5 for Friday: Ways I’m an enigma wrapped in a contradiction

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They should have written a song about me.

You know, like me being like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite. And then kinda like Roseanne Barr, Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin. (They never seem to write songs about dudes in history, do they?)

Dads are always saying “do as I say, not as I do,” but I won’t whitewash my innate contradictions that way.

I am complex. Whether it’s onion preferences or talk radio habits or sports experience, I am the exception to my own rules. There’s nothing wrong with that. Even Kate Gosselin has a little Aphrodite in her.