I Believe … I’ll be Back


ill be back
photo credit: Studying UOC’s master degree by night via photopin (license)

I tried. I really did.

I wanted to coast into 2016 with my fingers on the keyboard and that path from my heart/soul to my fingertips navigating my way through life’s many obstacles. It’s what I do.

I gathered the five questions from my kids Jan. 31 and shoved off. But, it stalled. So, I tried again this morning.

And this morning, I ran out of words. I promised certain blogger friends I’d never write a post like this, because honestly, they suck. Who walks away from their blog, permanently or temporarily?

I’ve historically had little sympathy for writers who stop writing.

If you’re a writer, you should write. I’m a writer. But, I can’t write, right now. Not like this, anyway. I hope you won’t give up on this place and the words that come from it, though. Because …

  • I have poignant (and hopefully not too late) words on another blogger’s page scheduled for tomorrow.
  • I have excellent interviews to post with Jennifer Iacovelli and Norine McDaniel on their books.
  • I have an entertaining guest post from PD Webb ready in drafts.
  • I have inspiring #GirlsRock interviews I’ll continue to cultivate.

I can’t stop I believe thoughts every day. Turns out I had an I Believe post I’d just wrapped up last week, one I planned to post on Monday despite what goes on in the real world, because writers write, right?

Like Ken Griffey Jr. when he benched himself late in his baseball career, I’m pulling myself out of the lineup.

Not for good. Hell no, not for good. Life won’t defeat me. I’m pissed as hell it’s doing this much. I’m pissed as hell as I review my life’s elements and that it would render me this way.

Words were always my way through, but they’ve dried up now, too.

My own words from days ago, the last I Believe of this post, will drive me forward. I’ll see you soon. In a week, I hope, but maybe a month.

Every day we waste keeping ourselves from something beautiful, something we love, well, that’s the ultimate waste, isn’t it?

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I believe ‘never give up’ might be the most essential words to humankind.

I believe there’s a lot of beauty we can’t see in our mirrors, and that’s where friends come in and reflect it to us.

I believe parenthood takes a sharp turn toward fun the day we don’t have to wipe little butts anymore.

I believe an aardvark would make a kickass pet.

I believe that to be a good dad you just have to try to be a dad. Or at least want to.

I believe there’s a profound peace in feeding the ducks.

phone pix 075

I believe I’ve found the best things in life when I wasn’t even looking.

I believe when your team is in the World Series … that’s all that matters.

I believe there’s a beautiful age when a kid can carry an enlightening conversation, and thinks nothing of holding a parent’s hand. Love it.

I believe life sometimes comes down to PKs.

I believe there are few hurts in life as crushing as your favorite team losing a championship.

I believe as parents we hope we could have contributed to – or at least not been a detriment to – our children’s big, beautiful lives.

phone pix 161

I believe some of the best and earth-moving statements are followed almost immediately by the thought “did I just really say that?” #PowerOfTheBlurt

I believe my soul feels a little like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors sometimes. Feed me?

I believe there’s a purgatory we find at a certain age when we’re not safe from pimples nor wrinkles.

I believe I have a shelf life, and expiration date. I believe I still don’t want to know what it is.

I believe love and tortillas aren’t the entire answer to life’s ills – but at least 78% of it.

I believe myself to be a bit of an introverted extrovert. Anyone else?

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I believe it’s in the unshiny moments of parenthood that we find the shiniest things, sometimes.

I believe aunts with amazing stories are winning. All the time.

I believe “Just sprinkle lots of cheese over it,” is a way of life.

I believe shrimp and grits will always trump quinoa.

I believe my best standup comedy comes while I’m sitting down.

I believe it’s better to have compassion in one’s heart than to win at Nab-it with a nasty dirty word.

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I believe the blogger’s mind never really rests.

I believe Kit-Kat and strawberries to be champions in their particular food categories.

I believe when it comes to aging, all we can hope for is a graceful descent and avoidance of the precipitous fall.

I believe when a car (and a person) reach a certain age, they move from being old to being classic.

