#AtoZChallenge: G is for … Go Ask Daddy?

gad 4 8
photo credit: After the Clone Wars, Cody quit the Grand Army and struck off on his own, searching for something to believe in. via photopin (license)

Some things just fall into place.

GLike, the time I called Jeremy Mayfield’s race team shop on a Friday afternoon to talk to his publicist. All I wanted was a snippet of news I could use as padding in my racing notebook in the Hickory Daily Record. That publicist said, “I’ve been so busy with this driver change for anything else!”

“Oh!” I said. No idea what the hell she meant. “How’s that going?”

She went on to tell me all about the complete team switch happening between Mayfield’s team and another. I played along, and asked more questions as I learned more about the team transaction. It just fell into my lap.

GAD GRAPHICAnd tonight, armed with a $2 six pack of Coke Zero and a box of Food Lion frosted flakes, I’m determined to get my blogging on and reading on – five blogs on the list, to be exact.

It’s 10:22, and I’m wondering … Letter G.

What can I lead Go Ask Daddy with that begins with the letter G. I could go with gadzookery, the use of archaisms in literature. Galactophagist, otherwise known as a milk drinker. I could write of a gallimaufry, which is a virtual hodge-podge.

Just like Go Ask Daddy!

If only I could think of a G word …

1. What’s a protection program?

I fear the other six Colorado Rockies fans who remember the World Series season have been placed in a Witness Protection Program.

The U.S. government began the program, to protect witnesses against threats on their lives for testifying, in 1971. Members must leave their former lives behind, including names and personal effects. Typically an entire family gets protection, even a mistress.

Three cool facts I learned about Witness Protection:

  1. Families can pick from a list of possible new towns, but ultimately, it’s the marshal’s decision.
  2. In 1978, crime lord Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno received nearly $1 million and protection in exchange for testimony that convicted about 25 gangsters. Among the expenses: Cosmetic surgery for The Weasel’s wife.
  3. WITSEC has protected 18,000 people, and not a single one was killed by those they were being protected from.

2. Do piranhas eat each other?

Piranha rules state that the strongest eat the weakest.

These sharp-toothed, misunderstood fish – a popular subject for Grace’s questions – will nibble on each other if their virtual cupboard runs bare. Piranhas aren’t the flesh-hungry monsters Teddy Roosevelt and Hollywood would lead you to believe.

Like your dad, a piranha will eat any meat available in a pinch.

Three cool facts I learned about piranhas:

  1. Red-bellied piranhas go after tails and eyes when tracking down prey. I knew guys in college who approached dating in a similar fashion.
  2. Birds, caimans, river dolphins and bigger fish prey on piranhas. Having the sharpest teeth in the joint is no guarantee of a spot atop the food chain.
  3. Depending on whom you ask, eating piranha is either taboo or an aphrodisiac. Maybe both?

3. Do skeletons float?

Without getting messy with math, human bones, on man or woman, are too dense to float in salt water.

Without getting messy into forensics, bones of a dead person ought to be less dense than those of someone living, so you’d think they’d have a chance at floating. A skeleton in a living human will float, because fat and muscle disperse the body’s density.

I learned nothing of any real value in researching this question. I can’t even be certain the answer is right. I did, however, encounter this summation of the human condition:

skeleton quote

4. Can anyone but C-3PO understand R2-D2?

Yes. Luke Skywalker conversed with Artoo on Tatooine, as well as when the pair flew together in an X-wing fighter for the Rebel Alliance. Anakin Skywalker communicates with Artoo in a Naboo fighter, too.

Artoo, like many of us, can articulate intent and feeling with tone. Even beeps.

Artoo really does have a dirty mouth. Early scripts had him speaking plain English, with plenty of blue language. C-3PO’s reaction to Artoo’s potty mouth was largely left in. It’s more than Luke and Anakin who can understand Artoo, though. I found this:

5. Is Boston country or city?

I love you girls. Geography isn’t your strong point, though.

Geography came easy to me as a kid, even with the jacked up notion that the Atlanta Falcons belonged in the NFC West. Boston’s the biggest city in New England. It’s birthplace of Ben Franklin and Edgar Allan Poe.

It’s also the cultural center of the Masshole phenomenon.

And then there’s Red Sox nation. It would seem I’d be a perfect fit, with a beat-up ball cap, scruffy face, and unkempt hair. Sox fans can see each other anywhere (they’re like kudzu) and no matter what other divides, bellow a “GO SOX!” for a friendly response.

