#AtoZChallenge: M is for My Status Update is … Trill AF?

gad lede 4 15
photo credit: Blood smeared and battle weary #Finn #StarWars #FN2187 #stormtrooper via photopin (license)

So my boss said I was “trill AF” tonight.

MI had to look that up on urban dictionary, of course. It’s pretty bad-ass, actually. Totally not me, though. I just wanted to cap a rough day with a Red Baron pizza and a 40. Yeah, a 40. Only, apparently, I don’t know what a 40 is.

I bought a tall-ass can of Bud Light at Food Lion right after practice.

Not that tall, though. This can is my under-tall counterpart of the beer-can world. I bought, apparently, a 25. Twenty-five fluid ounces of wimp-ass Bud Light. Oh! The can says, though, there’s an extra ounce. And I’ll probably finish the whole thing in two, three sittings, max.

Life at the moment isn’t so much a bullet train running out of control.

It’s more a ride on a mechanical bull, only you can’t get tossed off it, because your shoestring is stuck underneath it, and the guy running the on button can’t hear you because of the loud music, and also someone left barbed wire in your saddle so you wait for the power to go out.

So, on to some questions from my girlies.

1. What happened to Commandant Spangler’s hand in Malcolm in the Middle?

Not even the Malcolm in the Middle Wiki knows for sure.

We do know this – Commandant Edwin Spangler, who led cadets at Marlin Academy (where Francis attended), suffered dozens of injuries. Those include a missing right eye, missing left hand, missing right ring finger, and permanent paralysis in his right leg.

Three things you didn’t know about Commandant Spangler:

  • None of his injures were in combat. He never served wartime.
  • He lost his left hand in a sword accident with Francis.
  • Daniel von Bargen, who played the Commandant, died a little more than a year ago of undisclosed causes. He was 64.

2. Do you need a new license if you dye your hair?

I almost asked a girl at work this. She has blond hair with blue streaks.

It’s tough to find anything online. I learned that in the state of Maine, you cannot use online Rapid Renewal to get a new license if you “wish to change your hair color or your weight.” You also cannot if your privilege to drive has been suspended or revoked.

Never mind hair color. I can’t decide which photo I hate more – my driver’s license or my passport. I don’t think these tips could even have saved me.

3. Does gravity repel fire?

Dude. This is deep.

Flames rise upward against gravity. Gravity pulls on air and the flame. The flame, lighter and warmer than air, gets displaced upward. It’s buoyancy, like what keeps a ship afloat. A flame in space would look round, because dense air wouldn’t be pushed downward.

That’s as scientific as I’ve had to be since freshman year in college, when I got an 8 on a science test.

4. Is this the same song (We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions)?

They are two songs, each written by a different man, both performed by legendary rock band Queen.

Yet, when they’re torn asunder … what’s more tragic in the world of music?

(Outside of Vegas-lounge cheesy renditions of Frank Sinatra tunes.)

Brian May wrote We Will Rock You; Freddie Mercury wrote We Are the Champions.

Without research into liner notes or lyric interpretations, let me, as a soccer coach, dissect why these songs need to remain linked.

(Are you listening Pandora, and every rock station from Walla Walla to Waxhaw?)

We Will Rock You smacks of grungy loyalty, of a gritty resolve to rise from the dredges and make something happe. It’s setting aside pride and perception to give what it takes and stand tall in opposition to the favorite. It’s a promise to give them 90 minutes of hell.

We Are the Champions represents a pinnacle, the very reason we toil at the bottom of the heap in the first place. “We’ll keep on fighting, ‘til the end …” Indeed. We are the champions of the world, even though it’s just a club tournament in Mooresville.

Top of the heap feels like top of the heap.

The opening stanza gets to me.

I’ve paid my dues

Time after time

I’ve done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I’ve made a few

I’ve had my share of sand

Kicked in my face

But I’ve come through

5. When are the next Olympics?

The International Olympic Committee has picked the four sites for games of the Olympiad:

Rio de Janeiro, for the 2016 Summer Games

Pyeongchang, for the 2018 Winter Games

Tokyo, for the 2020 Summer Games

Beijing, for the 2022 Winter Games

There’s a countdown on the Rio Olympics website. That means you’d better get on it, girls, if you’re to get on that USWNT by then. Remember, daddies get free tickets. And lunch with Hopey Solo. What? It’s in the rules.

That’d be Trill AF. Right?

olympics quote


  1. 1jaded1 says:

    You be trill…omg…such a derp for knowing that. I was always confused about the we will rock you\we are the champions too. I wanted the song to end after the first one.

    Yay Olympics…maybe I’ll get a tv…probably not. Happy Friday, Eli.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I didn’t know it LJ! I’m always disappointed when the songs don’t go together. It would be like taking the berries out of the Capn Crunch.

      Just read about the Olympics online. TVs are so 2010.

  2. ksbeth says:

    i took the girls bowling once and met a guy in the next lane who told us he was a rapper who went by the name, ’40 Ounce.’ memorable.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s good to know 20 Ounce remains available, should I turn my career track.

  3. stomperdad says:

    We will Rock You is your entrance music. We Are the Champions is your exit music. That’s a brilliant fire question! Great answer, too. If your girl(s) make the team, I’ll meet you in Rio!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I thought it was “Fool on the Hill” and “Yesterday”, Eric. I think the fire question arose as we sat around the campfire. Good time for contemplation. I’d go anywhere to watch these girls play.

  4. Holly says:

    Wait, what am I supposed to sing at karaoke if not “My Way”?

    Daniel von Bargen’s overall story is sad, he had a lot of health issues that led to mental health problems. RIP

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I say you sing “My Way” your way, Holly. I did read a lot more into Daniel von Bargen’s life. Yes, a sad tale. Truth? I saw too much of it in me, at least in pools, and it really hit close to home.

  5. Trillest says:

    a 24 (or 25) ounce can of beer is called a “Tall Boy.” 40s don’t come in cans. Tall boys are better because they stay cold & if you’re gonna drink God-forsaken Bud Light, at least make sure it’s cold. The more you know… ❤

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’ve been educated! So, a 40 is in a bottle, in a brown paper bag, right?

      It was a cold Bud Light, at least. I needed beer. I just did.

      Thanks for the knowledge.

  6. Nikki says:

    That bull ride sounds…mean as hell. Here’s hoping it’s a quick dismount with a fast recovery!!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It is mean as hell, Nikki – but I’m holding on! Luckily I packed my Kevlar khakis. I’m going to nail this dismount, just you wait and see.

  7. My radio station NEVER separates We will Rock You/We are the Champions! That would musical sacrilege! Rock on!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I might need to move to Canada, then, Jenn. Even with the lousy hockey!

      #RockOn #AvsAreGarbageToo

  8. Lulu says:

    Your description of life at the moment sounds pretty excruciating. I applaud you for being able to find some humor in it, somewhere. Keep hanging in there by your shoelaces!

    And I couldn’t agree more about We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions. To play one without the other is like a game at Fenway without Sweet Caroline. Just. Plain. Wrong.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      It’s uncomfortable to say the least, Lulu. I hate being brutally honest here sometimes. I’ve wasted a lot of energy pretending I’m a-okay, and letting down on that facade has taken off some of the pressure.

      Great analogy as far as the travesty of that Queen song coupling. Davidson College has adopted Sweet Caroline for that moment their opponent is officially squashed. The Carolina Panthers started to use it, too.

      1. Lulu says:

        Hang in there, my friend. There’s no need to pretend, though sometimes the positive spin and finding gratitude in the mess adds a little light to the shadows. One of the things I learned in partial was to never be afraid to ask for help or to make my needs known. Everybody needs help at some point or another. I’ll be thinking of you and am wishing you well!

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        You’re the best Lulu – and it’s an honor to add you to my blogroll. Thanks for everything.

      3. Lulu says:

        You are so welcome! And thank you, too! Keep doing what you do and spreading your goodness 🙂

      4. Eli Pacheco says:

        I’ll spread what I’ve got and hope for the best, Lulu.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.