Madison texted when she was out and about.
What do you want from McDonald’s, pops? She asked. She’s as ready for a snack at the drop of a french fry (just like dad.) I ordered a McDouble, no onions. And I proceeded to shut out the universe like it was a veggie burger.
It’s just a snack. But if I had said, surprise me … imagine then. Sure, that puts Madison on the spot. But what could happen? She might have ordered me a Quarter Pounder. With Mac Sauce. Or something new, like a McGrilledCheese with bacon and a Star Wars toy.
I don’t know.
Anyway, I miss out by choosing the narrow path. Or, if Madison remembers what dad would order on a budget, and that’s cute. The greater lesson here: If I say surprise me, I kind of surrender it to the universe, don’t I?
Career bliss? Coming right up
We’re told constantly to think things into existence. As if the universe was a short-order cook, ready to serve up our heart’s desire. A girlfriend who looks like Felicity Jones and a career as F1 champ? Coming right up!
I love some of the mindful posts I heart on Instagram – which say my time is coming, I’m right where I need to be, that today’s patience will become tomorrow’s fulfillment.
Only, as the sign says in the sandwich shop I ate in today “free food – TOMORROW.” We wait around for our order to come through, for it to be Amazon Primed right into our lap in two days. Oh wait, I said FELICITY Jones, not January … although, you know.
I hope with all I am that my greatest dreams would blow my feeble mind.
I detest the post that promises I’ll become the richest person in my family. Or suggests that I can attract the type of fortune I want, just by willing it. Well, then why aren’t we all not eating grilled cheese sandwiches to gain muscle mass and clearer skin?
Clearly, that’s what the masses would choose if it was this easy.
My dreams are big. The universe? Way bigger. If the universe took my order and stuffed my freezer with 23 years worth of Totino’s pizza and made Samantha Ponder follow my Instagram, sure, that’s instant bliss. But – what else could it have delivered?
What is possible?
What could the universe really deliver? It makes curbside Walmart look like a corner mini-mart with a broken chip reader. What isn’t possible? I know there’s a path to a happier me but Totino’s will fill the void only temporarily.
Eventually, Sam Ponder will grow weary of my foodie posts.
What is it I really want, then, if not my dream order? It’s for the universe to surprise me. Give me something I haven’t been consumed dreaming about. Light up my world in big and small ways. A connection. A conversation. A reemergence. A realization.
Give me something, universe. Anything.
Help me to believe again. Help me to catch my breath. Show me a way that the changes I strive so hard to make reality are changing my soul somehow. Give me a sign I’m on the right track. That I’m doing okay when I father and write and coach.
Or, is that too specific?
A to Z Challenge: