and got to watch “Bandits” – Cate Blanchett and January Jones.)

By viral, though, I actually mean something that takes off and becomes mainstream in an instant. Sometimes, that’s not a good thing.

Star Wars, for instance.

They’ve taken a bastion of my formative years and slushed it around in cereal and car commercials. Sacrilege.

Were I a devote Catholic (or even a half-assed one) I might take exception to the Pope on a Rope that became a rage when the Pontiff visited America. [This site has it – and some other rad “gadgets for God”]

Wacky shit makes it to the mainstream. Mainstream’s popular despite itself. There’s so much stuff there. Death, for instance. The web. It’s to blame for the viral side of mainstream.

Han Solo girls. Kale. What is it with kale? Donald Trump. Alex from Target and the Wal-mart deli guy.

And … the dress …

1. Where did ‘the dress’ come from?

The dress appeared online as black and blue (or gold and white), and came from Roman Originals, a store in North London.

(It could be yours for $70.) This dress got more attention than Pippa Middleton’s (with Pippa in it.) This dress split the Kim and Kanye and pulled an F-bomb out of Mindy Kaling.

 

The night it went viral, I saw blue and black. By the time I had my breakfast burrito? White and gold.

It was the biggest case of mistaken clothes colors since Russell Wilson threw to the wrong dude on the goal line in the Super Bowl – which happened in the same month.

2. Why do roosters crow in the morning?

rooster
photo credit: IMG_6018 via photopin (license)

Scientists “know” well enough to strip Pluto of planet status, but they can’t figure out why a flightless bird would wake up before sunrise and cock-a-doodle-do?

Bollocks, I say. Japanese scientists two years ago exposed roosters to all sorts of light and dark conditions, only to discover that even in the dark, roosters jumped the gun on sunrise. It’s a function of circadian rhythm, a 24-hour biological process that plants, animals and even fungus adhere to.

It’s basically what triggers me to want a breakfast burrito by morning, a supreme burrito by noon and cheese enchiladas by dinner time.

Did you know the Japanese translate cock-a-doodle-do to ko-ke-kok-koh? I didn’t even know roosters were bilingual.

3. Do you have those old-people diapers?

diaper
photo credit: DRESS ME UP! ELLECBEE KITS via photopin (license)

I don’t, Grace. I don’t. Age 44 is far too soon to retire the boxer briefs, kid.

Age isn’t the determining factor. The National Association for Continence says more than 25 million Americans live with incontinence, and it’s not just old people. Other segments of this population, you know who you are. New moms, cancer survivors, for instance.

Commonly, older people wear adult diapers. But age is no requirement.

4. Who is McDonald’s named after?

mcdonalds
photo credit: Mc Donalds via photopin (license)

The McDonald’s brothers – dudes restaurant founder Ray Kroc found early in his entrepreneurial career.

Working as a multi-mixer salesman in 1954, Ray came upon a burger stand in San Bernardino, Calif., which Dick and Mac McDonald (cool name) operated. They dished out burgers, fries and drinks efficiently, because of a limited menu that kept things simple.

One look at those changing menus in McDonald’s today, loaded with wraps, frappes and rib sandwiches, and the McDonald brothers might smack Ray with a spatula.

I’ve wanted to.

[See the entire McDonald’s menu here]

5. Are popcorn containers red and white?

popcorn container
photo credit: Jelly Belly Beans Buttered Popcorn 9/2014 by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel and JeepersMedia on YouTube. #Jelly #Belly #Beans #Popcorn via photopin (license)

Yes. This is meant to distinguish them from bowls of Brussel sprouts, which are green and white, obviously. (Although in a movie theater, who could tell?)

Popcorn containers with red and white stripes sell online as “classic” or “vintage.” They’ve become symbolic with the food they contain. (Ever notice most fast-food joints have red as a primary color? Post for another day.) Carnivals and circuses often share this color scheme.

This striped mess must have picked up steam along the way, and made its way to the mainstream.

Viral, in the days viral really meant … viral.

Pass the Vitamin C.

popcorn quote

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44 thoughts on “Go Ask Daddy About THAT Dress, His Continence and a Classic Look for a Snack”

  1. Roosters and chickens for that matter, scare the #*! outta me. Not a fan.

    Popcorn is the afternoon snack of choice!
    Fabulous questions this morning ladies! Have a great one Eli!

    1. Alektorophobia is what it’s called, Tiff. Make my order kettle corn. It was an interesting mix today, and I can’t remember what prompted them to ask if I wore diapers.

    1. Me too, brother. I’m glad you enjoy these – I love answering the curious questions I get from these girls.

      I find as much learning in what they ask as I do in answering the questions. Maybe more.

      You really should try it out with your kids. Before this, I remember wondering about the answers, but who has time or can remember to go back and get to them?

      I want to reward their curious minds.

      1. How do you remember their questions? There have been times I get asked a question and think “ooh that’s a good one, I should blog that one”. but my 39 year old brain can’t hold on to long enough.

  2. I saw the dress as white and gold when I first glanced up when it was on the news (really…newsworthy?), but I could never see it as anything other than black and blue after that. It’s easier to concentrate on the fact the stripe patterns are very strange for the shape of dress nstead.

  3. Ya know I never really weighed in on the dress. Didn’t care. I guess I’m a little out of the viral loop (like Kardashians). Great Q’s and A’s, Eli. When I clicked on the Han Solo link, the image made me laugh because today I wore a vest, not with boots though. Have a great weekend!

    1. The dress just gave America a chance to divide itself along different lines. I wonder what it says about me that it changed after the first night.

      If you could only see the questions just waiting in the wings, Lisa. Glad you like them!

      Maybe we fellas ought to start dressing like Indiana Jones.

  4. Had to crack up at the adult diapers one. My kids think I’m ancient too 🙂 I visited someone several years ago whose neighbor had a rooster who crowed at 3am. I wanted to strangle that bird.

    1. There are more like that, Janna. You’ll see. My kids believe I had a pet dinosaur.

      I think some roosters are just assholes. This is probably true for 87% of the fowl kingdom.

      1. Oh my gosh, I get that from my kids all the time. They ask if the bathrooms were outside or if they had cars when I was a kid. Just because cell phones weren’t a thing until after I graduated high school they think it was the dark ages 🙂 chuckled at the rooster comment… that just might be the case

  5. Can you imagine.. kale popcorn? Yes, you can! No, you can’t.
    The adult diapers or variations of them are very popular in my demographic. I have to say, it’s never happened to me. I won the lottery on continence, I guess. So far.

    1. That feels so unAmerican, and also American at once. Depending on who’s in office.

      What demographic are you talking about? Moose-chasing, cheeseburger-killing photographer moms?

      The lottery on continence! There should be a grip and grin photo in your local newspaper.

  6. I was sure that dress was white and gold!!
    Also, I am guilty of having Star Wars cookies and Shreddies in my house right now. I have kids who are frantic about seeing the movie, so you have to cut me some slack on that one. As for myself — I went out and bought a vintage tshirt to wear to the showing tomorrow.
    Having spent much time on my grandparents farm as a child, I can attest to the annoying accuracy of roosters. 😦

    1. Damned dress, Rore. What the heck’s a shreddie? Did you see the movie? Is your T-shirt one of those with the thick glittery iron-on?

      Roosters have gotten roasted here lately, haven’t they?

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