🙅🏽‍♂️ Go Ask Daddy about cream science, tequila compliance and the history of stinky schools we hate


stormtrooper octopus cinco de mayo waiting antique storeMy girls always knew dad’s hands were warm.

GAD GRAPHICIt’s a good thing when you’re a dad. As they’ve gotten younger, they don’t come to me for hand-warming much anymore. Maybe they outgrew it. Maybe they gained the gift of warming coils in their hands like dad’s – who knows?

In junior high, a girl once touched my hand during lunch.

I know, right? It’s true though. She couldn’t get over how soft and smooth my hands were. That was cool and all. She was touching my hand, for Boy George’s sake! But then teenage me began to wonder if she took it as a sign of weakness.

So I got one of those hand-strengthening jobbies, like this one.

I need to have strong hands too, you know. I used it probably three times. To this day, my hands are still soft. I have had little manual labor over the years, save for a nasty stint handling seafood seasonally at Costco (I’m completely healed.)

This ties so loosely into the first question today, about lotion. Hey, I did the best I could!

applying body lotion care cosmetic product
Photo by Linda Prebreza on Pexels.com

1. What makes this lotion feel cold?

We’re talking cold creams, and I’m glad it’s not a dupe, like Iceland and Greenland. You know, how they called Iceland Iceland so that people would think it was like Cleveland. But they called Greenland Greenland so that people would think it was like San Diego.

Talk about bait and switch.

Cold creams, though, are water and oil emulsions. That means the water and oil are together but not completely mixed. They’re in with other substances that add consistency and fragrance, depending on the product.

When you apply it, the water and fragrance evaporate. Kind of like how sweat cools your skin. Kind of. Anyway, your skin is warm, so it helps the elements evaporate. Like when you feel a cooling sensation if you rub rubbing alcohol on your skin.

If your lotion has eucalyptus or tea tree oil? That makes it even cooler.

agriculture animal animal photography blur
Photo by Matthias Zomer on Pexels.com

2. Why don’t we ever see white cows with black spots?

I would have agreed that a white cow with black spots was something of an oddity, based on our observations, mainly in Cabarrus County farmlands. But it seems there is plenty either way. Maybe it’s like determining the question about zebras:

Are they black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

Holsteins are the most popular. But the criteria for what makes a cow black with white spots or white with black spots is intriguing. Is it a 51%/49% split? How can we determine this?

A Belted Galloway cow has a black butt and front end, with a white swath down the middle, for instance. 

Bottom line is, we need to take a drive in the country soon.

lemon juice on selective focus photography
Photo by DESIGNbyJA on Pexels.com

3. Do you know how to make margaritas?

Boy, do I ever. (Okay, I’d probably have to Google it, but no sweat.) Back in the day, when I was in college, I could do it. Not because I was the life of the party. Because I worked in a Mexican restaurant that had a bar but no bartender.

I even learned about top-shelf margaritas (which, luckily for my short ass, aren’t always tough to reach.) And I played that knowledge into a petty little scene I’m about to share.

A couple came in. The woman was dreamy; the dude showed up in a ballcap with a bad attitude. She was so sweet. He wasn’t. They ordered margaritas, and he just sneered. What kind of guy isn’t happy to share chips and salsa with a dreamboat?

I got this crazy idea.

I made Ms. Thang – let’s call her Carly – a top-shelf margarita, crafted with love. I tossed the cheap stuff into Dufus’ drink – let’s call him Dufus. She raved about the drink, saying it was the best margarita she’d EVER had, and she asked my name.

He grumbled: It’s not that special.

She got mad at him for being a crank. He didn’t think to try her margarita to see what the fuss was about. I made them each one more. Her cheeks grew rosier; his, well, who cares? So that’s how I made the best and worst margarita on earth on the same night.

At the same table. Twice.

person flattening dough with rolling pin
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

4. Why does everyone on cooking challenge shows have a sad story?

Sob stories sell. I mean, who wants to root for the lady who grew up rich and went to culinary school because her boyfriend did? Or the dude who inherited a restaurant from an uncle he hated? If you’re a great chef without emotional baggage …

You’re just a great chef. (yawn).

