You know – Coach Daddy time. A to Z Challenge? Few days behind. Photo a Day Challenge? Hell, June’s almost over, and it feels like I have a week of photos to take. So it stands to reason we’d recognize National Safety Month – June – On June 29.
Every month, I compile a post called 6 Words. Ernest Hemingway inspired it when he said any story can be told in six words. I ask bloggers, friends, strangers, and a few strange blogger friends to respond to a prompt.
June is National Safety Month. Tell us about something you did decidedly unsafe – in six words. It could be from any time in your life. Think “Rode Big Wheel off garage roof,” or “Wore Georgia gear in Florida section.”
It got late awfully early this year in the A to Z Challenge.
It’s May 9, and I’m just now wrapping up the write-everyday blog challenge that occupied all of April. I’m less Nyquist and all Whitmore if you’re comparing this challenge to say, the Kentucky Derby. (Nyquist won; Whitmore was 19th of 20 horses. Shagaf didn’t finish. At least I did.)
I tried to manage this plus a blog for work in this challenge.
That didn’t float. It did, for a short while. But to write every day, or at least post every day, that’s a grind, you know? It’s a first-world grind, yes. At least I learned a few lessons. If you’re not learning, why do it? Here are the lessons I came away with this time.
I listen to 80s music. I prefer the cream popsicle Buccaneers uniform to the pewter. Yet, the Pew Research Center’s How Millennial Are You? poll registers me at 72% Millennial. 72?? That’s nearly three-fourths Uber-riding, left-leaning, finger-swipe everything generation.
What in the name of Boy George is that all about?
I’m a stodgy right-leaning Libertarian who appreciates the progression of George Michael and the taste of original Coke – and sport an updated look that defies my greying temples.I don’t use Uber. I don’t Feel the Bern. I would consider buying eyeglasses online, though.
I tried to write a succinct topper to this sucker. Twice.
First, I wanted to tell you about the Warby Parker frames I tried on, and the adventures (and misadventures) they led to. It got long, and I didn’t want it to detract from the Go Ask Daddy portion. So I shelved it.
Then, I got into soccer.
So many great things happening in the beautiful game for me right now. They even overshadow the bad things going on. The tough stuff. By far. From one kid getting a yellow card and an acceptance letter, to another getting a hat trick on a special day for her sister.
Part of the net gain we parents get from having kids is the comedic return.
You know. When they do or say something so abhorrently inappropriate you want to blog about it. (Or send it to Readers Digest, depending on your generation.) Thing is, I’ve told my kids I wouldn’t. Well, mostly. There was the time Grace yanked my soccer pants down at halftime.
Mostly, the embarrassing stories happen to me.
Do you know Katy, the Experienced Bad Mom? She writes a kickass blog. She told stories of things her kid did to make her laugh. One involved a bra. The other stemmed from first-grader handwriting, a virtual fountain of fun, if you know where to look.
If you have kids – or if you eat like a kid – you know about Lunchables. They’re Kraft’s answer to a parent-packed lunch. (This isn’t even a sponsored post, but if Kraft wants to send me a kickass Kraft Racing T-shirt or something, sweet.) They’re loaded with sodium-laced goodies.
Do-it-yourself cold pizza kits. Capri Sun drinks. Candy bars and cheese chunks.
No, life doesn’t often come with divided plates and countable crackers. Especially with kids. No matter how true your intentions, how crafted your plan, no parent can guarantee an idyllic memory in any given moment.
Each draft pick in pro sports has such an impact on the franchise that picks the player, the player, of course, and also the players picked before and after.
Take the 1988 NFL Draft, for instance. The Indianapolis Colts selected Tennessee quarterback Peyton Manning. He gave the franchise quick cred, won a Super Bowl, and helped the Denver Broncos to a title at the end of his career. They couldn’t make their mind up until … draft day.
The other choice? Washington State quarterback Ryan Leaf, who went No. 2 to the San Diego Chargers.
They were considered an even match, Manning and Leaf, before the draft. Manning went on to win 186 games, pass for 71,940 yards, and garnered 14 pro-bowl selections. Leaf? He started 21 games, won four, passed for 3,666 yards (yikes) and never made a pro bowl.
What we shove in our pie holes. You are what you eat, they say. If that’s the case, I’m the love child of a pizzeria and a cheese monger’s workshop. With KitKat lined up around the edge. That’s not to say I never, ever eat healthy, because I do. For instance, how I eat cheeseburgers.
If tomatoes come on them, I don’t ask for them to hold them. That’s practically salad.
Instead, I pull tomatoes out from between patty and bun, toss a dash of salt and pepper on them, and enjoy. I told a soccer dad just tonight that my favorite salad ever is a supreme pizza. Tomatoes, green pepper, onion, mushroom … I might as well be vegan.
There are many. They remind me of the course my grandma’s black Labrador retriever wore down in the grass after dozens of high-speed chases along the fence, barking his ferocious warning to cars as they whizzed past on a lazy rural Colorado highway.
Continual repetitions grooved mi abuela’s yard. That’s happened on my face, too.
They’re set where there’s heaviest traffic – on my forehead, beside my eyes, bracketing my mouth. In 44 years, a baby face becomes an elementary school face. Chubby cheeks give way, and a traffic jam of baby and permanent teeth stack up, awaiting braces.
This A to Z Challenge has proven quite challenging up around here.
It’s what happens when you toss in a load of high school soccer matches and club practice and, oh, an assignment at work that could make or break us. No pressure. I can handle it. It’s just words. In fact, I armed myself with a two-liter of Diet Mountain Dew and commenced writing.
Then fell asleep sitting up at the couch minutes later.
I have a great guest post to share and other stuff to write and letters to catch up with. The universe, though, saw fit to make this the day I caught up, a Friday, for the letter Q. For “questions from my girls.”