Here’s Hoping My Girls Have Friends Like This

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Sisterhood can be a twisty thing. But it’s mostly illuminating.

I have three daughters.

I want much for them. Peace, not a pampered path. Purpose, not existence in pretend. Experiences, not empty days when the moon rises and sets without peace and purpose. I want to drive them places they want me to take them.

I want also for them to venture into places I am not.

The influence and support they’ll have from their parents will never cease. What of those times when she’s chosen to play on a new team, in a far-off park? When she’s on a stage somewhere I am not, rehearsing and projecting?

What of the daughter checked into her modest dorm, balancing new classes and training regiments and injury management, timing visits to dining halls and movie nights and bull sessions in a cow pasture with her teammates?

Part of me will always go where my girls go.

Girl friends, from A to Z

Places my girls go will not always contain me. Such a crucial element, outside of the roots and wings such talk evokes – Friends. She’ll need good friends, there for support and common interests. She’ll need great friends, there for companionship and belonging.

She’ll need exceptional friends, along for life.

Where friends come in, my girls, I wish for you:

ACCEPTANCE | Love you for your quirks, your heart, your spirit.

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The outlets, with Hayden and Camdyn.

BELONGING | Surround you with a crew much like you, and a little not.

COMFORT | When boys act dumb and life turns cruel, a soft landing place.

DEPTH | Challenge your mind and soul with thoughts you’ve never thought.

EMOTION | Demonstrate peaks and valleys unique to you. Show my girls a different way.

FAVOR | Advocate for my girls when I can’t be there. Stand in her corner.

GENEROSITY | I’ll bet my life my girl will give you what she has when you need. Will you?

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My school, my girl, our mascot.

HONESTY | Give it even when it’s not easy. Hold my girl accountable when I can’t.

INDEPENDENCE | Know when to stand on your own, and when to ask my girl for support.

JOY | Know that life will get us all down – but live joyfully nonetheless.

KIND | Hold my girl accountable, but also show her kindness. I’ll hold her accountable for the same.

LAUGH | Take on yourself, my girl, and the world with humor. She’ll laugh along with you.

MAGIC | Believe in it, would you? I do, and she’s been raised to. Let’s never let it die.

The moments *after* a sweet, smiling photo. (Still amazed no one went in the water!)

NETWORK | Never forget my girl. She’ll remember you for always, too. She’ll want to help you someday.

OBJECTIVE | Hold aside your love for my girl should the situation call for it. Do right, and do for good.

PANTS | Please, yes, never let her leave without her pants.

QUALITY | Know that I’d give anything to be where you are, walking, standing by her side.

RESPECT | Value her, and never stop valuing herself. Insist upon it, especially from her.

SANDWICH | Expect that she’ll share hers with you. And cut you the slightly bigger half.

photo credit: cabeza taco via photopin (license)

TACOS | See the above note about sandwiches. Understand that with tacos, all bets are off.

UMBRELLA | Hold a space for her; always know your space is saved for you under hers.

VALUES | Hold tight to them, even when yours and hers don’t mesh – especially when they don’t.

WALK | Steady your spot at her side, behind her or in the lead. The steps are what count.

YELLOW CARD | Have no fear of carding and booking her. Friends check friends.

ZEN | Find that peace between you, that place the only thing that matters is you two.

friendship quote




  1. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Eli, and so true. You listed a lot of the things I value in a friendship, too. Mostly the intangibles, like kindness, joy, acceptance, and belonging. And laughs, too. A good friend will that rare ability to make you laugh until your sides hurt and your eyes sting from crying. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks, Sara. So glad you saw truth in this! I thought of people I know who fit some of these for me, too.

      The intangibles are everything. Even when my girls were young, very young, I knew when I heard laughter coming from their play with friends, they were in good hands – and learning the best of life.

  2. You forgot Pizza – just kidding – as a grown up I still give my spouse the bigger piece of the sandwich, but I do not share my tacos or pizza – ha! Beautiful Father, Family and Friends – all key and what matters in living the good life with health and happiness as well as love and riches of abundance 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing. Happy Day – Enjoy!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Pizza’s kind of sacred. And I’m as poor as they get, yet feel rich AF, honestly. These kids! Great to see you.

  3. rachel says:


  4. stomperdad says:

    Great list here Eli. Especially, the tacos. All bets off. A list like this requires many good friends. I hope your girls have them all!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks, Eric. I felt I should keep things real with the tacos. True friends know. It’ll take an army, and that’s a good thing. I hope your sons find that too!

  5. Kisma says:

    In a word, this, every word! I ❤️ this!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Glad you saw something good in here, Tiff. Luckily, I saw a lot of these qualities in my daughters’ friends.

  6. Aw, this girl mom absolutely loves this so much and honestly couldn’t have said it better if I tried, Eli!!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I hope your girls are finding these traits already, JH.

  7. pilch92 says:

    Excellent post. I am sure your girls are sweet and kind and will attract the same kinds of friends.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks! I think they’re gems and hang with gems, too.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Thanks Jenn! I’m happy to say they do have a crew that exemplifies such qualities. And I feel my own girls have them, too

  8. Spanglish Jill says:

    Felicidades on raising 3 girls. Sounds like a tough job to me. Saludos 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Muchas thanks, Jill. It’s the toughest, and most rewarding, job ever in the history of Jesus.

      1. Spanglish Jill says:

        Sounds about right to me 🙂

  9. mocadeaux says:

    The perfect recipe for true friendship – love and support as a two-way street. Beautiful!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Pretty simple, isn’t it, Mo? It’s beautifully simple.

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