I’ve been wrong a lot in the past 24 hours.
Mostly, at Mallard Creek Park. Mostly, about soccer and about failing eyesight. See, I faulted the officials in our high school game of missing a horrible foul against us. Twenty-four hours later, I did the same during Camdyn’s game.
Say what you want about officials (mostly concerning eyesight), but upon further review, my gripes were misguided.
Maybe as I silently wish for refs who’ve passed eye exams, I should remember my own last eye exam was during the Obama administration. Or when Jefferson Starship was making its comeback. I don’t remember.
Point is, I was boorish – and I’m grateful for how cruddy that made me feel.
Because maybe next week I can check myself during games. I normally do. But if a meteor strikes me dead in the night, my last acts as coach and dad will not be what I’ve been striving for all these months of mindfulness.
What else am I grateful for?
1-Getting my team back. Seeing them work. They were lost, then found, and may be lost again. It’s been a rough go early on. For a moment, I felt I had them back. After 16 years, there’s still a lot of learning for a coach.
2-A loving family who looks out. Honestly, life feels lonely at times. I wonder if that’s a cloak I pull on myself. Probably not entirely. Still, sometimes, when the chips are down, those who share my DNA come through in big ways.
3-Parallels and connections. Sometimes the ordinary becomes extraordinary. By chance? By design? I’m not sure. But I’m grateful for the conversation that results. It just feels as if something cosmic has aligned or at worst been illuminated in my imagination.
4-My Marie Kondo’ed drawers. Not my underwear. And I’m not a bandwagon folder. Hell, I’ve been folding my T-shirts so they stand at attention for years. I heard Marie’s book on the audio back when we still had Walkmans.
5-Surprises on the soccer field. Not the kind dogs leave behind. Learnings. Putting a kid in a spot by accident and watching her thrive. There are some in any game. I still wish a ref would drop a $20 on the pitch because I’d totally snag it.
6-My dreams. They’re tough to attain. Perhaps impossible. But they keep me eternally leaning forward. Maybe the very pursuit of them puts me where I’m supposed to be. Because they’re at least on the list.
7-Leaning in hard, but willing to grow: I have so much to do. The only way it’ll happen is if I lean hard into the day from the moment my alarm goes off. It’s exhausting. But I see the good that comes from getting after it.
8-Proximity and circumstance. Again with connections and conversations. You’re where you’re supposed to be. I’ve taken a “no extra steps” policy. I won’t step out of my way to chase what isn’t supposed to be near me.
9-Challenges, even the prickly ones. Most are prickly. But they give us a chance to figure it out. To fail. To think. To hate it. To love what we can do despite it. If one part of my life falls in order, I know another is about to go apeshit.
10-Frozen pizza – reheated in the toaster oven. It’s just, majestic. It’s 1:36 a.m. and my eyelid is twitching from the caffeine load I ingested to stay up and write, and I’m legit dreaming of the Totino’s pizza in the freezer. Right. Now.
Good night everyone.
Wait, what are you grateful for, cuz?