Go Ask Daddy about thrills, bling and perils to the family jewels


stormtrooper japanese

You know how some things go really well together?

GAD GRAPHICLike, my mouth and enchiladas, for instance. (Why must it always be about food?) Every Friday, I write the Go Ask Daddy post. It’s five questions, picked at random, from a list of nearly 300 that my girls ask through the course of a day.

Lots of my blog friends write their gratitude posts on Fridays.

I’m grateful, too. Just because I spend the day answering questions about Jimmy Hendrix, finances and firefighters, it doesn’t mean I’m not eternally grateful for lots of stuff. In fact, I’ve started a gratitude journal, and it’s got stuff in it.

So, I’ll start topping Go Ask Daddy with a bit of gratitude.

Starting now.

1. I’m grateful for the fact that I got up and snagged a notebook to finally commit to keeping a gratitude journal.

2. I’m grateful for the first day at a seasonal job, chock full of positive things.

wings
photo credit: [SiK-photo] Day 29/365 – School. Work. Wings. via photopin (license)
3. I’m grateful for the membership warehouse member who told me I have such a sweet face and that I must be a sweet person. (She’s never seen me hoard buffalo wings.)

4. I’m grateful for Bojangles biscuits – and daughters willing to spring for breakfast in exchange for a ride to work.

5. I’m grateful for Hayden’s good-luck texts when I go to job interviews.

july4 sunrise

6. I’m grateful for Carolina sunrises and sunsets.

7. I’m grateful for Corey’s good vibe. (Check her blog out here).

8. I’m grateful to coach and write and the possibility to do what I love to make a living.

9. I’m grateful for the beautiful stranger and her dog, Ranger, who brightened my round of disc golf with a friendly visit. (I found my lost disc, by the way.)

10. I’m grateful for updates by text from Madison when pro athletes come to her job.

1. Do you like rollercoasters?

About as much as I like losing my golf discs.

Spinning upside down and going fast aren’t the problem. It’s the sudden drops I could do without. There are many things I’d rather do than ride a roller coaster with a huge drop. Taking a pop algebra quiz. Lose in fantasy football. Eat cauliflower.

Without cheese sauce.

I once tried to face my fears. Well, fears is probably too strong a word. I’d never pee myself over a rollercoaster. I’d never avoid a rollercoaster aisle in a grocery store if one existed. It’s more like an aversion. As I have to math.

Or starting quarterbacks who get you 3.7 fantasy points. Or cauliflower. Even with cheese sauce.

Anyway, the fears. My assignment years ago for the Greensboro News & Record: review a rollercoaster at a regional amusement park. Rather than pick an adventure – Six Flags and the like – I found the coaster with the least about of droppage.

It was also a water rollercoaster, right on the state line, at Carowinds.

It no longer exists. It featured a water tank you could drop on park patrons (I aimed for a mom and baby carriage – what??), water cannons on the ground to aim at the coaster, and a fast, free-hanging ride. The story went well.

But maybe I should have taken a bigger swing. You know?

2. Would cantaloupe be good for a smoothie?

It’s got to be better than cauliflower.

I found this recipe online. So, let’s try it. Cantaloupe makes my tongue swell, but I’m willing to give it a shot. I mean, it’s not Go Ask Daddy (unless it’s something he might have an aversion to), after all.

We’ll post a recipes post and everything.

3. You can’t wear jewelry in football, right?

Well, Denver Broncos defensive back Aqib Talib likes to wear Raiders receiver Michael Crabtree’s gold chains around his fingers.

Lots of NFLers sport the bling. Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, once known for his “opportunistic” bachelor life, got hitched and wears his wedding ring on the field. (aw.) He covers it with tape for protection.

Former Giants quarterback David Carr wore tape where his wedding ring would be.

Saints kicker Garrett Hartley wears a ring on his middle finger (for the Falcons and Panthers, presumably.) Bills kicker Ryan Lindel wears his wedding ring because he had a good game in it once, and his wife “gets a kick out of it.”

(Yes, a kicker said that.)

Neil Rackers, yes, another kicker, for the Texans (what if Rackers played for the Packers?), told ESPN he wears his because “I’m a strapping young lad, so I have to ward off the chicks any way I can.” #kickerproblems

Steve Weatherford held the ball on a potential game-winning kick for former teammate Martin Gramatica with New Orleans – and his ring became the center of controversy.

Gramatica – who used to wear his wedding ring on the field – missed from 40 yards and the Saints lost. It wasn’t because of Weatherford’s hold. MG just missed. Yet, a close-up revealed the holder’s bling, and the fan world erupted in blame.

Panthers kicker John Kasay, used to wear a watch.

I can’t even type while wearing a watch, let alone kick a 47-yard field goal. Bracelets, rings, brass knuckles … they’d all cramp my style. A grill, though. I could handle a grill.

get paid
photo credit: Thomas Hawk via photopin cc

4. When do you get paid?

So appropriate right now!

