
Iâve fallen behind on all the Star Wars movies.
It pains me to say that but also doesnât. Camdyn didnât give the most glowing review of Solo: A Star Wars Story. What we have feared for years seems to have come true: Disney might just be stinking up our story.
I didnât ask for details.
Weâll see, though. When Disney first got ahold of Star Wars, I was apprehensive. I ended up crying in the theater! (My girls noted that all the other old dudes in there also cried.) I donât want to cry sad tears again for the loss of the story I grew up with.
But enough of that.
We might be outgrowing it, literally. Stormtroopers will always be a part of this blog. But among clothes Camdyn is getting rid of after graduation: A T-shirt depicting Darth Vader at-bat in a baseball game. Weâll see if Star Wars continues to grow with us after all.
1-Are the old people going to be on the new Star Wars?
Old to you kids might not mean old to me.
Yes, Luke Skywalker will be in it. Theyâre going to include Princess Leia, played by the late Carrie Fisher, digitally. Also, the actor who portrayed Chewbacca has died, but heâll be easier to replace, logistically.
Billy D. Williams will be back to play Lando Calrissian, but I think you girls donât know that dude yet, do you? Well, from reruns of Return of the Jedi.
I read that Kerri Russell also will be in this movie. The great thing about the original movies was that, outside of Harrison Ford (Han Solo *and* Indiana Jones??), we knew the actors for Star Wars only. Kerri is acclaimed and adorable, but it feels like trampling.
Gah, I sound whiney. Stay off my lawn. And my space fantasy, please.

2-How long are MLS games?
Major League Soccer games last 90 minutes, as is standard for top-level soccer. Thatâs two 45-minute halves, plus a 15-minute halftime. Referees – the last of the accepted sporting fascists – can add âextra timeâ as they see fit.
Legit reasons include stoppages such as injuries, game delays for celebration, or minutes spent chasing streakers or rabid raccoons about the pitch.
If a game is level after 90 minutes (plus stoppage time), teams play two 15-minute halves. No golden goal. If the game is still tied after that – itâs a tie. In the playoffs, theyâll go to penalty kicks.
Again, showing a grumpy old guy side of myself right now, I donât care much for overtime in the regular season.
As a coach of teams that would be thrilled to tie with better teams, playing for a tie is a strategy. Also? Get off my lawn. And my space fantasy. And my sport, too, apparently.
3-What are those numbers on the IndyCar lap counter for?
Those things have a little of everything on them! Weâre talking about the dashboard on network TV for the Indianapolis 500. Not to be confused by the scoring pylon that juts up at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. That thing shows you the running order in real time.
The TV dashboard has more stuff on it, such as intervals to the lead and ⊠well, I couldnât figure out the rest. Lap splits, perhaps? Tire pressure? The degree to which all those tiny drivers were turning their tiny steering wheels? Perhaps.
Wow. Can you tell I favor stock car racing? Stay off my lawn. Stay off my space fantasy and sport, while youâre at it. And donât give me too much data on a car race Iâm watching primarily because the Coca-Cola 600 hasnât come on yet.

4-Why do you get mad about our music, but you listen to bad stuff, too?
You really think this is a good question to ask right now, given my past three answers? The funny thing is, I feel young and spry today. Productive. Active. Activated. But all thatâs coming out is growls about the good old days.
Only, in music, they really were the good old days.
I mean, Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band is stanza after stanza sung by happy white people in 1976 about getting it on at lunchtime. Yet, itâs not nearly as bad as when I hear the first part of Whistle by Flo Rida.
This is a generational thing. My great-grandparents objected to Elvisâ pelvis, for Madonnaâs sake.
I wouldnât say I get mad at your songs. Not like Star Wars or soccer mad. If anything, Iâm offended by the low quality of the songs overall. I didnât even know Cake By The Ocean was dirty until today. I really felt they were talking about cake. I rarely question the cake.
I feel like your oldies stations are going to suck. Badly.
