This explains the two-shirt phenomenon you see in American culture. We wear T-shirts under T-shirts sometimes. Perspiration levels vary by boy, but in a normal office environment, we’ll feel 17 degrees warmer than the average girl in the same room.
This explains the girl-in-a-snuggie next to a boy-in-a-t-shirt phenomenon in your office, and in mine.
That’s a lot of explanations for a lot of phenomenons. It’s also why I had to stop at Wal-mart for a T-shirt. It’s customary for me to forget something every time I pack to shower at work – a towel, washcloth, body wash, underwear … or even a simple undershirt.
It’s customary, bordering on traditional.
I hoped to snag the cheapest T-shirt I could. Did you know a pack of Life by Jockey men’s undershirts will set you back nearly $12? Let’s put that into perspective. That’s like, two two-topping medium pizzas at Pizza Hut. Or three cheese enchiladas.
It’s a little-known fact that I like the clearance rack nearly as much as I do cheese enchiladas.
Who has time for that?
Before snagging a Fruit of the Loom jobbie for $4, I took a look at the clearance rack. It’s a little-known fact that I like the clearance rack nearly as much as I do cheese enchiladas. Well, not nearly, but it’s in the same zip code.
The shirts I found there.
Mixed among Duck Dynasty camo and catch phrases containing the name Jack that I had no idea about, were some shirts that said what they said loud and clear.
NICE RACK | The graphic depicted a trophy buck – during open season on innuendo
NICE STORY – NOW GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH | I’ve heard this a few times on sports-talk radio – which is why I switched to NPR from sports-talk radio
I’D TRADE MY GIRLFRIEND FOR A COKE | I mean, I love Coke Zero. Really love it. But …
The choices left me wishing for St. Patrick’s Day or Cinco de Mayo, so the offensive tees could tee off on cultures and not girls.
As a junior high kid, my favorite shirt depicted Grog from the comic book B.C., and the dialog bubble that said, “Where are the broads?” I get it.
Beer commercials portray women as a commodity, to be sprinkled around like a baker’s dozen of donuts or screened T-shirts not good enough to sell at full price. I get swoony, even in front of my girls, over Hope Solo, Kesha, Lizzy O’Leary and Pippa Middleton.
Despite my own T-shirt past, though, I’d never expect any one of those women to make me a sandwich. Split one with me, yes. Stand in the kitchen with me and pile great stuff on one? Please. Gah, that’s just … dreamy. You know?
I bought the Fruit of the Loom T-shirt, by the way.
I’d feel gross if I got sweaty on a July work day without a T-shirt under my dress shirt, you know? I’d feel even grosser with one of those shirts on.