Pick a Genuine Gift, Make an Old Dude Happy


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I had to borrow a watch for this shot.
Disclosure: I was compensated by BikeBandit in exchange for this blog post.

Forty –five.

It’s a milestone. Not of the stratosphere of 50, where Over the Hill decorations and black balloons lurk. My kids have rounded up to 50 for my age since I was 40. At 16, a man yearns to be 18. At 18, 21 becomes the benchmark. No man yearns or benchmarks for 45.

What does a man on the precipice of a non-milestone milestone age do?

Especially if he hasn’t the gumption – or American Express card – for a full-on midlife crisis? He dreams. Not just of Dana Perino and Hope Solo, but of a personal sea change. Of a regimen of situps and planks, early-morning disc golf, keeping up with his kids.

He imagines choosing the garden salad over the Caesar salad, rather than expect a medal and keys to the city for even having picked the Caesar salad over a can of Pringles. (I did this today.)

He measures his growth and worth by the benefits he feels from meditation, from drinking more water, from closing a laptop when a beautiful girl with half his DNA graces him with his presence. He embraces a new style, one less suave and more … distinguished.

Rather than pine for youth he exudes a comfort level in his less pliable skin, a pride in gray beard hair and a noticed decrease in the ability to get after it.

He also hopes for presents. Not ties and yard equipment, usually. Bad-ass stuff. Stuff that speaks for a man on his plan, not on the lamb from his encroaching mortality. Stuff that’s edgy, but not too edgy. Like leather driving gloves or a shaving brush thingy.

Here are a few stellar suggestions. For the man in your life. Or, your favorite blogger guy.

A leather jacket

Oh yeah.

I sit at soccer training for Marie, on a clear, 50-degree night, to write a post with chilly hands. I’m ion a hand-me-down pullover from my brother-in-law if you’re wondering about my cool status. (Not sure who to blame for the grease spot under the zipper.)

I’d love a rad pick from the motorcycle jackets from BikeBandit. My favorite: The Alpine Warden Air Jacket. Is it wrong to start a Kickstarter campaign to promote the rejuvenation of my cool?

[BikeBandit also offers motorcycle apparel for the seriously cool. Not just the aspiring.]

The James Bond-esque suitcase

Bring it.

I’m a jet-setter if you consider one trip to Cancun for work annually, and drives to towns such as High Point, Lancaster, and Swannanoa,  jet-setting. Hey, the Super Bowl’s played just once a year.

The Carry-On from Away Travel is unbreakable (would have come in handy this one time.) It has a compartment for my shoes, for Imelda Marcos’ sake. And it has a built-in charger so I can keep the $20 Android and new-ish work laptop charged up for blogging.

And fantasy football. And Elizabeth Banks research.

A bad-hombre watch

I’ve spent a lifetime spinning from $2 Walmart watches to nicer models I received for Christmas or my birthday. I always managed to keep the plastic cheapos pristine, and deftly rub the face of a higher-brow watch on the nearest brick wall.

I’d promise to take better care of a new one now. The G-Shock watch is so cool they call it a timepiece, not a watch. It’s like pronouncing “vace” as VOZZ instead of VACE – only far less worthy of getting smacked in the jaw for pretentiousness.

What do you think? Which of these would make the best gift for me? Guys, what tops your wish list? Ladies, what are you getting your dudes? (Don’t worry, they don’t read this blog.)

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34 thoughts on “Pick a Genuine Gift, Make an Old Dude Happy

  1. Happy #45! You’d look rad in the motorcycle jacket with that watch on. Very cool. I wish I had the figure for one of those jackets and a bike to ride, but alas and alack my 2 wheeled ride is a Trek, not a Harley. My husband is one of the difficult ones to buy for, because he has all the “things” he wants. So, with his blessing, this year for Christmas, he’s receiving a healing session to help get rid of his high blood pressure. It likely won’t go in just one session, but I can’t think of a more meaningful thing than the gift of healing.

    1. Thanks, Susan! How could one not look rad in a motorcycle jacket? You would too. Even on a Trek.

      I know how it feels to not really need more things. I could use such a healing session, too. I can’t seem to get mine back under control.

      Let me know how it goes for him?

  2. Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday and I have purchased him some really unique grill accessories, a Game of Thrones model set, and a DaVinci Clock 😀 I hope he enjoys it all. For Christmas I’m thinking of getting him a 3Doodle Pen!

  3. If I could, I would send a professional chef around to cook you a slap bang three-course dinner of your choice. Wine, beer, Coke Zero or Pepsi Max included 😀

  4. When my guy turned 70 this year (he could be considered a cradle thief) I kidnapped him for a weekend of upscale city hotel stay package. Yup, champagne dinner and threw in the latest Jack Reacher flick. He’s not a leather jacket kind of guy, got rid of the motorcycle, and still appreciates his multi-function Casio watch. He’s foodie and fun fan. Easy to buy for.

    1. Now that’s going in style, Crick. That’s right up there with pizza and Indiana Jones. I love the cool “water resistant” watch that’s called so so that you can’t take the company to court because they never said it was water PROOF.

      Food and fun gets it done.

  5. Dude! Happy 45th! Glad to see there was no reference to cheese and aging…that’s a sign of maturity (which is not the same thing as old-age). I’d say leather jacket because it’s timeless! Thanks for the list – 45 is only a 424 days away for me (don’t check my math) and there’s no time like the present to start hinting (or saving)! All the best!

    1. Dudette! Thanks! I’ll mention cheese in 97% of other posts, as you know. More, if you count pizza references.

      I dig these jackets on this site. I’ve never had a leather jacket. A wallet maybe. That’s kind of the same.

      Hope you get something rad and kick-ass when you turn 45 someday, Jenn.

  6. I do have the garden salad vs. Caesar salad conundrum often. Same with Pringles vs. Anything. But have you had Lays stacks??
    I’m about to go drink more water and meditate but it is valuable information here. I pulled my brother for secret Santa this year. Although we are all getting my dad a TV. Even though I think a leather jacket is best.

    1. I feel like garden vs. Caesar might be the next Celtic vs. United. Pringles tops most of the potato-chip universe, especially when you’re not bound to share them with kids.

      The meditation and hydration, sure, it’s important. It’ll get done. As will your kick-ass secret Santa dossier.

      I hope someday my kids will conspire to buy me a leather jacket. Or a TV.

  7. Happy birthday Eli, I’ve got six years on you but as they say, age is just a number. Hope you had an awesome day and all your foodie and other dreams come true. Cheers. 🍷

  8. If December 7 is your birthday, then we’re the same! Woott! Belated happy birthday Eli! Glad to be back here.

    Hmmm. I’d love to have a leather jacket myself. Lol. My husband often window-shops for watches or shoes (that I cannot afford). We never buy them. We just look for cheaper alternatives that look quite the same. Haha

  9. Ohhhh definitely badass motorcycle leather jacket! That and nice jeans is almost as good as suit porn. Although I also have a thing for cowboys so if you can rock a cowboy hat and boots that works too. As for my hubby?? Hmmm, he already has handcuffs, a fast car and a big gun… not really sure I can buy anything that tops that??? 😉

    1. That’s what I’m thinking, Les. And by nice jeans, do you mean something other than the Target brand?

      Because I’m not sure I can deliver that.

      And now we know why the husband unit lucked out.

    1. You’re not late to the party around here, until the bacon bits and Coke Zero is gone. Truthfully, I’d probably leave my leather jacket on the back of a chair in a rural Burger King.

      That’s not quite bad-ass.

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