So, the girls and I lean right.
And that’s not about when I take a corner too fast in the Pontiac. We’re conservative, yes, and by varying degrees. Elise is furthest right, retweeting ‘Merica tweets and wearing camo hoodies. Grace trends toward moderate, an 11-year-old Libertarian who wants fiscal responsibility and social equality.
Marie? She doesn’t even want to think about it.
I fall somewhere around Marco Rubio – or slightly left of him – on the spectrum. I volunteered for the Ben Carson campaign, because he sent me a bumper sticker. (I didn’t even get a Ben T-shirt, but I ganked a roll of Ben stickers. I should put them on eBay.)
Regardless our spots on the conservative spectrum, it’s more important where we stand as Americans.
We get along every day with people of all colors.
We’re not anti-gay. We’d love for y’all to get married and adopt kids and know the dream.
We’re not racist. We get along every day with people of all colors. Even patriots fans.
We’re not unsympathetic to the poor. We are the poor. We can be generous, and still concerned over taxing and spending by our government. Let us distribute our own wealth, how about.
And we wish, all of us, that the two sides could just meet somewhere in the middle.
1. What if you were gay, and went to speed dating?
Then I’d look for a man with smiling eyes who liked Star Wars, but not too much.
I learned a lot about gay speed dating on Huffington Post.
I’m not gay of course. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I learned a lot about gay speed dating on Huffington Post. (It’s research, boss.) In gay speed dating, at least for the guys, there are “tops” and “bottoms.” That sounds dirty, but I don’t think it is.
I think tops are the masculine ones, and bottoms, perhaps, more feminine? I feel like I’m stepping in it right now.
See the extent I’ll go to answer (or not answer) your questions, girls?
2. How old is Abby Wambach?
Mary Abigail Wambach turned 35 on June 2, and retired a couple of months ago.
She’s nine years older than Alex Morgan, five older than Megan Rapinoe, both Olympic teammates. She’s four years older than Sarah Huffman, whom she married in 2013. Abby won Olympic gold twice and one World Cup championship.
Abby’s English bulldog, Kingston, can ride a skateboard.
She’s 5-foot-11 and a University of Florida alumna.
Those are the facts. These are also Abby facts, but even cooler:
- Abby’s English bulldog, Kingston, can ride a skateboard.
- Her favorite food? Burrito bowls.
- She’s the youngest of seven kids.
3. Is a con just a trick?
It’s a trick that leaves you not baffled by magic, but with a light wallet.
Or maybe with a lighter soul. Try dating websites, or looking for just about anything on Craig’s List. Sure, you can nab that perfect end table or live party ducks. Scams are psychological tricks that convince us that handing over our cash or dignity is a great idea.
It comes in other forms, too. Episodes I-III of Star Wars? Cons. Radio stations that promise “all of the hits” – then puke out the same Adele and Pitbull songs? Cons. When Taco Bell makes your bean burrito, but it’s thinner than a toilet paper roll? Cons!
Episodes I-III of Star Wars? Cons.
4. How do you pick a good mango?
Definitely not from a Nigerian prince.
SQUEEZE IT | A ripe mango will give a little to your fingers (don’t use fingertips), but not mush like school-lunch meatballs.
CHECK IT | A healthy mango will look like a football. A regular one, not one Tom Brady has snuck into the men’s room.
SMELL IT | A righteous mango will give off a sweet, strong aroma. A pineapple-y one, not one that smells like a cup of beer that’s sat in the sun for a week.
KNOW IT | A ready mango could be bright yellow, green, pink or red. You should know which mango you’re biting into, what season it is and where it’s from.
5. How do farmers keep the eggs from hatching?
They keep the boys away.
By boys I mean roosters. An egg needs fertilization from a rooster. The eggs in cartons in Food Lion haven’t been fertilized or incubated, so they’re just for breakfast. A rooster might even fertilize more than one hen’s eggs. It’s like speed dating, poultry-style.
Kind of makes me want an omelet.