I get paid after I work. I know that sounds simple. I have a job at Target – but have only one shift under my belt. I tried to help a nice lady find a sticky mosaic, but we didn’t have any. Our unemployment benefits have been stop-and-go.

That’s why we’ve been cracking open piggy banks to buy shampoo and toothpaste.

I’ll get paid soon. I’ll have a check from the Associated Press. It’s hard to believe I’ve been a correspondent for them for more than 10 years! Girls, I have more than a handful of possibilities, of future employers who’ve called back and put me in round 2 or 3.

One even wants me to come in to meet the crew after a good phone interview last week.

5. Does anyone owe you a shot to the nuts?

If only there were a dashboard to check on these things. This question came from the movie that changed the girls’ (or at least Camdyn’s, possibly Hayden’s) life: Hot Rod. See the actual scene with this question here.

To earn a shot to the nuts, in my estimation, you must commit an infraction that crosses multiple lines, or, at least, bring great dishonor to a family name or tribe.

Or, just piss someone off. All this Zenified live-and-let-live living I’ve been embroiled in, as a wonderful side effect, brings a life with low chances of nut shots. Maybe by the coach at Fletcher School, after trying them on their home field, would qualify.

That was nothing with ill intent – they beat us twice after that, which cancels out any thoughts of a shot.

In college, I experienced the wrath of an accidental shot to the nuts. I worked in a membership warehouse. We all wore blue vests and radios, with a receiver on a clip, attached by a coiled wire, from the radio to our collar.

One day, my good buddy Bobby and I were horsing around a bit on a shift.

I pulled his receiver off his collar and stretched it as far as the coil would let me, then let go. It rocketed back to Bobby and crushed him where it counts. It wasn’t intentional, but as he went to one knee in agony, I made a quick escape.

Surely he’d forgive and forget, right?

No. Later that day, I was helping a pretty mom and her pretty daughter pick out some pretty pillows for the girl’s dorm room. I wasn’t running game, per se, but I was working the angles. Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted off the ground.

Mom and her co-ed daughter watched with wide eyes as Bobby tossed me headfirst into the bin of pillows.

I had to struggle to breathe, first of all, and then find the edge of the bin of pillows and right myself. When I poked my head above the pillows, only the mom remained. She had a pillow under each arm, and asked, what’d you do to deserve that? … laughing.

If she only knew …

otis balls-

# # #

Advertisements

49 thoughts on “Go Ask Daddy about thrills, bling and perils to the family jewels

    1. Thanks, Beth! I want just to get back in my routine with writing and reading, just knowing where the job part of me will be.

      I don’t really hunt, but hitting clearance aisles at Target is really damned close, isn’t it?

  1. I don’t like rollercoasters because they make me throw up. Throwing up is probably one of the least-fun things in the world. Good luck with all the job stuff! I like Target, but I mostly just go there for the food and books. I have no idea what’s in the rest of the store.

    1. Yes, like cooked carrots – if they make you vomit, why get them? There’s probably a blog post in that – a list of the least-fun things in the world.

      Thanks about the job stuff! Something has to happen eventually. I would imagine a majority of your shopping ventures anywhere begin and end with books and food!

  2. I loved reasfkng these :). And the questions your daughters asked. For instance, I never knew players could wear jewelry on the field ambit it makes sense that some would want their rings taped up. Gold chains still seems dangerous but what do I know…even if not wrapped around a neck.

    That last story about your coworker made me laugh 🙂 and the mom who wondered what you did to deserve it, ha!

    I have an aversion to roller coasters, personally… but I do like the log flume? That’s about as scary as it gets.

    Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend—always good to be back here 😉

  3. So many things to be happy and have gratitude about. I have to admit it though. You kind of lost mom at the mention of Bojangles. Her mouth started watering of the thoughts of their fried chicken. Snorts with piggy laughter. Hope you doing awesome coach! XOXO – Bacon

    1. The list goes on and on, Bake. I’m with you on the Bojangles Effect. Madison took me to lunch there yesterday for taking her to work. Now that’s love. Great to see you again my friend!

  4. Good luck with the job hunt! It sounds like things are getting close!! I can’t handle those roller coaster drops either! I don’t mind the fast or spinny rides but the drops are the worst!

    1. Thanks, Jen. There’s a fine line between close and not, but it feels within reach, for sure. In high school, I once went up a huge slide with a massive drop (we went down on guinea sacks) because the attendant at the top was cute. Yes, spin me like the wash cycle, but please don’t drop me!

  5. I should make a list more often of the things I am grateful for. Like the Yorkie currently sitting on my shoulder because he doesn’t feel well. 😓 He is going to be ok because I have an awesome vet, but in the meantime, he needs to be comforted by mommy.
    I love rollercoasters, but they don’t love me. I am a bit of a thrill seeker as long as I don’t sense real danger. You know? Like skydiving and well, roller coasters! 😉
    Love cantelope, but have never tried it in a smoothie…hmm
    You just can’t help yourself with the football references can you? LOL!
    I haven’t received a paycheck in a very long time. I am blessed to have a wonderful spouse who makes enough to allow “student” be my job for now. 😉
    I pray that anyone else who may “owe you” forgets!! But if they do, hopefully there will be another bin of pillows to break your fall! ❤

    1. The gratitude practice has been wonderful, and I’m way overdue to add to the list, Courtney. How’s the Yorkie? Maybe his gratitude list would include you.

