Know what’d be cool?
It’d be cool if our president and the World Cup MVP would meet. If one of them – doesn’t matter who – put politics aside, for a day. Closed door. Player and President.
When I watched the World Cup final, I didn’t see gay players or straight. There was no distinction between conservative or liberal. All that mattered was the white shirt.
It’s kind of the cool thing about sports.
What if we could take it one more step? What if Megan could say, “Mr. President – I’d like to visit the White House. Could I have a private meeting with you?”
What if Donald could say, “Megan, you’ve done this nation proud. Please accept this invitation to the White House. Let’s meet in the Oval Office. Closed-door, no media – your concerns, only.”
I like America where this sort of thing could happen. No one asked me, but it was on my mind. Here are five questions the girls have asked, though.
1. Does the flu shot hurt more than other shots?
Back in 2011, folks felt it might have.
That was a rare year. Vaccines targeted the same strains as 2010. That could cause more of an allergic response, like swelling and soreness. You could ask for a smaller needle, but your insurance might not cover that. And it’s more expensive. Ibuprofen could help.
I’d rather skip the shot altogether. I’ve got this.
2. If you serve two terms as president, can you run again four years later?
Nope. Well, you could run a 5K, or a report, or run a risk. I wouldn’t suggest it, but you could run a fever, too. Thanks to the 22nd Amendment, once a president serves two terms, consecutive or not, you’re done running for president.
George Washington started all this.
Americans wanted him to run for a third term, and he said no. He had things to do, you know. Dude could have been king (more king than LeBron James thinks he is) but knew it was best if he didn’t.
Plus, stuff changes. Why tarnish your legacy if the game has passed you by? Like when Steve Spurrier tried to come back or even, Dick Vermeil. That’s tough. I’d rather take my place on a dollar bill and retire to a life of M*A*S*H* reruns and Totino’s pizza.
3. Can I cook two sheets of cookies at once?
You could – but it’s tougher than justified getting a flu shot to me.
So you’re supposed to divide the oven into thirds.
Put one rack at 1/3 and the second at 2/3. If that math didn’t kill your buzz, catch this: They want you to switch sheets halfway through. Are you kidding me? When cookies come out of the oven, that should mean they’re on their way to my mouth.
Plus, I hate to pull things out before they’re done, at all. Feels like bad mojo. Let’s stick to one big-ass cookie sheet at a time, loveys.
4. Are you OCD?
I took the test. It says I display little or no indications of OCD. That stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. People have asked me if I’m many things (I won’t list them) but this is a first.
I’m the opposite of OCD. Might be a tad lax in the whole attention-to-detail thing.
Which isn’t true. My desk is messy and my car a garbage scow, but I write lists. I try to organize life. I’m a stickler for straightening aisles at Target. Makes it tough to zone the entire section at that pace. I’m not sure which girl asked this question, or what led to it.
We toss around OCD in a blase way.
That grates me. That we turn out spices label out doesn’t make us OCD. Or that we try to fix our hair for selfies. Or organize our animal crackers in pairs. (This one is fun.) It’s rude to those who live with OCD to attribute chosen behaviors to claim to have OCD.
You know not much offends me. But this does.
5. Where will the Super Bowl be played?
The 2020 Super Bowl will be in Miami. Well, South Florida. That stadium – which has had more names than Shaquille O’Neal – is in the swamplands. It’s not Miami. It’s on a concrete slab slapped down in the marshes.
We checked out a baseball game in that stadium back in the day.
It’s made for football, so it was like someone jabbed a snickerdoodle in a graham cracker box. We sat on the club level, but you had to turn your ass to the left to face home plate. It was so long ago that a dude named Marquis Grissom led the game off.
He’s 52 now.
The team he played for: The Montreal Expos. Yes, they actually had batting helmets back then. Anyway. Football. They’re planning a huge canopy construction to cover those old tired seats.
That 4 p.m. Florida thunderstorm is like clockwork, but Super Bowls start late, anyway. So we’re good.
After the 2020 game, the Super Bowl will head to Los Angeles for 2021. I wish it was at The Coliseum, one of only five things in L.A. I like (Gah, this post is crabby.) But they’re making this new campus-style stadium in Los Angeles. Whatever that means.
The L.A. Rams will call it home.
Wonder if they can make it to this game. If the Rams have to watch the Cardinals, 49ers or Seahawks win a title in their new digs, it’s gonna hurt. Like a flu shot, even.