I’m just not good at some stuff.
Some stuff you know about. You know, portion control and getting my hair cut at regular intervals. Okay, and there’s that keeping-your-car-clean thing, too. I’m also not good at promoting a book that I have a small part in.
And it’s a book an author who knows her way around the New York Times best-seller list has compiled, with a ton of marquee names.
The book is But Did You Die: Setting the Parenting Bar Low, and it features names many of you know. Jen Mann of the blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat has compiled a series of New York Times Best Sellers in the series I Just Want to Pee Alone.
My blogging friend Victoria Fedden, with her self-named blog, encouraged me to enter an essay when Jen came calling for this book. So, one night, I tossed something together, called Lessons I Learned from the Soccer Pitch.
Holy shit – Jen accepted it.
Things I might have done better
I totally acted as if I’d been there, though. I have – but maybe not to this grand a stage. I hit cleanup in a book called Clash of the Couples with an essay about how to talk to women. I might have spoken more eloquently about portion control!
I would never burst out on Facebook with “OMG, what am I doing here?” or “I’m definitely the worst writer here – OMIGOSH!” because I don’t feel that way. It’s the same, I don’t know, uneasy feeling, though, I get as a club soccer parent.
I’m not the same as the others.
Not worse, mind you. But, not of the same ilk. In But Did You Die, you have writers arranging interviews with Jenny McCarthy. You have top-of-the-table rollers, such as Samara Rose and Kim Bongiorno and Aussa Lorens.
You have movers and shakers, and, at least, writers who can actually afford to buy a box of the book they’re in to promote and autograph and sell out of the trunks of their cars (probably nicer than Pontiacs) and at social events.
Not that I’m feeling whiny. I get that way only when it comes to seasons the Denver Broncos don’t win the Super Bowl or my kids polish off my box of Capn Crunch. Among my sisters on the But Did You Die? ship are people you’ve seen on this blog, such as:
What am I waiting for?
I’m learning, from these all-stars.
It’s like being voted to an all-star game, but you’re Nolan Arenado among the elites such as Bryce Harper, David Ortiz, and Mike Trout. Yes, you belong. And yes, you hope to show just how much you belong, someday, somehow.
Maybe when you publish your own book, or Elephant Journal finally says yes.
Or when you get a chance to go to a book signing with another author, as I will. Alessandra Macaluso and I will be at Park Road Books in Charlotte on Thursday, June 29, at 7 p.m. There will be live readings that I probably should rehearse for.
See, writing posts like this, and telling you about stuff like the readings and signings at Park Road Books feels like Zumba class with lots of mirrors to me: Wholly, totally uncomfortable, yet kind of necessary if you want to play the game.
Here’s a link you can use to buy the book.
Also, I’m open to making an order of a few books if there’s enough interest. Other writers are offering signed copies at $15 each. Email me at email@example.com and let me know if you’d like one, and I’ll see about putting in that order.
Also: The Charlotte Mecklenburg Library will host Alessandra and me for an author meet-and-greet in January. Stay tuned for those details.
That’s it. I’ve finally reached the end, and have done my due diligence. I’ve read the other essays in this book – holy smokes. There are some funny mofos out there in the parenting ranks (and one writer without any kids, which, as you’ll see, makes perfect sense.)
Thanks for indulging me. I have an awesome guest post scheduled for Wednesday and more Go Ask Daddy questions, and a new Sunday reads feature I’ll debut. So it’ll be back to the routine, you know? Thanks.
Now, if you don’t mind, I need to find a haircut coupon.