      Isn’t there a real danger in skydiving? I mean, not like in eating month-old leftovers, but still.

      We’d better try this cantaloupe smoothie before the melon goes bad!

      I kind of see life through the lens of football, and football through the lens of life. How’s that?

      I’ll keep a lookout and be ready to cover myself, just in case.

      1. Yorkie is much better thanks. Likes to dig in the yard and go after the gophers which is what they are bred for. But unfortunately he always ends up with dirt in his mouth and managed to get a parasite called Giardia which can be treated.
        I love skydiving and would do it every weekend if I could. I never feel fear.. never feel like I am falling. It is an incredible feeling!!
        You and football…. smh 😂😙

      2. The Yorkie is much better..thanks for asking. He likes to dig in the yard for gophers bc that is what they were bred for but unfortunately he gets dirt in his mouth and managed to get a parasite called Giardia. It is treatable and he is going to be ok.
        I love skydiving!! I never feel fear and I never feel like I am falling. I would do it every weekend if I could. Hubby wouldn’t like that.. but I SOOO would!! It is an incredible feeling!!
        Just stand near pillow bins while out in public, then you should be safe!! Ha ha ha!
        You and football…smh😂😙

      3. This is the exact reason I don’t eat dirt! Well, one of them. I’m glad he’s on the road back.

        It could be worse, for football. I could be into Hallmark romance movies. (Wait, what if I was?)

  6. My friend and elderly neighbour gave me a Target gift card for my birthday two weeks ago. I’m not sure what to buy. I don’t need any cushions, but I could do with a toaster oven or a steam mop. I suppose I could add a few dollars to it and buy both. Or maybe I’ll just buy a couple of new dressy t-shirts. ~sigh~ the choices are endless.

  7. I once took a soccer ball to “the boys”. Dropped me to my knees and they stopped the game. I wish I would have seen seen who kicked it so I could give him his shot. Oh well.. had to live and let live.

  8. I wish I could have transferred my love of rollercoasters to you. Something about the rush of feeling G forces, or lack thereof. My favorite part of airplane trips is still take off and landing. But having trashed a disc in my back a number of years ago, I can’t do rollercoasters any longer. Or trampolines.

    1. I would accept that transfer. I’d rather try other thrills – you know, like wearing stripes and plaids together. Airplanes, I can take all day, even with turbulence. Maybe we’d better just get a table and a couple of donuts.

  9. Those buffalo wings look so good. We are having summer now so I’m enjoying smoothies (never tried one with canteloupe though). Or cauliflour.
    Good luck with the interviews – that is great that you’ve been called back and are in round 2 or 3. Hope you get good news soon.

    1. It’s 6:44 a.m., and I wouldn’t mind a plate of those wings right now. What goes in your favorite smoothie? (We still haven’t tried the cantaloupe!)

      Thanks for the good luck! I just need to find one good fit, you know? Hey, do you have a new blog URL?

      1. You can’t go wrong with strawberries. A bought smoothie is still better for you than a home-made biscuit with sausage, egg and cheese but I’ve just made myself want a second breakfast.

        I’ll keep you bookmarked so I check out your writing again! Good luck fixing it.

  10. The image of you sheepishly peering out of the pillow bin while still trying to look all suave makes me giggle.

    Good luck with the job search. I hope you get the call you’re hoping for and that it’s full of good news.

  11. I second that, you can’t go wrong with strawberries. 🙂

    Eli, I’m so glad you’ve started a gratitude journal. Everywhere you look, every single day, there’s gratitude and moments we could all take cues from. I’m sure you’ll find it a great exercise. 🙂 Good luck on all your interviews and I hope you keep impressing them and moving along in the interview process.
    Thinking of you….

    xoxo!

    1. So right on strawberries! I’m glad I started the journal, too, Linds. Hey, don’t you do a linkup for gratitude, too? Or contribute to one?

      It’s been a wonderful exercise, although I’m trying to expand beyond food and football in my practice. It’ll take some time.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes! I just need one kickass job offer. Just one. An interview yesterday went wonderfully, so I’m hopeful.

  12. Hi Eli! Came to check on you because you left your deets on my blogger intro list. Lovely blog, love the template. TIL: players wear bling on the field, or is it Pitch? Lol.

    1. Hello! So glad to see you here – I just read (and enjoyed) your piece on women missing getting hit on. Thanks for the kind words about this place – your place rocks, too.

      In this case, it’s the field where players bling it out. I don’t see lots of jewelry on the soccer pitch! (Except for my daughter, who wore three earrings in each ear for her first game!)

Say what you need to say

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s