I believe birthdays and burgers ought to always go together.

I believe food made/eaten with those you love is automatically more delicious.

 

tagalong

I believe a tagalong kid is just what a dad needs some days.

I believe man (and woman) can’t live on sugar alone.

I believe some roosters are just assholes. This is probably true for 87% of the fowl kingdom.

I believe so much of who we become is innate. As parents, we can lift a child a bit, but our main job is not to eff it up.

I believe gratitude and guacamole should be served before every single meal.

I believe churros are God’s answer to my prayer for a portable dessert suitable for driving.

churro
photo credit: Happiest Squirrel at the University of Michigan & His Churro (November 28, 2012) via photopin (license)

I also believe the right churro needs no dipping sauce.

I believe blogging without a sense of community and our place in it (as well as others’) is like eating a delicious meal all alone.

I believe caffeine and blogger friends are essential to my sustenance.

I believe sunsets, sunrises, moon sets, moon rises, meteor showers, Orion and planets that shine at dawn and dusk alone in the sky rock are the Creator’s swag.

I believe that in part of the evolution of humankind, the struggle that once was between man and sabre-toothed tiger has morphed into man and assembly of kids’ Christmas toys. Only sometimes are prehistoric cats the more daunting of the two.

 

I BELIEVE FRESH START

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67 Replies to “I Believe … I’ll be Back”

  1. Aw, beautiful Eli and I know I have truly been itching to write this week, as the blogger’s mind never really rests, but then have had trouble putting met words into action. So, get it totally. But loved what you did here and wish you a very, Happy New Year now!!

    1. does it happen often, Janine? I’d like to write for tomorrow, but I don’t know if the words are back. I feel like a diva talking about this. Writing as a whole hasn’t been good to me lately.

  2. Happy New Year Eli! Such a beautiful post
    and breaks are good for everyone. I don’t think writers ever stop writing, they just write differently for a time while they figure it out.

  3. Happy New Year! Rest. Rejuvenate. Realize that you are dearly loved by many. And take care of you and your family! I am not a writer. I’m not sure what I am but I understand the struggle and applaud you. Here’s to new beginnings, wherever they are leading! Blessings.

  4. Happy New Year, Eli. Even writers have moments when they have to live life and experience to accumulate more wonderful blog fodder. Relax…..you’ll be back in fine form soon enough…..the Force is strong with you!

    1. Happy New Year, Torrie. Honestly, I think the writing helps me more than anything. I really hate the tone of all this … but this is life, right? Usually, people don’t post like this.

      1. We’re here to share your journey, Eli, not just be entertained! Promise. You’re worth waiting for and definitely a minor blip in the flow of your prose just makes you a little more human!

  5. I hope the new year and the break give you the rest you need. You may not like to step back but honestly, sometimes things are too much and we must step back to take it in and process it all. I wanted so much to write an uplifting, hopeful new years post, but I don’t have it in me so I’ll opt for silence and leave the optimism for others to spread 🙂 see ya when you come back.

  6. With such profound thoughts about Kit Kat bars and feeding ducks there is no way you’re in a slump. Dust it off and get ready to go around the bases. Not every swing is meant for home runs, but it’s important to keep stepping up to the base ready to play ball.

  7. Eli – I wish you the happiest of New Year’s. Press the reset button and refresh. I’ll miss your posts, but I know you’ll be back when it is time and not a moment before. There are far more significant events and tasks in our lives than a blog post. Wishing you the best. Peace.

    1. Happy New Year’s to you, Clay. I have mashed the refresh a bunch of times – one of these times it’ll take.

      Thanks for the support, and I feel silly even writing all this. I did want to let you all know how much I appreciate you. Just a little peace would do.

  8. First thing, don’t beat yourself up. A lot of writers and bloggers burn out. I did. Most of my friends did. It happens. Life throws curveballs – *or insert appropriate soccer terminology* – but you’ll keep going and find your groove again when the words help you dig your way out. We’ll be waiting in the meantime. Happy new year’s friend. I love your believe statements.