In America, we like the underdog. The problem is, in America, we sometimes fabricate the underdog. Or embellish it, at least. Reporters need that, too. That’s why they ask about broken bones and dead relatives when an athlete wins a gold medal.

Plus, if you get on a chef show, that’s awesome. But, it’s not something you’ve worked for all your life. You might use your prize money on your bakery, or to remove your great-aunt’s corns. But you won’t be exiled out of America for coming in second.

Yet, that’s how they make it sound.

Having the best Italian creme truffle cookies with gold and platinum reduction sauce isn’t going to make the family that disowns you take you back. Getting that after-tax payout for surviving among three cooks won’t save the bumble bees.

But it sure makes a good story.

5. Why is Gray Stone Day built right next to Pfeiffer University?

Gray Stone Day – site of Madison’s final high school game, Camdyn’s final middle school game and countless butt-whoopin’s and a close call or two (okay, one), is in a town called Misenheimer, N.C. The nicest part of Misenheimer?

The neighboring town of Richfield, N.C.

At least there’s a good pizza place, although we got tossed from there because girls were flinging water out of straws. We’ve had rough games in MIsenheimer, and good ones. Mostly, we’ve argued with townsfolk there during matches.

Then felt bad that we could go home to Charlotte. But they had to stay in Misenheimer.

Anyway. They built Gray Stone next door because Pfeiffer University donated the land. Damn thing cost $7 million to build. We went in there once, looking for bathrooms. You could fit most of Queen’s Grant in their cafeteria.

Oh, and we had to wait out a thunderstorm during a playoff game there once.

Their principal came in to admonish our players for wearing cleats in the hallways. Gasp! The good thing about having Spartan accommodations is that you can act like Spartans in them. Or any such classification of Roughians.

This post was kind of laced with vinegar, wasn’t it?

pirlo quote rivals

14 thoughts on “🙅🏽‍♂️ Go Ask Daddy about cream science, tequila compliance and the history of stinky schools we hate

  1. They really go overboard with that sob story thing on UK talent shows, usually with Coldplay-type piano music in the background. It got on my nerves so much I had to stop watching them. Like, does having a dead granny make you a better singer? I don’t think so.

    1. It’s too much, isn’t it Annabelle? There’s human interest, and then there’s pandering to those emotions. For once, I’d love a contestant to say – my life is pretty good. And I still want to win this thing!

  2. I have a fantastic margarita recipe I could send you, just sayin. They’re one of my favorites. And I think you know more about creams and lotions than I do! I’m always learning something new in these posts!

    1. Please send me that recipe, would you Beth? And a Juicy Lucy while you’re at it? I had to do a little research on the creams. I keep waiting for some winsome scientist to arrive and show me the error of my ways.

  3. Besides the simple fact that it’s better to be nice, this is a reason to be kind to those who serve your food.

    That’s quite interesting about lotion, i had no idea why it always felt not just soothing but cool to the touch.

  4. I love a good margarita! it’s actually probably one of the only drinks (aside from just pouring some wine out of a bottle) that I know how to make! They’re so easy and delicious!

    1. Ugh… stupid phone! Where was I?
      Oh yeah.. hands! 🤲 Lotion and moisturizers are essential! Nothing is a bigger turnoff than dirty fingernails and hands!! 🤢
      2. I LOVE cows 🐄!! We call Belted Galloways Oreo Cookie cows 🍪! Seriously! That is what they look like and the baby moo moos are the cutest darn things you have ever seen!!
      3. Yum! Margaritas🍹 are the best!!! I prefer mine in the rocks with Patron please! And lots of salt! 😉
      4. So, cool story about cooking shows… I am from a relatively small town🏘 in Western Ky and a chef/restaurant owner put our little town on the national🌍 map by being a finalist on Top Chef 🔪on BRAVO TV.🖥 She was the runner up but still did an amazing job. We are very proud of her. 👏The restaurant is a Farm to Table and awesome already. But now she is slammed w business! ❤
      5. Love stories about your girls! They Rock and are apparently good at getting noticed! 😉🍕⚽️
      Hope they (and you)will having an amazing summer! 😎

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