One week in.
I made it this far. Not gracefully. It’s 1:14 and I promised myself 1 hour, 14 minutes ago to get to bed at midnight like a normal person. Wait. Don’t normal people get to sleep at even decenter hours than that?
Blogging again has been better than any of the high school reunions I never went to.
I’m seeing friends again and spending less time in aimless pursuits. I’m also falling asleep at inopportune times and really need to work on that. I have a fantastic guest post live just before this one that deserves a load of promotion as big as the donuts I dream of.
So many moving parts.
Some bring unequaled joy and others sadness I try not to dwell on. That connectedness I value with my girls changes by the day, like those level levers on an old-time stereo. They slide and change what you hear and you adjust but they’ll never always be equal.
I’m just grateful to be in it. What else?
1-The process. If I could just maintain it. Or understand it enough to give me the best shot at it. I try to imagine a day in which I nail all my “if thens” and it feels incredible.
2-Taking chances, regardless of results. The losses pile up. But you can’t quantify yourself by the rejections. Because often there are acceptances out there you don’t know about yet.
3-Meditation, and support from loved ones. I value the chance to start my day in my mind. I’m grateful for a sandwich or nice shirt or warm jacket was given to me with love.
4-Messages that deliver smiles. You shouldn’t expect them. We can’t broadcast what we want others to do. We just have to be ready when they do something that stops you in your tracks.
5-Conversations. Sometimes, it takes patience. Not looking for it. Just take up your space in a meaningful way and you’ll be surprised at what comes. This is harder than it seems.
6-Abu the goofy-ass cat. He stole my dinner and chewed on my bag. But his brand of aloof endears me to him, too. He’s playful and a jerk sometimes and always loveable.
7-My journal. It’s childlike and cookie-stained and almost full. It’s helped me keep the wheels on. Even if I do fall asleep mid-word writing in it.
8-Deep sleep. It happens sitting nearly upright in a recliner. After a beer. (Honestly, is anything more dadlike?) But it takes over when I need it most, wherever I am.
9-A new perspective. I feel closer. Not at all outside the grasp of burdensome grief. But much more in the proximity to a higher life, I aspire for myself.
10-Hayden’s decisions. She weeded out some schools who showed interest and let one place in she didn’t want to consider. She invited my mom and sister to her official signing when I would have given up hope. She packed a room of teammates, family, and friends who have invested in her journey, prayed through her injury, and send her off to Piedmont International University with the hope and love she’s shared with them along the way.
What about you? What has you giving gratitude today?
I was just thinking that this week on Facebook/Twitter has been a struggle with all of the news stories and it’s so easy to start thinking the other person is an idiot. Even though they are 100% an idiot. But I just didn’t say it. I didn’t try to show them actual facts because I’m realizing they don’t care. You can tell them the sky is blue but if they really believe it’s pink, it’s pink. But it was so freeing to just scroll past everything, delete some people, get out of some groups, and my feed is a completely different experience. So that was pretty much the only high point of this week.
That’s not insignificant, though, Sara. There’s power in that, momentum. Not getting caught in the quadmire. And especially that freeing feeling of deleting a contact or follow, and watching the image fade away forever.
If you can do that … what’s next?
I’m glad Hayden found a school that feels right to her! I hope it goes well for her next year. Your kitty is cute. Our cat likes to steal food too. So naughty. Totally laughing at the sleeping in the chair. After a beer. I won’t say if I’ve been in the same shoes before or not…have a great weekend friend!
So another Pacheco young lady is off to college. Congratulations-you’re getting there.
Congratulations to Hayden, and i am thankful you are back and posting.
today, i am grateful to have spent the day with my kinders who were laughing, speaking spanish at my level and outdoing with my bad zumba-ing, but at least i can still move. now i am grateful for the joy of a quiet night in, relaxing, reading, writing, and just being calm. this weekend i hope to see at least 4 out of 6 grannies and i’m so thankful for the whole crazy 6-pack of them.
oops – grandies )
I’m trying to get into a blogging groove myself again… I’m thankful for making time to read other blogs as a start and some inspiration!
Congrats to your girl. We are waiting for college acceptances for our boy. It’s all a bit stressful and crazy but we are being hopeful.
I’m grateful you’re back to blogging more often. Congrats on the college signing!
I love that your girls are too cool for the squad hat and that you would have purchased it if it said squid instead🤣 I also love that you know better than to piss off the universe—that cereal is begging to be eaten!
Awww your kitty is so cute, and I miss my Buster so much. I am thinking we need another animal in our lives, stat. Just too lonely without one.
Also. I don’t know what a decent sleep hour is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t sleep at that time either. Aren’t there studies about how much smarter we are than the average sleep-at-a-decent-hour humans? I think I maybe just made that up, but sounds legit.
They wouldn’t be enthused about the squid hat, but I can live with that, Charlotte.
We went about a year between pets. It was quiet and sad, but the carpet got a rest. Abu isn’t horrible on carpet, just my dinner on the counter apparently!
Decent sleep hours … who knows? I’d probably sleep through it. Or be up writing (or eating cereal). Who knows?
I sure hope we’re smarter. There has to be a reward better than watching infomercials while we struggle to reach that publish button!
Congrats to Hayden! And yes to taking chances and seeing what happens. Here’s to way more success than failure!!
Thank you! And here’s to failure remaining a constant teacher.
Congratulations to Hayden!
This list is great and yes to meditation (I only learnt last month how to do it and it is amazing!)
Taking chances is a risk but can be so well worth it. If not, then there is a lesson in there somewhere and one less “if only” to look back on.
Deep sleep is amazing and makes such a difference to ones day!
Hope you have a great week.
Thank you! And I’m so glad you’ve started meditation. I’m not sure where I’d be without it. I’d rather take a chance and crash than to wonder. Most times. Not like, choosing sushi over a cheeseburger kind of chances.
That’s just crazy.
Congrats to Hayden on making what must be a very difficult decision!
I definitely need to make my new weekly gratitude list but the thing I am most grateful for is the support I get from those who love me while I have my meltdowns over school and life. I don’t have them often and I feel completely vulnerable when I do so I don’t show them to very many people. On the outside I look “fine” but there are the ones close enough to me who send me texts… like this am. “Why do I feel like there is something going on with you?” and she was right… nothing major, but it is not one of my better days. I am sad and stressed but I will get over it. There are my friends and family who will not let me stay in my hole.. lol! ❤
How are you? Love your list for last week. Boy do I need to get me some yoga and meditation in my life again, I was in a much better headspace then but I’ve just struggled to make time and find something that works and that I also enjoy.
I’m so glad that your girl found a school that feels good for her, and good for her for considering some options that she wouldn’t normally.
Love your cat. 🙂 Looks like a crafty little bugger lol
Hope you had a great week my friend!
Dudette! How are you? Glad you dig the list. So proud my girl found the fit for her in college. She made all the decisions on who to make official visits to and everything.
Can I recommend the Simple Habit app for meditation? Five minutes a day is all it takes. Just a little something. 60 seconds to focus on breathing and give yourself a break. I know the struggle can be real!
Look forward to getting to your page again, friend. xo