    1. It’s tough, Jess. I’ve never really not been able to write, but the well ran dry last Friday. And that post on another site totally bombed. It was ill-advised and I regret it as much as anything I’ve ever written.

      I like your idea of words helping to dig my way out. I need it now, and I wish I could take back words, here and elsewhere. I’d love a huge eraser.

      Happy New Year to you too. I’m glad I had these I believes ready to roll, and I am glad you liked them.

  9. Been there, done that. More than once, even.

    As someone told me not too long ago, I know we haven’t seen or heard the last of you. Take care of yourself and see you when you are ready to return.

  10. Well, for someone who has run out of words, you’ve done a pretty good facsimile of a blogger 🙂 You’re a legend, Eli. Don’t worry though, if you need a break, take it. We’ll still be here when you come back, waiting patiently for your words of wisdom 😉

    1. I’m lucky to have compiled those statements for a few weeks, Lyn. I’m no legend at all. Just a dude with a blog. I think what I need far supersedes anything a blog can do.

  11. #ibelievetoo
    No worries, Eli. You do what you gotta do to keep doing what you love. Really, they’re just words. We’ll be here when you come back. I’ll leave the light on for ya. My cleats are all ready by door. I took two weeks away back in July and I think it made all the difference for the rest of the year. High five your girls for me!

  12. A walkabaout, huh? You know you should make it a kick-ass one!

    I’m gonna miss you here – actually I was a bit shocked when I read this – but I have faith that you’ll be back, writing, smiling, feeling good.

    Honored to have inspired two of your #IBelieve statements 🙂

    Happy new year, E! ❤

  13. I believe I will miss you. 😦
    Yet, of course, I get it. Also, I don’t think we writers ever stop writing. The words are always swirling and forming and waiting to drop onto the paper. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to wrangle them up and deposit them where they belong. And it’s okay – even good. I believe that’s probably where our most honest and profound writing emerges from. Maybe this month your words just need to stay in the cocoon a little longer. But when they emerge? Oh wow… I bet they will fly beautifully. 🙂

      1. It’s okay to embrace our mistakes. They are a part of us too. And what we right in the moment, is still valid – because it’s authentic. That’s what I love about this. Glad you’re still with us. 🙂

      2. Full ownership more like, Rore. and learn from them. I like your thought about authenticity – we don’t have to love it, but we must recognize it as ourselves. It’s a history of us, whether the world needs it. I’ll never go again unless I’m in the great beyond. Or break more than three fingers.

  14. I’ve had sympathy for people walking away, but only because I’ve been in a writing dry spell before. A years-long one. And blogging brought me back from it. That said, I think breaks are vital, because the lifeblood will never stop pumping. You’ll never be very far away.
    Me neither.

    1. I have had little sympathy for bloggers walking away, honestly. I can’t imagine a years-long one.

      You’ve come back in a huge way, though. I consider the days between posts break enough.

      I felt better writing than if I didn’t, even if it did cost a bit of sleep. I know you’re like that too.

      My hope is the words and timing and placement can retrofit to what they were doing exactly a year ago.

    1. Thanks Jessica. I collect these as i go, because I’ll forget if I don’t. Glad the words ran the gamut for you.

      I discovered the best way to take care of myself is to keep writing.

  15. All writers (novelists, bloggers, etc.) go through periods when the words don’t come easily. Time off can be the answer / remedy sometimes. But the important thing is to never completely give up on yourself. The words will come back to you, I’m sure of it. And we’ll be here for you when they do. 🙂

    Happy New Year, Eli!

    1. Has it happened to you, Sara? I think the fact that i said I was going to step away pissed me off enough to make me want to keep writing.

      During life periods when I wasn’t writing for a living, living wasn’t easy. Thanks for the kind words and my apologies for making them necessary.

      Happy New Year.

      1. No need to apologize, Eli. Like I said, it happens to all of us, so I (and your other readers / fellow bloggers) know your frustration. Just don’t beat yourself up over it. 😉

        What have I done when I’ve had writing blocks? I push through it. If it’s on the novel, I switch to a different scene for the time being. If it’s blogging, I work on a different article for a bit. Blocks are always temporary; you just have to find your way of working through it or letting it resolve itself. (In other words, every writer / blogger will have unique ways of dealing with it.)

