🇺🇸 Go Ask Daddy about native communications, stars and stripes, and soccer stars

stormtrooper 3 feb because gatlinburg
Just a ‘trooper canning Js. On a bridge. In Gatlinburg.

The questions are anonymous.

GAD GRAPHICI mean, you can narrow it down to three girls who look a little like me. But as far as which kid specifically asked a specific question? There’s protection for the innocent. As you’ll see comes into play for No. 3 today.

The questions come in droves in everyday life.

For the unfamiliar: I try to track every question my girls ever ask me. Sometimes they’re easy (How come you can’t push a receiver in football?) and sometimes they ain’t (What does a Skye Terrier look like?) There’s about 250 at the moment on the list.

I pick five at random to answer once a week in this space.

I once asked readers to submit questions and I’d write a post on it. Let’s do that again. If you’re up for it. Send an email to elipacheco.ejp (at) gmail.com to submit your questions to me. I’ll round them up (assuming I get more than one) and answer them right here.

Let’s get started.

multicolored smoke
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

1. How does a smoke signal work?

Think of the smoke signal as the grandfather of the text message.

This was in the time before 3G. Hell, it predated 1G. As such, your smoke signals were decidedly NOT encrypted. Anyone could see them. However, each tribe had its own system. So a Navajo smoke signal might not make sense to a Shawnee.

‘Here’s how:

SET A FIRE | Duh. But wait for me. Don’t play with matches.

ADD SOME GREENERY | This isn’t a marshmallow-roasting fire. It needs to be nice and smoky. Green twigs will give you the lift.

WET THE BLANKET | Not with pee pee. Water will suffice.

HOLD THE BLANKET OVER THE FIRE | Not Michael Jackson’s kid! The blanket you just doused. Let the smoke build up below it … and wait for it … let it fly.

What do the signals mean?

ONE PUFF | Here I am!

TWO PUFFS | It’s all good in the campground-hood.

THREE PUFFS | SOS! Emergency! Or, we forgot to pack the graham crackers!

FOUR PUFFS | Eat at Joe’s.

FIVE PUFFS | What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

hornets coverage 2019 spectrum center work
My view from press row. We used to be courtside, but they figured out they could charge mad $$ for those seats. Why give them to some media slob?

2. Don’t the Hornets have cheerleaders?

They’re the Honey Bees. They’ve been part of the franchise since the start, although they were the Lady Kats during the infamous Bobcats Era in Charlotte hoops history. Lots has changed since those early days, in the late 80s, when Charlotte joined the NBA.

They’re great ambassadors for the team. They’re often in the community repping the Hornets, and all are involved in community service and charity. That’s cool. And their squad name is better than most in the NBA.

The Boston Celtics refer to theirs as Dancers. Psh. Generic.

The team recently brought dancers together from the past 30 years of Charlotte basketball to take the court with Coolio. We missed it-o. Also, one of the Honey Bees follows me on Instagram and I’d like to get her in on a #GirlsRock interview soon.

united states of america flag
Photo by Gerritt Tisdale on Pexels.com

3. Didn’t Martha Stewart make the American flag?

Isn’t that adorable? This goes right down with other proclamations my girls have made, such as “chiro means earth,” “why is the TV sideways?” (from a kid laying on her side) and the pronunciation of the word academy as “ak-uh-DEM-ee.”

I was wrong in my first thoughts of the correct answer, too.

I thought of Betsy Ross, an American hero, who commonly gets credit for stitching up the very first Old Glory. Like a wet blanket (like the ones you’d use for smoke signals), scholars have debunked the notion that the flag came from Betsy.

The universe converged on this page yet again.

Martha Stewart, the American retail executive businesswoman, didn’t make the American flag. She did, though, write a post about it. In it, she covers the truth that probably a lawyer named Francis Hopkinson – himself a patriot too – created it.

That first flag – flown in debut in 1776 – had an identity crisis. Kind of like when the Houston Oilers first moved to Nashville, and still were the Oilers, and not yet the Titans. Remember? Anyway …

The first American flag bore the Union Jack of oppressive England where the field of stars sits today. It stood above 13 red and white stripes that represented the American colonies. By the grace of God, that Union Jack got jacked a year later.

Then, I found this evidence that Martha Stewart did make the American flag.


closeup photo of black and gray housefly on white surface
Photo by Thierry Fillieul on Pexels.com

4. Can you buy flies in a jar?

Speaking of Yum …

In this day and age, you can buy ANYTHING. Yet, not even on Amazon, could I find flies in a jar. I did, however, Jar of Flies/SAP. The album. By Alice in Chains. It includes such hummable tunes as Rotten AppleWhale & Wasp, and Swing on This.

I also learned how to make a fruit fly trap, which is kind of all full-circle-like, given that this Alice in Chains song is called Rotten Apple. (I kind of dig this song. I’ve never heard it before.) And, sorry if the fly photo freaks you out. Flies are kinda badass.


[Check out how to make a fruit fly trap here. Maybe you can sell it after it’s full.]

5. Does Mallory Weber play for the USWNT?

She’s a forward for Portland Thorns FC in the NWSL. She played on the U20 and U23 teams for the U.S., but not on an Olympic or World Cup squad. [Follow her on Twitter!] I dig that she’s a strong proponent of women kicking ass in every sport and in every way.

Because that’s what #GirlsRock is all about. I’m going to tag her on Twitter when I promote this post and invite her to be a #GirlsRock interview. I hope she says yes. I have some really cool ones on the horizon, too.

Mallory’s first goal with Thorns was a game-winner! We had that on our high school team last week. A first-time player scored the winner with 4 minutes left. One of the greatest finishes I’ve ever been part of!

Check out this video of Mallory’s post-game interview. It’s awesome to see that even when soccer girls become professional women playing the sport they love, they’re still goofy after a good match!

weber quote winning goal


  1. ksbeth says:

    i love the questions and you’re so right about flies being badass. they know how to annoy us endlessly.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      For a 10-day lifespan, why not be badass, right Beth? If being annoying is being badass … well, we dads are in.

      1. ksbeth says:

        Yes! Ps I sent you a question to your email

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        yesss. Received, beth. Thank you!

  2. Beth says:

    Well I always learn something new in these posts my friend! I never knew what all the different smoke signals meant. So thank you for sharing! I feel knowledge now!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Sometimes, it’s even useful knowledge, Beth. One never can tell in the moment.

  3. So many questions — at five per week, i guess that’s job security!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I have a few to go, Mimi! And there’s always new ones added.

  4. my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

    I was having a laugh at “Whats the frequency Kenneth?” – I haven’t heard that song in ages (love REM) and now have it stuck in my head on a loop! So thanks for that.
    As Beth said, one always learns new things from your posts 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I hoped someone would know that reference! That phrase has an interesting history, too. I learn so much by answering questions for my girls. For instance, I learned a while back that dog pee on a credit card won’t render it useless. The card, not the dog. (That was an actual question. Or maybe it was a hotel room key. It was definitely dog pee though.)

  5. Lyn says:

    I’ve always wondered about smoke signals.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Now you can send them. Send me one!

      1. Lyn says:

        ლ(╹ε╹ლ) ლ(╹ε╹ლ)

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