Why do we meditate? Let me meditate on that.

Don’t you just want to know where this is? I wish I could remember.

What do you do in a meditation class? A friend at work asked.

We meditate, I said. You just chill out? For a whole hour, I answered. On a day I was the only student in the class, it felt like old times. An era when my workmates were either too Zen or too busy to pause on a Wednesday afternoon.

My guess is too busy. My hope is too Zen, but is there really such a thing?

Meditation isn’t the only place to grab Zen. I’ve found it in one’s eyes, or in a forest, or, honestly, on a breezy porch with my laptop, with plenty to read, and no deadlines. A work lunch makes practical sense, but give me that midweek, midday break to recharge.

What happens when we meditate

Peace and serenity. Power, also.

1-We breathe

The toughest times in life leave us with such limited lung capacity. Shallow breathing during tense times is like driving on the highway in second gear. What stress it causes!

Breathing won’t reduce your credit card interest rates, but it’ll lubricate your soul as you write those checks.

What it looks like

With back straight and crown of your head high as possible, draw in the longest, deepest breath you can. Slowly. You don’t want to pass out. Hold it for 3 counts. Then, release, taking longer to fully exhale than you did to inhale.

Hold at the bottom for 3 counts before starting again.

Don’t feel discouraged if this doesn’t feel easy. The more tension we carry, the more uncomfortable it will feel. Breathe once, twice. If you’ve done that, you’ve begun.

That. Exactly that:

2-We pause

That critical pause between stimulus and reaction – that’s where the action is. It’s knee-jerk, a literal (or figurative) middle finger flipped in the face of adversity. How often do you wish your second reaction to the crisis had been your first? I want that superpower.

Can’t get your navigation app to connect? Or music to stream? Take your own route to work, roll down the windows, and hear and see what the universe is trying to show you.

What it looks like

See No. 1. Breathe once. Twice if you must, 371 times if necessary. See your first reaction. Is it angry? Will it move anything toward resolution? Let it sit, then fade away. What replaces it? What idea comes when you’ve discounted the one that came from spite?

To hear someone describe you like your first pointed reaction to things hurts. We want to be considered for kindness and reason. Look for those attributes in that second solution.

That. Exactly that:

3-We forgive

This goes for others, yes, and the world at large, especially when it seems to have claws out while ours remain retracted. More importantly, it’s for ourselves. It’s for not getting Nos. 1 and 2 right always. Being mindful doesn’t mean being perfectly mindful.

What it looks like

Recognize your next negative self-thought. When we fail or perceive we’ve failed, we attribute it to unworthiness. What if we accepted that negative thought, and replaced it, as we did with our responses?

What if we not only dismissed the negative but replaced it with a positive?

That. Exactly that:

Why do I meditate? My friends ask me this. My kids, too. One boy I coached asked if I could make my body levitate when I meditate. I wish!

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Meditation hasn’t upgraded my car or my beaten-down laptop. It hasn’t given me a raise or promotion or healthier skin. It’s simply given me the tools I need to live in harmony with reality. Even tacos are tastier in moments like that.