      2. Great points – thanks Sara. I’ve just never really had a block. I’ve had ledes that were tougher to write, but never a time I looked at a page and had nothing for it – until last Friday.

  16. Beautiful post, Eli. Many, many of your “I believe”s touched my heart. And that squirrel with the churro made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that. Wishing you happiness and peace in the new year. See you when you get back.

  17. Hey guys. I just want to thank you for your support. I want to move on and try and get my life back on track, and that will have to involve writing. I have tons of regrets over the weekend, especially in writing this post. I need to move on and write and read your posts and live. Thank you for the thoughts and sentiments.

  18. Awww….Eli! It’s absolutely okay and necessary to take a blogging break from time to time. As long as you come back, or else. 🙂

    I have to take an annual break or I will lose my mind. There is so much giving of ourselves when we write, and we forget about that. We are sharing our emotions, thoughts, and lives with so many—it can take it out of you.

    Enjoy your time away. Go breathe in some life and see what happens!

    1. The weekend was long enough, Britt. It’s more like a blood-letting for me. A necessary process. The process led to a self-examination of what I share and how, also.

      To breathe in life is also to write it.

  19. I believe you’ll write more, and more in this year and coming years. Don’t stop writing. Writing is the mirror to the soul; we can check it quickly, comb its hair, put some sunscreen and get it ready to go, another hundred miles! Happy New Year, Eli.

  20. We believe many of the same things, Eli. Although I would choose Snickers over Kit-Kat, but we can agree to disagree.

    I run out of words sometimes. Many times. Or more accurately, they get stuck in my brain and life is too hectic for me to get them out. Maybe I need to stand on my head. Have you ever tried that?

    1. I figured we did, Dana, Broncos/Ravens aside. Our candy-bar divide means more of what each of us likes for each of us.

      I’ve never run out of words. That’s not always a good thing. Sometimes, they come pure from the heart but strike like daggers anyway.

      It’s hard to know when you let the words go what they’ll do, but you never really expect that.

      I haven’t stood on my head since elementary school. I feel like my next post would be an obituary if I did.

  21. Eli, I love this post, and let me tell you why. Blogging and trying to blog on a schedule and “keep up” with a daily schedule for fear that people will stop reading–well, it starts to suck the fun out of writing for us. I think we’ve all been through the same thing. You don’t have to start writing–and I know you’re laughing at that comment because there’s NO WAY we’ll ever stop writing. It’s in our blood; it’s our passion. However, you can simply say no to a schedule for it–at least right now, when you’re not making the majority of your money from writing. Although I’d love to be a full-time author, it hasn’t happened (YET!), and in the meantime, I’m chugging right along in another career that I love an am passionate about. My career–along with my two young boys, husband, passion for writing (I’m working on another novel along with the blogging–aren’t we all? Lol), workout addiction, love of travel and reading and sipping rum and cokes with friends–keeps me VERY busy. But writing is something that will always be WAY at the top. I’ll never stop–and I’ll get published or I’ll die trying. I will always, always do it. I will keep writing novels and keep my blog going. But when it comes to blogging, whereas I used to publish posts at LEAST once a week (sometimes way more than that), I now publish them without pressure. I publish when I want and I don’t worry that it may not be enough. I published 2 posts last month and so far, one or two this month. People will come back and read it if you put out quality stuff–and you do. So breathe easy and allow yourself to feel okay if you don’t want to put stuff out on such a rigid schedule anymore. Your readers will still come back! [My company just arrived, so I don’t have time to proofread this comment. Sorry if it seemed blabby…I just completely get what you’re feeling right now.]

    1. Thank you so much for this Shay! A couple of times, life has put me in a spot where it wasn’t easy to write – or this time, even possible.

      Other times, it’s been the driving force through tough times. And good times, too. I just read a past post in which I said life was good.

      It’s good to read that sometimes, too!

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