Guest Post: Rena of The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver, on Her Main Man


Rena’s married to a chucker.

guest postBy chucker, I mean a fellow who partakes in the revered art of disc golf. Not art and hardly revered, it’s the sport of choice for us jesters in this world of kings. It works for us, though. Rena’s husband is a good man.

It’s a good thing – Rena’s a gem.

You might know her blog, The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver. It’s a life many of you know, and for Rena, it’s more than that. Her words provide guidance and hope to anyone finding themselves in the role of caregiver.

What’s more,  Rena’s compassion and willingness to share tools and teachings about caring for loved ones reaches well beyond elder care.

Rena’s words resonate with anyone who has ever cared for someone. We can learn so much from her. Today, she’s on the CD to talk about her main man. Please give Rena a warm welcome, and visit her place, too.

photo credit: DocChewbacca Nap… via photopin (license)

The main man in my life

When Eli asked me to write a guest post I have to admit to a bit of fear on my end. I mean I’m finally coming off of the bench. It’s the last quarter and we need a hail mary. I’m finally on the field with the cool kids and I really don’t want to screw this up!

Of course, since I am far from being the athlete in my family I’m sure I’ll fall on myself as I throw the ball into the wrong end zone, but when a friend asks you to show up you do. Especially when you feel like you haven’t really been that good of a friend in return for these last few months. Eli is a wonderful person who makes me laugh, makes me think, and is always there with a friendly poke when you least expect it.

This was one of his prompts: How about, what your husband would consider a dream combination of pizza (what toppings?), what game to watch (favorite teams?) and ideal disc-golf course. We could use it to prompt women to say what would go in their men’s dream days.

Thinking about Eli led me to the main man in my life. The real athlete in this family. He’s a softball legend, a frisbee golf junkie, and a white knight atop of the horse. His only downfall and it was a huge one in my book. He hates pizza! I know! I almost didn’t marry him, but he wore me down by agreeing to provide me with a pizza pie once a week and has for the last 25 years.

He’s a normal husband. He goes to work every day, takes out the garbage, and kills spiders that alone makes him a great guy. He also runs the vacuum, carries the laundry, mops the floors, drives me everywhere, and even rubs my feet when they hurt.

He’s a sports addict. It doesn’t really matter if it’s football, college basketball, or a cockroach race he’s all in. He also canoes, kayaks, and hikes. One time, for a charity dear to his heart, he dressed up as a woman and played softball. He ended up on the front page of the local newspaper much to his embarrassment.

We saw each other and instantly fell in love. Love at first site, it really does exist. We spotted each other from across the room and the next day we moved in together. That was 25 years ago and we’ve never been apart. We’ve raised a blended family and now we’re enjoying grandchildren.

Caregiver, husband, and more

In 2011, I was diagnosed with a rare form of R.A. called Felty’s Syndrome. I once heard it explained like this: “Imagine having all of your joints slowly pulled apart. Now imagine that you’re not imagining it.” Now he has the title of the caregiver as well as husband, lover, best friend, and hero.

If I could give him his dream day it would be a day in Las Vegas with all of his friends and enough money to bet on everything he wanted. He’d take in a UFC fight, but he’d have to do it before 7 p.m.because he will be sound asleep at 8 p.m. Good thing he has cable.

Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest! Happy Holidays!



  1. Lyn says:

    Well, he’s definitely a keeper, Rena 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      She did good, didn’t she Lyn?

      1. Lyn says:


  2. ksbeth says:

    i love her story of love, compassion support and fun. here’s to you and your hubby, may you have many more years together –

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      it’s a perfect match, beth.

  3. stomperdad says:

    What a touching tribute to her man. I’m always up for a good cockroach race!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Aren’t we all, Eric?

  4. Thanks for having me, Eli! This should get me some extra brownie points or rather an extra pizza this week!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      How about brownie pizza? Just a thought. It was an honor to have you, Rena.

  5. pilch92 says:

    Beautiful story, he sounds like a wonderful man.

  6. Nice to see you here, Rena 😀
    You almost didn’t marry your hubby cause he doesn’t like pizza, that made me smile. I know you’re bigger than that! 💖
    If I remember correctly he kind of saved your life after you hit a deer or it may have happened the other way round, the deer hit you. Either way, you guys have each other’s backs which is wonderful! Carry on. 🍀

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Tamara, you have an amazing memory!

  7. leannelc says:

    I love Rena – she was one of the first blogging buddies I ever made and she continues to amaze me. Lovely to get to know her husband a little better – they sound like the perfect match to me 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      She’s a great one to have grown with, Leanne. Happy to have her in my tribe – or am I in hers?

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