So stay off my lawn, with those horrible excuses for songs playing on your MP3s or streaming or hell, vinyl, I guess, since youâre bringing that back. Stay away from the beautiful game and beautiful space fantasies and donât you dare overload me with metrics when I just want to root for Danica Patrick.
5-Did Brittney Spears shave her head?
Yes, and she couldnât even blame your generation of music for it.
It was about 12 years ago. Wow. Madison was 9, Hayden was 6, and Camdyn was 2. I was ⊠well, old enough to be a dad. There are a thousand theories about why she did it and what it symbolized. Did she crack under paparazzi pressures?
Her husband had just left her with the kids, and Brittney said in a 2008 interview that a lot of âartificialâ stuff had been going on.
The shaved head was a fresh start. A rebellion, or shedding whatâs old. Itâs a positive process, that. The act became iconic in a generation. Every move she made was under a microscope. We all make mistakes in our 20s and 30s.
Hell, 40s, I guess (I haven’t felt it, yet.)
But when youâre in the spotlight like she was, coping with breakups and parents divorcing, and, oh, the image she was supposed to be living, it can get a little hairy.
I can understand shedding her hair, one of the symbols of her femininity and identity. Iâm not dealing with anything on that scale, but I feel like shedding things, too. Clutter. Worry. Clothes that donât fit. And maybe even my Star Wars figures from my youth.
You never know whatâll grow back.
-30-
so funny, things do change over time in spite of us. 2 of my daughters had to do an intervention with me at one point to tell me that the 3rd and youngest one was no longer into pink, sparkly, glitter things and that I should change up my gifts and wardrobe choices for her. she didn’t want to hurt my feelings but wanted me to know. so funny now. p.s. I saw the band perform ‘afternoon delight’ live at some college thing I was at and died laughing knowing the meaning.
It’s always moving parts, beth. you had the pink talk, eh? for my girls, their eras of pink ended abruptly too.
This lyric, though:
But you got some bait a-waiting and I think I might
Like nibblin’ a little Afternoon Delight
Itâs amazing what we outgrow, and what we get very strict about that has to be a certain way. Yes, The oldies stations of the future are not something i look forward to.
Maybe our standards imporve, Mimi? Thankfully my kids will still have Journey and Flock of Seagulls and ELO to listen to!
I remember when Britney shaved her head- I was at a really low point in life (more than now, which is saying something) but I would always remind myself I’m not at shaving my head levels, THAT is messed up. I’m not there. I mean, I *lived* for the hourly updates on her complete breakdown. I was at work, getting screamed at by a completely delusional supervisor thinking, “At least I’m not doing this, things could clearly be worse”. So when I heard she might be going off the rails again I got giddy and that’s terrible. Ha! But again, I’m kind of in a low spot so my girl saves the day AGAIN.
I think her head-shaving was a spot check for many of us, wasn’t it? Like, how are we doing in comparison? And how much less scrutiny are we under than her?
It also made it clear that stardom (or just a reminder?) don’t make us immune to pushy expectations, busting up families or dolt dads for your children.
Always rooting for you, SS. If you could see the spirit we see that you fight with, you’d be amazed. Always got your back.
HAH! Music these days is a bit more explicitly dirty, I think. I like music from various generations though.
Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I heard on Spotify … it’s not cloaked as it was before! There’s good things going on, too.
I remember Britney shaving her head. I cannot believe how long ago that was (and how old I now feel haha).
So many songs have catchy tunes and you don’t always realise the lyrics until you actually listen to the words. Sometimes I’m quite shocked haha!
I’ll join you in the grumpy old folks corner.
I’m woefully behind on Star Wars movies. I don’t listen to hit music anymore, so except for the huge cultural reference that EVERYBODY knows I’m clueless. (Although in my favor I’ve replaced hit song radio with cool community supported, every-genre music.) I don’t even like car racing.
Bah humbug đ
Pull up a chair, Kathy! The Star Wars movies used to come once a decade – now they’re every summer, it seems! You probably haven’t, as I haven’t, watched Games of Thrones, either.