Gordon! Tom “Flash” Gordon, Sox pitcher from 1995-2000. Only Sox player to make it to a Stephen King book title. Yes! There’s my G word.

Whew. I wasn’t sure I’d find one for this Go Ask Daddy post.

boston quote



  1. rachel says:

    R2-D2 is a boss. great vid, coach. x

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      He’s for sure a badass droid, Rachel. Loved the video – glad you did too!

  2. stomperdad says:

    Glad you found your G word. I was worried Go Ask Daddy had no G word. I sorta expected G to be for Girls since you have 3 of them. But I suppose, in a way, this is about them. Sorta. R2 has worst potty mouth. They beep every word he says! I just bought The Force Awakens. I can’t wait to watch it!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Right? Go figure. G for Girls is every day around here, basically, unless I write about pizza, and then indirectly, it still is about the girls.

      Great point on Artoo’s censorship. The Force Awakens is the bomb, brother.

      1. stomperdad says:

        Just as much as B is boys around here. Our parrot is DW’s only female companionship. Is R2 in Force Awakens?

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        I can’t say, Eric.

      3. stomperdad says:

        I saw R2! The Force Awakens was everything I’d hoped it would be.

      4. Eli Pacheco says:

        Ain’t it awesome?

  3. Holly says:

    I asked the same sort of question about BB-8: how does everyone understand him? M came up with that it’s some sort of morse code/binary thing that’s universal and would come easy to those who are pilots or engineers on either side of the fight.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      BB-8 had that advanced propulsion system, too. I like M’s idea. I kind of wish I had a binary thing so people would understand me.

  4. I.L. Wolf says:

    I loved the show “In Plain Sight,” about marshals who protected people in WITSEC. I definitely recommend it, I think the whole thing is available to stream.

    A Bit to Read

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’ve never seen that show, but have heard of it. Now that M*A*S*H* is off Netflix, I need a new show.

      1. I.L. Wolf says:

        I think it’s on Netflix, I totally recommend it. It’s fun, it’s engaging, and the characters are fantastic.

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        I’ll check it out!

  5. Rhonda Albom says:

    Yea. Go ask daddy. You seem to have the answers. I like the mix of law and star wars – both interesting topics. I can see the piranhas go with the skeletons 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’ve gotten lucky over the years, Rhonda. I’ve learned so much because of these questions. Compelling mixes often materialize her, but totally by accident – I use random.org to choose all questions to answer.

  6. John Holton says:

    They say the same about White Sox fans…

    John Holton
    Blogging from A to Z Challenge Co-Host
    The Sound of One Hand Typing

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Makes sense, John – I wish there were enough Rockies fans to justify a “Go Rox!” tradition.

  7. Lyn says:

    Typically an entire family gets protection, even a mistress. Oh, that must please the wife no end :/ Puts a whole new spin on “make sure you use protection.” 😮

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I suppose people on the periphery also get roped in when it comes to something like this, Lyn. They’re probably shipped to another corner.

      Wow … that kind of protection is so much more permanent!

  8. 1jaded1 says:

    Yay, you pulled it off. 😉. Go Ask Daddy is genius. Piranhas have always freaked me out bc I saw something on tv when i was in single digits. Traumatic. Last week when I was home, some channel had a preview for naked and something. The shot showed a piranha and the girl said something to the likes of, “something just bit me.” Ewww.

    You did it! H is next.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Just barely, LJ! You’re too kind. The Man has frightened Americans with piranhas for generations.

      The whole piranhas-eat-a-cow-for-Teddy-Roosevelt thing? It felt real.

      Piranha biting is awful. Naked piranha biting reaches new levels of hell.

  9. G is for Google 😉
    I don’t think that skeletons float. At least in the movies I have seen, they tend to lie on the bottom of the sea, next to the treasure chest, still holding the rum bottle?
    Happy weekend!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      There you go. Or, Go Ask Daddy. Either/or. I wonder if my skeleton will have a rum bottle (or box of animal crackers) in its hand – or both?

  10. That last quote, substitute Mets and that is why I am late to the game here today as I had to watch the home opening day game and chauffeur my girls to dance in the middle of it. Seriously though was an awesome game and well worth the wait! Have a great weekend now 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Baseball hits closest to our souls than any other sport – it allows us to foolishly renew hope every dang-blasted spring.

  11. Heck I’d go into the witness protection for a million!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I think that should be a post, Rena.

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