Look who is back.
It’s me. No big deal. You might not have even noticed. That’s fine.
This is quite the vast universe.
If one writer falls by the wayside, there are no ripple effects. None detectable from 10,000 feet, anyway. Which is nice in a way.
You’re not disappointing the masses by giving way in your writing space to crickets.
And besides, people have the stuff to do. I’ve had the stuff to do. Self-acceptance is a full-time job, tougher to get out of than those 10 records for a penny deals back in the 80s.
Self: The tough part of self acceptance
Self-acceptance isn’t browsing like a prince through Boz Scaggs and Air Supply albums. It’s the difficult shit you have to do, have to sort out. It’s easy to like others but not such a breeze when it comes to the dude in the mirror.
And, God, does it wax and wane.
You know like when you finally wrap up an extension cord right and then right at the end you miss a loop? It all comes loose and you’re on your ass on square one again. And again, no one’s watching, so it’s not humiliating, because you’re the only audience.
But if you’ve made progress, it can be vexing.
I’ve found the next tough frontier to conquer is letting go of peeves and irks with things I cannot control. I rocked it like Gandhi to start out with, y’all. I was getting my guru groove on.
That’s a work in progress, which is what someone positive says about a current state of losing.
I have to remind myself that even the under-construction parts have their value. Those times with the bases loaded against you with no outs and your breaking ball ain’t breaking. (Moments you’re unprepared for the task, for those non-baseball fans out there.)
Wednesday is on the way
Right now, I’m not feeling it—but I will.
If it’s stagnant as a Tuesday and lands hard like a Monday, that’s okay. Wednesday is on the way. Progress comes in fits and bursts, and the best thing about a lull is that there’s a fit or burst coming.
Am I even making sense?
Dusting off and writing isn’t always a pretty scene.
It’s not a great hair day and a cozy cafe where the barista smiles at you a lot. A tremendous smile and the Americano is delicious and you don’t even spill when you pack it with sugar and cream. It’s not always like that.
It’s often you, unshowered, drinking Aldi diet soda, trying to get back on track, posting something you hoped to have posted before you even went to bed.
That’s where the dusting off happens. Look, I didn’t want this to become a bitchfest of discontent. I wanted today to serve as a reminder that you’ve got this.
Even if I’m no role model at the moment.
I hope that if even one of you wants to write today, you will. Life tosses us about and slaps the pen right out of our hand. I’m saying pick it right back up and write on.
Special thanks to Teri for inspiration for this post on her blog.
A to Z Challenge
A is for A new name for this blog
B is for B is for Bibster, baseball, and a spot by the birdbath #Gratitudeandshit