Go Ask Daddy About Pizza Placement, Tropical Trappings and Straight Shooting About Strawberries

#GoAskDaddy
photo credit: M’sieur Sub ! Photo de famille via photopin (license)

We have this silly rule, the kids and me.

GAD GRAPHICIt’s instituted because, 100% of the time, winter, spring, summer or fall, at night and by day, from school, from training, from detention (no, they don’t actually get detention), the girls, each of them individually and together, enter my car and my day with two words:

“I’m hungry.”

If there’s something on the way home, we’ll stop. (As long as we haven’t slumped into overdraft yet.) Grace has begun a subliminal campaign (whispering QT, for QuikTrip and their slushies and donuts, when she gets in the car with me.)

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5 Words I Know (That My Kids Know I Shouldn’t Know)

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photo credit: Thorsten-Koch Stormtrooper in Vienna via photopin (license)

Here’s the thing – I don’t know what a story is.

It’s on Instagram and SnapChat. Right? Maybe What’sApp, but that’s less likely. Anyway, I know it’s like a place where people can, I don’t know, write something like a blog post? It’s kind of a big deal, I gather. Yet, no, I don’t know its parameters.

That’s okay – I’m 45 after all.

Like the Washington Redskins, I sometimes get lucky, with the terminology. I coach teenagers and work with millennials. The most awkward thing I can think of this side of Elizabeth Banks reading my mind would be to appear to try to be acting young.

I’m not young.

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What One Soccer Coach Included On His Wish List Might Shock You

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It’s kind of like a soccer sideline, but really, it’s the towel rack at the Acorn Motel in Black Mountain, N.C. Nice place.

I’ll get it out of the way, first.

As a soccer coach, I’d love it if the tradition of root beer and a Cubano sandwich became post-game routine. I know that won’t happen, unless I make it work for myself. (Coaches who maintain a set approval rating could upgrade to cold beer and a Monte Cristo.)

Here’s 42 reasonable (and some unreasonable) items on this coach’s wish list.

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Go Ask Daddy About Oafs, Sponge Years and Celebrity Breakups

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“Laterz, Barack. Let’s kick it again sometime.”

“How in the world was I ever a student?”GAD GRAPHIC

In the midst of a work post, the utter stubbiness of my attention span – and ability to comprehend anything not about food, soccer or Star Wars – couldn’t be ignored. “They didn’t have as much stuff for you to learn back then,” Grace piped up.

“And they didn’t have all the ways we could learn stuff back then.”

Immediately I saw myself in my sabre-toothed tiger jumper, all Paleolithic-like in a schoolhouse like the ones on Little House on the Prairie. Oh, these kids.

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Photo a Day Challenge: June 12 – Youth

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EJP

Youth surrounds me on all sides.

It’s in the teams I coach. It’s in my teammates at work (of whom I’m old enough to be a big brother.) It’s constant, with my girls. Especially its evident on graduation day. One hundred-three seniors let fly their caps on Saturday, and look where one landed?

Grace served as an enthusiastic (and sassy) human hanger for Elise’s cap and gown.

Youth’s also still within me. I might creak and groan when I get up. Maybe I can’t cover ground the way I once did. I’m just as good once as I ever was, as the song goes. At times, I’m an old car with a fresh tank of gas, and that’s good to go.(That’s Elise, by the way, in the background, in the peach dress.)

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Go Ask Daddy About Definitions, Thermoplastics and the Irony of the Swine on the Sign

photo credit: #4 Skate or die! via photopin (license)
photo credit: #4 Skate or die! via photopin (license)

Life needs a splash of color now and then.

GAD GRAPHICNot always. I’ll still take my burger with cheese and bacon – and nothing else. Don’t let ketchup muddle up a piece of art. I like traditional pizza toppings – keep the barbecue chicken and sun-dried tomatoes on your California pie, mate. Notre Dame’s helmet. Acoustic anything.

Yet, those splashes, you know?

It’s just a dab of product in your hair. Vanilla in your waffles. (Just a capful, especially when you add a tablespoon of brown sugar.) It’s blue duct tape holding one headlight on my white Grand-Am. (That’s badass.)

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How I Read Constantly But Don’t Really Read

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photo credit: The letter G via photopin (license)

My friends do it.

Hell, they publish lists of books they suggest. Dana’s periodic review list inspired this post, although I know Julia and Letizia (and probably others whose names end with na or ia) write about the books they’ve read.

They rip through them like I rip through pizza.

I just feel like saying, you know what? I don’t read. I mean books. I read tons of words, every day. On your blogs. On social media. Sometimes, even for work. On Saturday, I even learned that there are interesting things to read on the back of wine bottles at Food Lion.)

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